ill Page 705 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Rick Reilly: The New Henny Youngman
We know he wins Sportswriter of the Year all the time. We know he has some clever ideas from time to time, including that great "I'm in the car behind Lance Armstrong" thing from a couple of weeks ago. But when Sports Illustrated back-pager Rick Reilly mails it in, he's like worst Borscht belt co...
Gotcha!
We have been giggling all morning at Marlins third baseman Mike Lowell's successful execution of the hidden-ball trick last night; it's our favorite play in sports. We're hardly alone either. The great archivists at Retrosheet has a collection of all the great hidden-ball tricks of the past. And ...
Get Ready: Another 'Roid Name Is Coming
Orioles roid head — that's a new name we're trying out; great, ain't it? — Rafael Palmeiro is scheduled to return to the Orioles tomorrow after serving his 10-day suspension for steroids. But many observers aren't sure he'll come back at all; Congress is still investigating him, some of the Oriol...
The Mario Lopez Experience
We are just six days away from the next undignified gallop toward hipdom attempt by ESPN2, ESPN Hollywood, a show about how athletes and celebrity mix. (Yep.) We'll focus more on the show later, but right now we're gonna talk about co-host Mario Lopez....
About Last Night ...
What you missed when the Space Shuttle landed in your pool ... · Yankees' Rivera, who absolutely is not taking steroids and you can bet on that, gets 30th straight save. · Apparently Dolphins' Ricky Williams (5 carries, 8 yards) wasn't ready for some football. · A.J. Foyt OK after attack by swarm of...
Nothing Says Christmas Like A Good Blood Feud
God Bless The NBA. For the second consecutive year, commissioner David Stern and Co. have put together a Miami Heat-Los Angeles Lakers Christmas Day matchup, allowing broadcasters Al Michaels and Hubie Brown to look for significance in each sweat bead on Kobe Bryant's brow and each slight tilt to...
We Have To Ask ...
Suggested questions for today's ESPN SportsNation chatters · 10 a.m. Fantasy Baseball Focus: Does my Little League World Series Fantasy League make me a bad person? · Noon. MLB with Steve Phillips: If you had any real insight, wouldn't you still be employed by the Mets? · 1 p.m. College Football wit...
Bill Simmons Nails Boston Smugness Cold
The first sentence of Our Boy Bill Simmons' column this week is a perfect illustration of why everyone in the sports world wants to strangle everyone from Boston:...
Yard Work Upgrades, Eviscerates Peter King
Congrats to the wacky folks at Yard Work, who have revamped their site with a shiny new URL and an archive that could judiciously be called "improved." They blast off the new site with a pretty biting satire of Peter King's Monday Morning Quarterback column, which begins with a pretty fantastic im...
Mistakes At Si.com
Interesting note on SI.com right now. On Michael Silver's column is the following rejoiner:...
Schilling's Late Night At The ESPYs
There are all kinds of reasons to not get enough rest before a baseball game in which you are required to perform. Maybe you had a crying baby who woke up at inconvenient hours. Perhaps you're jetlagged from an overnighter to Colombia. It's possible that you just, lo, spent a little too much time ...
Simmons Impersonators Getting Downright Creepy
The folks at Yard Work are getting so good at impersonating ESPN columnists that, honestly, you just can't tell the difference anymore....
The Bill Simmons Backlash Continues
We thought we were the only ones making fun of ESPN bad boy Bill Simmons, but apparently not: The Sports Frog weighs in with a devastating missive at Big Bill's column about Clippers forward Bobby Simmons that ran yesterday....
Bill Simmons Translator: Bill Swoons, Fawns
Whoa! A bonus Bill Simmons column, from the magazine this time. It's all Bill, all the time over here today; we're like The Sports Gal today, except we don't have to go to sleep wondering if we're gonna have to wake up in the middle of the night to take care of one of Bill's nosebleeds. It's Bill ...
More Cartoon Hilarity From Bill Simmons
Sometimes we wonder if our boy Bill writes the scripts for these things on a cocktail napkin while watching mid-'70s Celtics highlights on a treadmill. Here's this week's cartoon fun:...
Bill Simmons Picks His Own Greatest Hits
With tonight's NBA Draft just about five hours away, our main man Bill Simmons clocks in with the50 greatest moments in NBA Draft history. Of course, that's not really what it is; what it really is is a collection of Bill's favorite one-liners from all his draft diaries. One imagines Bill staying...
The Bizarro Bill Simmons
From the great Yard Work satirical blog, here's an imaginary (but just barely) selection from Bill Simmons' mailbag:...
Bill Simmons Translator: We Were Little, Swarthy People. No, Really
ESPN Page 2 columnist/national movement Bill Simmons has filed an unusually brief missive about last night's Game 7. You know what that means: It's time for The Bill Simmons Translator!...
Bill Simmons Translator: He Loved "The The!"
Now that ESPN Serious Journalist Bill Simmons has gotten pretty much every single prediction of the NBA Finals completely wrong, we thought we'd check in with him after last night's Game 6 with ... yes ... The Bill Simmons Translator!...
Ricky Williams Slinks Back Into Town
We still can't quite believe running stoner Ricky Williams is really going to play this year. This guy quit football to smoke pot — and hey, we're not gonna mock him for that; the only difference between him and a lot of our friends is that he actually had a job to quit — and left all his teammate...