in Page 4025 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The Last Night Of The Chief
Last night, as tons of teary-eyed Central Illinoisians will tell you this morning, was the final dance of Chief Illiniwek, the skipping, painted white-guy-dressed-up-as-Injun who has "performed" at halftime of our alma mater's sporting events for the last 80 years or so. Like most alums — or at leas...
Jim Sorgi Is Willing To Scrounge For Endorsement Opportunities
Indianapolis Colts backup quarterback Jim Sorgi — he of the crushed larynx and perpetual clipboard — apparently has a stiled, if bemused, sense of himself: He is actually applying to be the Maytag repairman spokesperson....
Moon Over Mormon Country
Here's the word from the official USC ice hockey site, which was on the scene as the Trojans ended their season with a 6-4 loss in the ACHA playoffs to BYU this past weekend:...
Bearcats Football Trying Out The Eight-Man Weave
You know, when you're talking group sex, you're obviously talking about Ohio. This is something the Cincinnati Bearcats like to call "an eight-on-one drill."...
Eventually, The Running Man Will Become Reality
You know, with the freakshow that boxing has become and probably always was, that it was inevitable: ESPN is reporting that Tommy Morrison, the former "Rocky V" boxer who has HIV, will be fighting Thursday night....
No, Really, Your Testimony Was Quite Pleasant
Sorry, all you CourtTV legal eagles desperate for a fixin' of Charlie Weis gastric bypass surgery malpractice goodness: The whole rigmarole has been declared a mistrial....
Hey, Ronaldinho, Why The Long Face?
This is pretty much what you think it is: A "full-size" sculpture of Brazilian soccer star Ronaldinho ... as a regal white horse. It's currently up for bid on eBay, and the price is right too: Only $25,000! (With $2,500 more to ship.)...
Goodbye, Playmaker
As The Mighty MJD mentioned yesterday, it's official: Michael Irvin is out at ESPN. We're not sure what more we can say about this; we're so sad to see him go, even if the beleaguered closed captioning typists over there don't feel the same way....
Gilbert Arenas Is Playing Russian Roulette With His ACL
As always, the greatest moments of All-Star Weekend happen when the "game" isn't actually on, and The 700 Level found perhaps the best one. During a commercial break, Gilbert Arenas — of course — decided to satisfy a lifelong curiosity and, playing along with the "entertainment," dunked off a trampo...
The Bunnies Are Not To Be Dunked On, Nate Robinson
I called Nate Robinson "annoying" earlier, but I may have been hasty in my judgment. From the Las Vegas Review Journal, via The FanHouse, comes this report of a dunk that Nate had planned for last night's contest....
Requiem For The Playmaker
As you've probably heard by now — in fact, it's the reason you've been holding a candlelight vigil — Michael Irvin has been let go from ESPN. Perhaps surprisingly, It's not for any scandalous reasons... his contract was up, and ESPN opted not to renew it. The Playmaker's stay at ESPN, just like that...
Week In Review: An Elephant Attacks A Car
• Goodbye, Mr. Schottenheimer. • We do love ourselves some dog show. • This video is what we thought it was, and so much more. • Fat man dancing! Woo! • Jamar Smith is about to go the way of Chief Illiniwek. • It's always fun to play with Craig's List. • Now your "conversations" are with the Associa...
Could We Be In Danger Of Losing Michael Irvin?
The New York Post, which is never ever wrong, tosses out some potentially fun Michael Irvin/ESPN gossip this morning....
If Jesus Came Back And Saw What's Going On In His Name, He'd Never Stop Throwing Up
A week ago we bought a rifle ... we went to the store, and we bought a rifle! We were gonna, you know, if they told us we had a tumor, we were gonna kill ourselves. The only thing that might have have stopped us is that our parents would be devastated. So, you know, we would have had to shoot them a...
Champaign's Long National Nightmare Is Over
As an old lifer at the Daily Illini, no story was less fun to talk about than Chief Illiniwek. We once had our own personal take on the embattled "symbol" of the University of Illinois, but we don't even remember what it was anymore: It was talked about every day, in the most banal and "emotional" t...
You, Too, Can Have Your Own Boca Juniors Booster
So here's a grand idea: The notoriously rabid fans of Buenos Aires soccer team Boca Juniors are so renowned for their insane support that they're actually renting themselves out to other countries' teams....
Who's Sorry Now? Naked Hi-Jinx Edition
Simply put, we can think of no more embarrassing yet hilarious opening line to a letter than this:...
Trying To Understand The Illini Car Crash
Now that Illini center Brian Carlwell's condition after Monday's accident in a car driven by teammate Jamar Smith has been upgraded to "fair," we think it's probably OK to look at some of the more bizarre aspects to the crash....
Hey, How Come All We Got Was A Team Ghana Keychain?
German hospitals are reporting a huge upsurge in maternity reservations for the month of April, which happens to be nine months after the 2006 World Cup was hosted in that country. Give us a minute while we figure out what's going on....
Pre-Order Your Barbaro Books Now!
We are less than two weeks away from the release of the most-anticipated literary venture into the mind of a horse since Seabiscuit, or at least Sex And The City. It's Barbaro: A Nation's Love Affair, which, fortunately, is only a metaphorical love affair....