ick Page 622 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Viva Le Patterson!
After visiting four doctors in four states to cure a problem that could be affecting his livelihood, a man, desperate, decides to head to Canada to receive treatment that the arcane American health care system can't provide for him....

Ankiel's Gonna Sit A Few All-Star Plays Out
Forgive us, but it's time for a Rick Ankiel update....

Seriously, Would It Kill You To Sexually Arouse Dick Bavetta?
Isiah Thomas, after stealing Zach Randolph and being complimented by Spike Lee on draft night, enjoyed one day of good publicity. Today, Anucha Browne Sanders, who is suing Isiah for sexual harassment, would like to remind us that Isiah is, in many ways, still a dick....

Mark Cuban Is Suing Don Nelson For Knowing His Team
You know, it's possible that Mark Cuban isn't quite over his Mavericks' loss to the Warriors in the first round of the NBA Playoffs. How can we tell? Because he's actually suing Don Nelson for having "confidential information" and using it in the Warriors' victory. He's really doing this....

Nobody Cares About Your Fantasy Team
To keep the comments as fresh and outstanding as they've been up to this point, we've commissioned Commenting Guru Rob Iracane to write a bi-weekly Comment Ombudsman column. It runs every other week. This is that week....

You Are Up For Adoption
As Will told you yesterday, Weekend Daddy no longer wants custody of you. I've got this weekend, and one more. I had planned to just surprise everyone with my last post, and throw up a full-frontal picture of Jeff Reed's genitalia, but I guess that's not necessary now. Of course, it seems like it's ...

Humanity Prepares For The Terrible Reign Of Mr. And Mrs. Bubbles
What's coming up in the world of minor league baseball ... we proudly give you Rick Chandler's Minor Enterprise!...

Rick Ankiel Is Going To Be Here Any Minute Now
Oh, it's so close now, friends ... As you know, our serious, debilitating man crush on Rick Ankiel makes it nearly impossible for us to have even the slightest bit of perspective on him. Every time we think about him, we want to give him a Harold Reynolds. We still wear the jersey every time we play...

Finally, We Know Why Phil Mickelson Didn't Choose Football Or Rugby As His Profession
Phil Mickelson wasn't fortunate enough to make the cut at the U.S. Open this weekend, but it's just as well. Better he escape now with his life than stay through the weekend and endure such danger....

Hagerstown. That's How We Roll
What's coming up in the world of minor league baseball ... we proudly give you Rick Chandler's Minor Enterprise!...

Your Daily Michael Vick Update(s)
You know it has reached a bad place when there is so much going on you have to put all the new updates in bullet form......

Come See Rick Reilly Make Armpit Noises
We've encouraged you to come to the Varsity Letters Reading Series in New York before, but if you come to tonight's endeavor, you'll be in for a special treat. (Depending on how you define "special.") The headlining reader is Sports Illustrated columnist/stand-up comic Rick Reilly. (Donald Evans and...

When Every Match Is A Friendly
We don't claim to know a lot about soccer,* but we believe that the Romanians are really on to something here. Hoping to stamp out hooliganism at his matches, Steaua Bucharest owner Gigi Becali will from now on play only religious music at the team's home stadium. But that's not all....

Gary Sheffield Is Full Of Opinions
As we sift through the carnage of yet another Gary Sheffield interview — and the accompanying brilliant Dugout reaction — we take a look back at the quotable career of Gary Sheffield. 100 Percent Injury Rate has compiled some of Gary's greatest hits throughout the years. Here are a few of our favori...

Kick Satan Out Of Your Life With The Help Of The Indianapolis Indians
What's coming up in the world of minor league baseball ... we proudly present you with Rick Chandler's Minor Enterprise!...

You Can't Put A Price On A Lifetime Of Wisdom
We always support those who want to give back to the community and charitable organizations, particularly when that charitable donation involves spending an hour absorbing information directly from the brain of Isiah Thomas....

Michael Vick Has Bad Luck With Pets
Michael Vick, you bastard! You moved the headstones, but you didn't move the graves! You didn't move the graves!...

It Must Be Hard To Find A Reliable Source In Dogfighting
ESPN's "Outside the Lines" has an anonymous guy who was willing to tell tales of Michael Vick's dog fighting involvement. The man's a 30-year dog fighting veteran who's telling his tale in the hopes of legitimizing the "sport." He says of Vick:...

Small Cars Going In Circles, Because Peyton Manning Said They Could
The Indianapolis 500 is underway, and if the fact that I haven't mentioned until over an hour after it started seems to give an indication of my interest level in the race ... it probably does....

We Know Where Lassie Will Be This Weekend
What's coming up in the world of minor league baseball ... we proudly present you with Rick Chandler's Minor Enterprise!...