ill Page 713 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Signs, Signs, Everywhere Signs
It does seem like this has been happening a lot of late: The Buffalo Bills a couple of weeks ago didn't allow several fans to bring their anti-management signs into Ralph Wilson Stadium, threatening them with ejection if they didn't throw the sign away. The Associated Press interviews Mike Allenba...

Elsewhere...
• College Basketball: Detroit 48, Louisville 56. "I'm not pleased with our improvement," Louisville head coach Rick Pitino said after the game. Hey, ya think? Meanwhile, this may be the best thing to happen to Detroit basketball since Dick Vitale left to take an NBA job in 1978. • Rugby: Stade Fra...

Tuna About To Spoil?
ESPN's Chris Mortensen reported this morning that Cowboys head coach Bill Parcells is considering retiring at the conclusion of this year. Cowboys owner Jerry Jones is pushing him to sign an extension, but the death of Parcells' brother a few weeks ago has him thinking retirement, according to Mor...

The AFC Wildcard Picture
Pittsburgh, Jacksonville, San Diego and Kansas City are all still slugging it out for the two wildcart spots in the AFC. Only two of them are going to make it, which is kind of a shame since each of them, with the possible exception of Jacksonville, are probably better than all but one team in the...

Setting The 1 o'clock Table...
• Pittsburgh @ Cleveland. Steelers QB Ben Roethlisberger makes an emotional return to Ohio, where he was only good enough in high school to be runner up for the title of Mr. Football in 1999. So if you you see Ben running around the field screaming, "Where's your Bam Childress NOW, bitches?" you'l...

End Of Days For Quin Snyder
Well, OK, we're back in brittle, frighteningly cold South Central Illinois right now — where, unlike, New York, we at least didn't have to walk to work — and we watched that Illini destruction of Missouri last night. It was so brutal that we took less joy in the victory than sympathy for Missouri,...

Back Home For Braggin' Rights
Every family has its tradition over the holidays, and this is ours: We go back to our hometown of Mattoon, Illinois to watch the annual Busch Braggin' Rights college basketball game between our beloved Illini and the Missouri Tigers. It might seem silly to those weaned on the opposite coasts, but ...

It's A White Christmas In Sports
The yearly report from SportsBusiness Journal on the 50 Most Powerful People In Sports Business is out, and, like the rest of on-field sports, it's almost all white people! Who can forget that classic Brian Scalabrine-Fred Hoiberg battle last night? Someday one of those guys is gonna dunk!...

Chris Kaman: Even Weirder Than You Think
We've given the Los Angeles Times' Bill Plaschke his fair share of grief, but we must give credit where it is due: His column yesterday on bizarro Clippers center Chris Kaman is pretty outstanding stuff. We might even go so far as to call ourselves tickled....

The Vikings Meet The Seventh Floor Crew
Sometimes, someone comes up with a concept that's so perfectly in our sweet spot that we can merely stand up and salute, and that's really saying something, because we spend the whole day on our ass....

The Mind Of The Kentucky Fan
It's noon on a Saturday, you're a junior at the University of Kentucky and the game starts in two hours. You'll be close enough to the court that, if you hit just the right point, you could be on the TV. It's time to make your voice heard by the masses. But what to say? What to say?...

The Only Real Way For Millen To Survive
As our weekend cohort The Mighty MJD pointed out yesterday, the "Fire Millen" bandwagon in Detroit yesterday — the organized protest by Lions "fans" to get rid of long miserable team president Matt Millen — has reached critical mass; it's so big now that Rasheed Wallace is on board. Not only is Fi...

NFL Roundup: Sad Colts, Happy Bolts
• We'll confess, we were actually kind of rooting for the Colts not to finish 16-0. Not because we have anything against them — we don't, save for maybe a suspicion that Edgerrin James did a guest spot on the seventh floor crew — but because we will never have faith in Tony Dungy and Peyton Chessn...

FIRE MILLEN
Sorry about the headline, I just felt left out. Everyone else is chanting it or holding a sign. I wanted to join the parade....

Your Takes On The Sex Boat Wrapup
We love doing this site, but, to be honest, what we might love the most are you, the readers. Your comments are the highlights of our days, and not just because you're funnier than we are. We thought we'd take this opportunity to showcase our personal favorite slices of hilarity from today's earli...

The Full Report On The Sex Boat
So, hey, anybody else actually dug into these whole Vikings criminal complaints, the ones The Smoking Gun grabbed? If you haven't yet, we suggest you do, because it's even more entertaining than you thought. But, we understand, you're very busy at work today. So allow us to help you out. We've dug...

Watch Your Back In Park City
On the list of Stories We'd Rather Not Report But Have To Anyway, we point out that Utah Jazz point guard — and University of Illinois legend — Deron Williams was arrested (along with another, more anonymous, rookie) over the weekend for giving false information to police. Apparently, there was a ...

Sources: Roy S. Johnson Leaving SI
All kinds of job cuts happening at Time Inc. today — because it's not just important to make gobs of money; you must make gobs and gobs of money — and our fine friends at Sports Illustrated were not spared, it seems....

Choose Bill Simmons' Next Move
We've been accused, in polite circles, of being too nice to Our Boy Bill Simmons and, in not-so-polite ones, of "kissing his ass." We don't quite understand this; we make fun of Simmons as much as any non-"Cold Pizza" employee. We think it's because the rest of the Web has made it a mission, it se...

Athlete Run-In: Bill Wennington Should Duck Better
Today's first athlete run-in story involves a member of those famed late '90s Chicago Bulls juggernauts ... Bill Wennington! OK, maybe he's no Scottie Pippen, but hey, anything about that team that doesn't involve Jordan or Rodman gets us fired up. From Chris in Dallas:...