ick Page 623 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Elsewhere...
• College Basketball: Detroit 48, Louisville 56. "I'm not pleased with our improvement," Louisville head coach Rick Pitino said after the game. Hey, ya think? Meanwhile, this may be the best thing to happen to Detroit basketball since Dick Vitale left to take an NBA job in 1978. • Rugby: Stade Fra...

Setting The 1 o'clock Table...
• Pittsburgh @ Cleveland. Steelers QB Ben Roethlisberger makes an emotional return to Ohio, where he was only good enough in high school to be runner up for the title of Mr. Football in 1999. So if you you see Ben running around the field screaming, "Where's your Bam Childress NOW, bitches?" you'l...

Ricky Davis, Man Of Mystery
The Cleveland Plain-Dealer has an entertaining story today about athletes using fake names on the road. They have a fun anecodte about Drew Gooden, but the real fun comes with the sidebar, which lists the fake names some players have used. Some highlights:...

How 'Bout That Darrell Armstrong?!
We've always wondered what would happen if we ended up a semi-prominent public figure in, say, Chicago, or Iowa City, Iowa. As lifelong Cardinals and Illini boosters, it would be impossible for us to hide our loyalties; we couldn't pretend to root for the Cubs or the Hawkeyes even if our livelihoo...

How Could We Forget About Ron?
Last Friday, when we looked back at the month of April in our daily "Year In Review" segment, we made probably our biggest gaffe since starting this site: We, somehow, forgot to include Ron Mexico....

To Watch Tonight...
• NFL. Atlanta @ Chicago. If you'd like to watch a quality football game sometime over the next 36 hours, I suggest you enjoy this one. The Monday Night game is Baltimore vs. Green Bay. • NHL. San Jose @ Anaheim. It's always fun when Original Six teams go at it. Wait, San Jose and Anaheim weren't Or...

Giants Lead Chiefs At The Half
Thanks mainly to a goal-line stop of Larry Johnson, one of the worst defensive efforts you'll ever see by the Chiefs, a turnover late in the half, and a Jay Feely field goal attempt that was evidently influenced by divine intervention, the Giants lead the Chiefs 10-3 at halftime....

The Afternoon In College Hoops...
• #14 UCLA 68, Michigan 61. Jordan Farmar and Arron Afflalo both went over 20 for the Bruins, and Luc Richard Mbah a Moute, enemy of people who sew last names onto uniforms everywhere, had 9 rebounds off the bench. • Tennessee is currently throttling #7 Texas. I know it's only my second week doing...

Athlete Run-In: Nick The Quick Knows What Ladies Like
We've had a few protests over our upcoming hiatus from the athlete run-in stories. We're flattered that you like them so much, and we promise they will be back after the new year. We just don't want to rely on them, that's all. We're still taking your great ones at [email protected]. So send 'em o...

Nate Robinson, Naked Shower Jumper
We wouldn't have thought the Knicks locker room would resemble something from "Oz," but hey, when short hopper Nate Robinson is around, one never knows....

Athlete Run-In: The '72 Dolphins Get Even More Desperate
Today's first athlete run-in story is timely because it concerns a retired player on a team that's in the news right now: The 1972 Dolphins. You know, those guys who hang on to being the only undefeated team like they cured polio or something? Kind of a sad group. It therefore didn't surprise us t...

Merry Christmas, I Hate You
Deadspin weekend impresario calls it "the perfect gift for that special someone on your list that you'd like to see commit suicide," and, as usual, we couldn't put it any better....

Mark Cuban Would Like To Help You Wipe
Though this seems like more of a project for those crazy Maloof brothers in Sacramento, we nevertheless support Mavericks owner Mark Cuban's newest venture: An investment in toilet seat company "The Brondell Swash."...

Artest Requests Trade
Saying that he "causes too many problems" in Indiana, Ron Artest has asked Pacers management to trade him. New York is his stated preference....

An all-around ugly day for Texas
The black jerseys, the blowout against Duke... and it's probably not going to get better when Vince Young comes up short this evening. Sorry fellas. More poetry......

Hey, Mark? Fat Ankles Will Be The Least Of Her Problems
From the newest edition of Playboy magazine, via the New York Post:...

Don't Count Rickey Out Yet
So we spent most of the day yesterday wondering why ESPN was reporting that our beloved Rickey Henderson had retired, even though not a single other media outlet had picked it up and it wasn't on ESPN.com. They even did one of those generically rocking montages that ESPN does so well....

The Dulcet Tones Of Dirk Nowitzki
We'll confess: We're that dork that always has a novelty ringtone. We've gone from REO Speedwagon's "Can't Fight This Feeling" to the Illinois fight song to our current one, Europe's "The Final Countdown," inspired by Gob on "Arrested Development." We're lame that way. Forgive us....

Rock (Expletive) Jayhawk
Well, when your supposedly legendary franchise has started the season 2-3, you just lost at home to a team from the WAC and your head coach boss thinks he's actually fooling anyone with that toupee ... sometimes all that will leave you in a foul mood....

A Day In The Life Of The "New" Michael Irvin
Well, it's the day after Michael Irvin's endless string of mea culpas following his arrest on Friday, and if Irvin's appearances had anything in common, it was their high proportion of "mea" to "culpa." Let's look back at Irvin's trip through the ESPN empire:...