in Page 4035 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Week In Review: Don't Cry For Us, Leather
• We returned from vacation and are still completely bewildered. (And without our luggage.) • See ya, Chin. • Javon Walker was awfully close to Darrent Williams. Literally. • Jim Lampley will knock you around a bit. • You should always believe Nick Saban. • Mr. Daulerio is headed to the Super Bowl...
Psst, Kid. How Would You Like To Skip Those Burpees?
The plot for the next Harry Potter movie has been leaked, and we've got it: All hell breaks loose at Hogwarts when new instructor Tamara Tootle is caught taking bribes from students to skip PE. No, wait ... that's real, actually....
You Were Butt-Naked On A Zebra Last Month
Richard said, "The next time the motherfucker call, tell him I said, "Suck my dick." I don't give a fuck. Whatever the fuck make the people laugh, say that shit. Do the people laugh when you say what you say?" We said, "Yes." He said, "Do you get paid?" We said, "Yes." He said, "Well, tell Bill I sa...
NBA Roundup: We Welcome Our Dallas Mavericks Overlords
Notes from Thursday's games in the National Basketball Association ......
Playoff Pants Party: Colts Vs. Chiefs
Because we're just now back and getting around to previewing these playoff matchups — jeez, we missed the whole playoff picture clearing up; we were gone longer than we realized — we thought we'd toss in one of these playoff previews today so the site isn't run over with them tomorrow....
It's An Amazing Elusive And Powerful Back Who Doesn't Kill Ex-Wives And Waiters
We always found it strange that people were considering anyone other than Chargers running back LaDainian Tomlinson for the MVP this year; we like Drew Brees as much as anyone — including his mother, of course — but we couldn't imagine not giving it to Tomlinson....
The Royal We Is Back, And So Are We
If you were wondering what a man looks like after a 12 1/2-hour flight from Buenos Aires, Argentina to Santiago, Chile, to Toronto to New York City — particularly when his luggage is still in Toronto, presumably being delivered by mounties this evening — this is what he looks like: Haggard, but full...
CBS SportsLine Discovers The Barbaro Message Board
Displaying the same keen journalistic instincts that brought the world Spin on Sports, CBS SportsLine did some real digging over the holidays and discovered that, apparently, some middle-aged women are e-mailing Barbaro....
Take Me Home, Country Load
There isn't a lede in the world that could possibly do this Georgia Tech fan's Gator Bowl experience any justice, so I'll just go right to the recap:...
Tiger Mauls Helpless Leprechaun As Charlie Weis Looks On And Does Nothing
We are happy to report that the Sugar Bowl was one of several games available on iTunes this year, so we hope all of you Notre Dame fans took advantage of that. Just the thing to view over and over again during church. After LSU's 41-14 win Wednesday night — the Irish's ninth straight bowl defeat ...
Good Morning: And Did You Rush to the Phone to Call?
Morning again, Spinheads. Let's start off our last few hours together by acknowledging some of the things I missed yesterday from the Department of Batshittery — only because I was too preoccupied with Song Girl pooper:...
Farewell, Charlotte Sting
One of the WNBA's first franchises hasn't found a buyer since its owner/ operator, the Charlotte Bobcats, gave up control over the team on Dec. 13th and now, the long-legged ladies of North Carolina will no longer have a professional team to call their own. Michael Jordan=Franchise killer....
Matt Leinart Nurses Ailing Shoulder with Glute Pinching Exercises
Rumors are swirling about Arizona Cardinals quarterback Matt Leinart's ailing shoulder, and whether or not said shoulder should be put under such duress as it must have been while allegedly throwing Britney Spears all over the place last weekend and playing Redbirds Grabass with many an ususpecti...
Now Boarding The Arizona Cardinals Plane ... Pete Carroll?
Our fearless leader Will Leitch is on vacation for one more day, which means that we can speculate rampantly on the next Arizona Cardinals head coach without fear of nail gun puncture wounds. May we say right at the outset, Steve Mariucci? Ha, that felt good....
K-Fed Will Totally Kick Your Ass, Bitches
When our chimp-like ancestors first descended from the trees and began walking upright about 6 million years ago, little did they know that it would lead to this. You should have warned us, Charles Darwin. Damn you to hell!...
And Nick Saban is....Heading to Tuscaloosa
Miami Dolphins head coach Nick Saban has decided to walk away from the pro game and head to the University of Alabama . Saban, who was offered somewhere in the ballpark of a 25 year, $98 kajillion deal from the Crimson Tide, will no longer be part of the Miami Dolphins rejuvenation program....
Good Morning: Hold Everything You Love...Deadspin Returns to the Super Bowl
Greetings, Spinheads. Today's our final day together, and before we break out the huffing supplies and begin a rousing game of alligator fuckhouse, I have a quick announcement: I'd like to let all parties in the Miami area know that I've once again been permitted to display my on-the-scene reporting...
It's The Arizona Cardinals Plane! Perfectly Safe! All Aboard, Everyone!
Wouldn't it be slightly hilarious if Denny Green shows up at the Phoenix airport today, and this is the only plane out? Since Mr. Leitch is still on vacation, it's up to us to make sense of this news release from our new friends at US Airways....
NBA Roundup: Leather, Version 2.0
Notes from Monday's games in the Natonal Basketball Association ......
Alabama Just Won't Give Up On The Nick Saban Thing
Miami Dolphins head coach Nick Saban could be the recipient of a $40 million offer, including $7 million in a signing bonus, from Alabama. That's what the Miami Herald was reporting last night on their website. The offer would make him the highest-paid college coach in the history of the world, an...