ick Page 654 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The Patriots Could Lose! There's Hope!
So, in the wake of the Patriots' near-loss last night, what have we learned, kids? Does this mean the supposedly inevitable undefeated season is in jeopardy? Does it mean the Patriots are about to get angry and start winning games by 70?...
The Knicks Thanksgiving Day Favorites
Happy Thanksgiving [Posting and Toasting]...
No Haka In Oregon, Bra
And now a story about a football team that begins every game with a 15-yard penalty ... and curiously, it's not the Raiders. The players from Jefferson High in Oregon perform the Haka Dance during pregame warmups every week, and are summarily penalized by officials for taunting. But instead of givin...
Floyd Mayweather Knows How To Promote Fights To Heterosexuals
We're a couple of weeks away from Floyd Mayweather-Ricky Hatton fight, and, you know, it should be a good, as far as boxing goes these days. And the fight is no longer lacking the appropriate amount of hype. Why? Because Floyd Mayweather's war of words begins with anal rape....
Jamboroo, Week 12: A Special, Comprehensive Breakdown Of Thanksgiving From An Experienced Fat Person
Big Daddy Drew's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo previews the upcoming weekend of the NFL every, well, every Thursday afternoon. Except for today, because we're off tomorrow, because it's Thanksgiving....
Somebody Stop This Fight (But Don't, Please)
Hey, here was something that Isiah hadn't tried: On Monday, disgusted with what he said was a lack of effort, he threw his entire team out of practice. The results on Tuesday were sparkling, as visiting Golden State beat the Knicks 108-82. The wheels have flown off of this bus, folks, and they're dr...
After They Lock Up All The Cricket Stars, Are All Of Us Next?
The "Brad Pitt of cricket," Imran Kahn, has been thrown into prison by Pakistani President Gen. Pervez Musharraf for speaking out against the government, and is now on a hunger strike. You thought American politics were a mess? Imagine if Tom Brady was thrown in the slammer for his political views, ...
Vick Just Can't Wait To Get Himself To Prison
We didn't get into this yesterday, but all told, we find it pretty amazing that Mr. Mexico has decided to check into jail three weeks early. We understand that it's a plan to look contrite in front of the judge ... but it's still taking quite a risk, wethinks....
In A Year, He'll Invade And Occupy Columbus, Georgia
Nick Saban was supposed to be the savior for Alabama football — and hey, the Dolphins sure have taken off since he left — but the team has collapsed down the stretch, losing their last three games, including last week's home loss to Louisiana-Monroe. Fortunately, Saban has been able to keep the loss...
Isiah Death Watch Begins Tonight At Midnight. Please Reset Your Clocks
Wasn't it former Lions coach Wayne Fontes who earned the nickname Rasputin for his ability to take a beating and never die? Fontes came so close to the precipice so many times without actually falling over that he began to brag that he would never be fired. Oops. We don't hear about Wayne much these...
You Can Make Antoine Walker an All Star Again!
Some enterprising internetters over on the RealGM message boards have hatched a plan to corner the NBA All Star voting market involving cookies (not the kind you throw or use to torture). I'm a moron so I don't really understand all of their Internet Explorer speak but I have deduced that they are q...
All Aboard The Marbury Express
Someone told us this morning that Stephon Marbury is basketball's version of "30 Rock"'s Tracy Jordan. This makes a lot of sense to us. You get a sense that, deep down, each is probably a good-hearted person, but they're so many different kinds of crazy that it doesn't even matter. And they're almos...
Jamboroo, Week 11: A Quick Tribute To The Strongest Motherf—ker In The NFL
Big Daddy Drew's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo previews the upcoming weekend of the NFL every, well, every Thursday afternoon....
Marbury Decides Against The Nuclear Option
So Stephon Marbury played for the Knicks on Wednesday — albeit $180,000 lighter in the wallet — saying "I'm positive all the way around. Whatever happened in the past is in the past." Damn it. Apparently some sort of deal with Isiah Thomas was brokered, and the skeletons will remain in the closet....
Let The Mardy Collins Era Begin!
Just when you think the New York Knicks can't possibly implode any more dramatically ... they find new and inventive ways to self-immolate. And this one's fun too: There might even be more Isiah Thomas dirt than we had imagined!...
Where In The Heck Is Stephon Marbury?
Seriously, now ... what the heck is going on with the Knicks and Stephon Marbury? One would think, after a team gives a job to the woman you humped in the back of your truck, you'd have a little gratitude. No loyalty in this world, we tell you....
Bill Belichick Is A Surly Dick
Michael Showalter is one of the minds behind The State and Stella and the writer and star of the films Wet Hot American Summer and The Baxter. We're a fan. He also, apparently, is a sports fan. To promote his new album Sandwiches And Cats, he's doing a pseudo tour of the various lousy blogs like our...
Dick Nolan, Rest In Peace
Before Ronnie Lott and Joe Montana and Jerry Rice, there was a plucky band of guys in shiny gold pants with names like John Brodie, Gene Washington and Cedrick Hardman. Many don't remember that it wasn't Bill Walsh who put the San Francisco 49ers on the map; it was Dick Nolan. He was the first coach...
Heat Find A Way To Suck Even In Victory
The Miami Heat hadn't won a game since April 13, and that includes this preseason. So when Jason Williams hit a jumper wirg 19 seconds remaining in the game to give them 75 points, it looked like another loss; the sixth straight of the regularseason. But no! The Knicks — God bless 'em — onloy scored...
Jeremy Roenick Doesn't Daydream; He's Too Busy Giving Other People Nightmares
• And I'm Not Even Counting The Wraparounds. Nineteen years after he scored his first NHL goal, Jeremy Roenick finally netted number 500 in the Sharks' 4-1 victory over the Coyotes. J.R. became just the third American-born player to reach 500 goals, and ranks 40th in goals and 44th in points on the ...