in Page 4062 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Stanley Pringle: Jackin' It
You know, it's really annoying when athletes-masturbating-in-libraries stories break in the evening and we have to wait until morning to write about them. If we can't be your leader in library masturbation coverage, we're not sure what our point is....
A New Approach On How To Get Out Of Those Pesky DUIs
Most of us have probably made the ridiculously stupid decision to drink and drive at some point in our lives. Some of us may have even been pulled over, which makes the stupid decision become an expensive and humiliating one. (Here's a tip: Refuse the breathalzyer.) But even if those circumstances d...
Make Shea Rock Slightly Harder This Year
Right now, you can vote for the song that the Mets should play during the eighth-inning singalong at Shea this year. The choices are as boring as you'd expect: "Brown Eyed Girl," "Sweet Caroline," ... jeez, is that the theme song from "Friends?" Ack!...
Rent Dennis Rodman For All Your Parties And Bar Mitzvahs
Anyone who discovered our little site here in the last two years — as opposed to being one of those sorry souls who were here at the very beginning — might not know about Darren Prince. Prince, famously, is Dennis Rodman's lawyer, who took exception with our coverage of Rodman's first book signing, ...
Larry King's Temper Rears Its Ugly Shoulder Blades
CNN's venerable talk show host Larry King may not have any trouble conversing with some of the world's most famous people or constructing a brilliant turn-of-phrase, but he does have some trouble controlling himself when umpires start ruining his young son's Little League games....
Obama Really Just Wants To Be Dr. J
A couple of weeks ago, Barack Obama appeared on Philadelphia's 610 WIP sports radio station and made a somewhat controversial statement about his grandmother being a "typical white person," which got everybody all fired up. (Ironically? Most of them were typical white people.)...
Media Approval Ratings: Mike Lupica
We've noticed lately, during our daily readings of the New York Daily News, that Mike Lupica is writing as much about politics as he is about sports. It makes sense; why can't blowing-with-the-wind "conventional wisdom" apply as well to Hillary Clinton as it does to Jason Giambi?...
John Daly Gets Boobs Jiggled, Twisted
Here’s John Daly, at the Shell Houston Open driving range receiving both a back massage and what appears to be an impromptu gynecomastia check-up from one python-armed assistant....
Is The Indiana Job Really That Great Of A Gig?
As an Illini fan eager to hammer Indiana at every opportunity, we must admit that we can't find much to mock about the hiring of Tom Crean. The guy's a respected coach, a solid citizen and has a funny name. No arguments there. Except ... why the heck is he leaving Marquette for Indiana?...
Finally, Massholes Have Something to Celebrate
As we wait for the Final Four to finally kick off on Saturday, the gang at Storming the Floor are amusing themselves with the championship-like substance contained in the NIT and CBI post-season tournaments....
Stuart Scott Obviously Feels Better
Wow, that "ESPN the Weekend" sure looks like it was fun. Here's Stuart Scott getting all Chuck D on the karaoke mic with proper S1W accompaniment by Charles Barkley playing the role of Flavor Flav and, hmm, Mr. Belding from "Saved By The Bell" obviously filling Professor Griff's giant shoes....
Pedro Hears A Pop
You didn't think Mets fans were going to stay happy and optimistic about the season very long, did you? Pedro Martinez pulled/tore/yoinked his hamstring/tendon/groin/anal fissure and very well might miss a few weeks. As if just to rub it in, new reliever Matt Wise gave up a walk-off homer to Robert ...
Matt Leinart Should Just Grow Up Already
... So says annoyed Arizona Republic columnist Dan Bickley, who suggests that the Cardinals' quarterback of the present (and, "the future", allegedly) is just dancing a little bit too closely with Mr. Poonstone for his own taste. Bickley trots out every worst-case scenario Leinart should have consi...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch while listening to The Sword bring much rock. All will fall! • Women's NCAA Elite Eight: Tennessee vs. Texas A&M, Connecticut vs. Rutgers. Winning teams get free trip to Bristol ... and sanctions! ESPN 7 p.m. • NIT Semifinals, Madison Square Garden: Florida vs. Massachusetts, Mississip...
The Deer Penis Diaries
Bad news for chronic deer penis ingesters planning on participating in the Beijing Olympics — you'll have to find something else to help you win a gold medal this year. Yes, deer penis and all sorts of other crazy Chinese voodoo medicines have officially been put on the no-no list by the Beijing IOC...
Roy Williams' Cute Attempt At A Freakout, Remembered
With the North Carolina-Kansas game just a few days away, we remind you of truly one of our favorite college basketball interview moments of all time....
She Has Yadier's Ass and Bengie's Hips
Are you a moderately attractive female baseball fan who loves her pink jersey, but dreams of a newer, sluttier look for your drunken summer afternoons in the bleachers? If so, then you should probably send me pictures of yourself in various stages of undress take note of Joe Sports Fan's rather bod...
Obviously, Tom Gordon Didn't Get His Balls Blessed
Yesterday morning, right in front of the Mike Schmidt statue at Citizens Bank Park, the Philadelphia Phillies had their balls blessed by a priest, a rabbi and a pastor with the hopes of giving 2007's team to beat an extra boost of godliness to kick off 2008. Well, God was napping yesterday, as the P...
Meet The Future Mrs. Andy Roddick
This little lassie just got herself engaged to Andy Roddick (the one on the left.) Her name is Brooklyn Decker, a 20-year-old Sports Illustrated swimsuit exhibitionist, who's been dating Mr. Roddick for a little over a year now. Decker and the former Mr. Mandy Moore met in New York last year, where ...