in Page 4062 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
It's A General Manager Blood Feud!
We don't mean to imply that when you're screwed over by Washington Nationals GM Jim Bowden, it might be time to re-evaluate one's career choices, but ......
Beware The Power Of Carl Monday
So you know how yesterday was supposed to be Carl Monday Day for the Dunedin Blue Jays? Well, it turned out the game was postponed, but not because of the rain storms that hit the area. Nope, it's something much more ominous....
"Interests: Redskins, Clubs And GETTIN' DRUNK"
It just wouldn't be the NFL without some truly obsessed, frightening fans, and we've got some pretty worthy ones in the Dead Tree Crew, backers of the Washington Redskins and almost certainly the type of guys who beat up Daniel Snyder in high school....
The Contest Results Are In
It's something the sight of which caused Mrs. Costanza to stumble and throw out her back, and truthfully, if she had seen this, it would have killed her. The 2006 Masturbate-a-thon is now in the record books, as approximately 50 participants — mostly men, and not including Mike Cooper — "dragged t...
Set Tasers To, Uh, Taze? Tase?
Off the Baggie brings up something we've been noticing as well: It sure does seem like lots of athletes are getting tasered lately....
You Got Neil Rackers, Yo
All right, so we know this isn't real, and we know it's just an NFL promotional video (for a product we don't use; we prefer Yahoo for our all fantasy games, to be honest with you), but we still could not resist....
At This Point, They Should Probably Just Have A Lockup Near Camp
What more can we tell you: Another Bengal got arrested. This time it was Bootsy Collins favoite left guard Eric Steinbach, who was arrested for operating a boat under the influence on Saturday night. He was, in fact, in the water at the time, though we admit it would be funnier if he weren't. He i...
Go Toward The Light, Emmitt
You thought that finishing his career flat on the turf of Sun Devil Stadium was the most embarassing final image of all-time rushing champ Emmitt Smith one could come up with....
Hope Your Mustaches Are All Grown
So, hey, if you happen to be in the Dunedin, Fla. area tonight, it's the first of those big fun Dunedin Blue Jays promotions inspired by this here Web site. Tonight's festivities: Carl Monday Mustache Night. It's becoming increasingly easy to get in for a reduced $3 admission....
Your Hollywood Minute
There's crazy, and then there's that special brand of crazy that is Reds pitcher Bronson Arroyo. What would you do if you were a major league pitcher going for your 10th win of the season, as Arroyo will be doing on Thursday? Why, you'd dedicate the win to actress Bo Derek, naturally. Because she wa...
The Most Famous Buzzsaw Cheerleader
So here's the best story we've heard all day, even though it's only new to us. If any of you out there, like us, religiously watch "The Office" — we even watch the repeats — you're familiar with Phyllis, the portly saleswoman who knits and is happy in love with Bob Vance, Vance Refrigeration....
Horseshoes Should Be Outlawed
"Man's Buttocks Impaled By Horseshoe Stake" is not the sort of headline that you ever want to see. Well, unless you're a gay man, and your given name is "Horseshoe Stake." But I think that's the case for less than 10% of you. Because I don't think I'm capable of putting it into my own words withou...
The B Sample Cannot Save Floyd
Floyd Landis's fall from grace appears to be complete. They finally got around to testing his B sample this morning, and - surprise, surprise - it was as tainted as a Paris Hilton pap smear. It's a little sad, but to be honest, it's probably more fun for American sports fans to have another doper to...
Week In Deadspin: We Miss The Chorizo Already
• You bring us the chorizo, and then you take it away. Do not tease us with your chorizo. • Whither the white wide receiver. • Interesting strategy to sell video games. • Mike Tirico would rather you not bring this up again. • Here is what is inside Bobby Abreu's head. • Smell Jeter! • If Simmons ...
Booyakasha!
America national sport is called baseballs. It very similar to our sport, shurik, where we take dogs, shoot them in a field, and then have a party....
Gentlemen, Start Your Wanking
Right now Carl Monday is snapping down the protective visor on his riot helmet, scrambling into the back of the WKYC Action News van and yelling "Let's roll!" Yes, the big Masturbate-A-Thon is tomorrow,* which, if you live in Europe, still leaves you plenty of time to get to Drop Studios in London...
Finally Making Some Money Off Southeast Jerome
Fully capitalizing on something it stumbled across last season, the official Redskins site Redskins.com is now selling T-shirts adorned with every Clinton Portis character from his press conferences last year. Those who were with us last season will remember our schoolgirl crush on Portis, particu...
"You Want Me To Do That With You?"
The mad geniuses at Free Darko aren't taking the summer off: They're finding absolute gems like this video, which features Timberwolves superstar Kevin Garnett gets his Bob Harris on while visiting an Asian television show....
God, Training Camp Is So Disgusting
Far be it from us to tell any football team how to run their business, particularly during the big petri dish of sweat and blood and all kinds of other disgusting things in the midst of training camp, but we suspect a new policy the 'Skins have put into place might have been worthwhile to institut...
Yao Ming's Big, Big Stand
Houston Rockets center Yao Ming doesn't just spend his offseasons taking a stroll or two around the track. He also spends it saving elephants by swatting away bullets heading toward them directly out of the air. See, he's not just tall; he's made of some sort of indestructible material....