in Page 4066 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

It Just Keeps Giving
I'm afraid I gave you only part of the story with the earlier Mike Cooper post. Carl Monday has gotten himself involved again, and where there's Carl Monday, there's more story....

Mike Cooper Avoids Jail Time; Prison Showers
The sentence has come down, once again, courtesy of our man Jimbo. Mike Cooper, he of library-masturbating fame, was found guilty, and was fined $150 plus court costs. That's it. Bail was $500,000, and the fine is $150. All is well that ends well, I suppose. Who among us hasn't paid $150 for an or...

Week In Deadspin: Sexagenarians, Headbutts And Bears, Oh My!
• Get this folks: Danica Patrick needs to occasionally use a tampon! No way! • MIke Cooper is sentenced and Deadspin is THERE! • Sigh. Another Rocky movie. • Hey, rugby players have to pee too! • Rick Chandler is having tons of fun in Tahoe. • Zinedine Zidane had a somewhat busy week. • It's your ...

The Mike Cooper Sentencing ... You Are There!
Well, the Mike Cooper sentencing is over, and our man Jimbo was, indeed, there. We're still not sure precisely what Cooper's sentence was — Jimbo didn't make it that far into the proceedings — but he was there, and he even captured Cooper and his parents on his camera phone ... kind of....

An Empty Desk Is An Efficient Desk!
Mistakes? We don't make mistakes. So, this is your receipt for your husband, and this is our receipt for your receipt....

Reds Fans Not Handling Kearns Trade Well
The first big trade of the baseball season went down yesterday, and, to just from the popular reaction, you'd think the Washington Nationals were in wild-card contention and the Cincinnati Reds were selling off. The Reds traded Austin Kearns and Felipe Lopez, two of their best young hitters, for a...

Ow! My Spine!
Our first edition of Minor Enterprise — a preview of minor league baseball events and promotions — was somewhat incomplete, as it turns out. Our spies did not inform us that the Sioux Falls Canaries were planning on suiting up an 83-year-old player on Wednesday. Jim Eriotes, a Chicago native who i...

Thank God Mr. T Didn't Live To See This
When it comes to boxing, you just can't beat the combination of dimwitted, old and slow. Because it's Fun With Old People Day here, we would be remiss if we didn't remind you that the trailer for Rocky VI is out. In this one, Rocky leads a group of seniors who want to prevent network executives from...

Ichiro Continues To Lose It A Bit
Ichiro Suzuki has been acting more erratically the last few years, we've noticed, coinciding almost directly with the Mariners' struggles the last few years. But in an interview Monday, Ichiro might have lost it a little while discussing the team's difficulties....

Bowling's Watergate Has Nation On Edge
We've become accustomed to cheating in baseball and soccer; but when the purity of bowling is questioned, is there any hope for mankind? Dear God, it must be a mistake. Not bowling! Our story so far: Robert Mushtare, 17, of Carthage, N.Y., recently rolled two perfect 900 series and 12 perfect game...

Second Half Preview: National League
Since it's the day after the All-Star Game, otherwise known as one of the worst sports days of the year — we still can't quite believe there's no baseball tonight — we thought we'd solicit everyone's thoughts on the second half of the baseball season. And since it's fun to tell the Web site people h...

Minor Enterprise: Whacking Day In Dunedin, Florida
Welcome to Minor Enterprise, where we preview, and occasionally review, the great events of minor league baseball. Each Wednesday we'll take a look at the promotions, players and mascots which populate our minor league ballparks; the unsung heroes of our national pastime. (Minor Enterprise not res...

No Idea Where Zidane Might Have Gotten His Temper From
In a time of heated rhetoric, political grandstanding and continued confusion on the facts, we looked forward to an interview with Zinedine Zidane's ailing mother. Perhaps the woman would provide us with some much-need perspective, give everyone a chance to just cool down and realize that it's jus...

Quick! Time To Save Barbaro Again!
Apparently, there aren't enough children writing letters: Barbaro is in serious trouble....

Marco Materazzi Is Apparently A Total Moron
As far as defenses against accusations of making racist remarks go, we have to say, Italian player Marco Materazzi has a particularly good one after being notoriously head-butted by Zinedine Zidane....

The Diligent Fact-Checking Of Sports Radio
Dan Serafini was a journeyman pitcher in the late '90s, not doing much to distinguish himself, save for maybe being traded for Brandon Pernell. (Note: Brandon Pernell is no one of note.) But a Cubs fan looking to muse on all matters bloggish decided to name his site Serafini Says, because he used ...

Ride, Jesse, Ride
We had a crazy, fantastical dream last night. In our fevered slumber, we dreamed that the Rev. Jesse Jackson had teamed with the former agent to Dennis Rodman to represent The Jockeys' Guild. Thats what we get for eating Laotain food just before bedtime. Thankfully, we got a good night's rest, and...

Dr. Z Is Mad As Hell (Again)
We'll get into an update of all the fun Zinedine Zidane theories a little later today, but we wanted to pause to take a look at Paul Zimmerman's column for SI.com yesterday. We have no shame about this: We love Paul Zimmerman. We know he's old, we know he's cranky, we know he probably spends most ...

Your Last Zidane Roundup
In case you haven't exhausted your Zinedine Zidane animated GIF quotient for the day, here's a compendium of some of our favorite ones; the Butterfinger one is still the best. And if you like your moving online stuff to be interactive, here's a game that allows you to collect Zidane red cards. Oh, a...

Some Things, Ron Artest Shouldn't Joke About
Temporarily sane Sacramento forward Ron Artest gave an interview to the Sacramento Bee over the weekend that covered his future with the team, his dogs and Donald Trump. But the most frightening section came from when Artest was asked about whether or not Bonzi Wells will return to the team next y...