ink Page 67 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Kevin Kolb Hurt Himself At Practice By Slipping On A Rubber Mat
Oh, Kevin Kolb. A stupid rubber mat might be the catalyst that gives E.J. Manuel the starting quarterback job over you....

How To Drink At Weddings Without Making An Ass Of Yourself
I'm going to a wedding in Delaware in a few weeks, because aren't we all. I was very excited about this adventure when I thought Delaware was in the South—I've never been to the South—but it turns out Delaware's just off to the right of Maryland. So now I'm merely regular excited, because even thoug...

Dead Wrestler Of The Week: “Maniac” Matt Borne, AKA Doink The Clown
When Matt Osborne died on Friday, the news rang out far and wide. Fox Sports: "Report: Doink the Clown dead at 56." TMZ: "Doink the Clown Pro Wrestler Dies at 55." New York Daily News: "Ex-WWE wrestler Doink the Clown dead at 55." The implication was that the role had overtaken its actor. As this s...

36 Cheap American Beers, Ranked
I realize you're going to spend Independence Day happily drinking whatever cold beer you're served, because you're polite and you're an alcoholic. And I trust you'll have a fine old time no matter what you drink. But that doesn't mean America's shitbrews are all the same. The list below breaks down...

The Greatest Doink The Clown Story Ever
Former wrestler Matt Osborne—aka Doink the Clown—died a few days ago. Justin Halpern, bestselling author and co-creator of the upcoming Fox sitcom Surviving Jack, told us this story about working with Doink way back in 1998. Halpern believes the Doink mentioned here is Osborne, but given that Doin...

Are Any Baseball Writers <em>Not</em> On A Movie Set With Jon Hamm Right Now?
Million Dollar Arm is a movie about Rinku Singh and Dinesh Patel, two Indian-born pitchers who made their way into the Pittsburgh Pirates' farm system after winning a "Million Dollar Arm" contest in India. The movie is currently filming, and today a cadre of baseball writers are on set to film a cam...

Matt "Doink The Clown" Osborne Has Died
Matt Osborne, a wrestling lifer who will forever be known as a symbol of the WWF's cartoonish early-'90s era, was found dead this morning in Texas. He was 57....

Are Blake Griffin And Kate Upton Humping?
Hoo boy. This, from E (exclamation point) Online, sounds pretty hump-y to me:...

College Baseball Player Takes A Slider Right To The Dick
Cal State Fullerton's Austin Kingsolver only got two plate appearances in yesterday's game against Arizona State, and he probably wishes that he could have skipped the first one. In the top of the seventh inning, Arizona State pitcher Josh McAlister let a 3-2 slider get away from him and sent the p...

Pirates Broadcaster On The Pirates' Hot Streak: "This Is Kinky!"
The Pittsburgh Pirates, you guys! They've been spanking their fans for years, but now they've won 19 games in May. They haven't lost a series since May 5. Last night they won 1-0 for the fourth time in 11 games. And cuddly color man Steve Blass is just tickled by it all....

Panthers Lineman Hits Cam Newton With A Fantastic Videobomb
Usually, the mark of a good videobomb is its subtlety, but Panthers lineman Jordan Gross is proof that the art form can also be deployed with a more overt sensibility. Gross's frantic jig was enough to get Cam Newton to forget the question that he had just been asked, so we'll call this videobomb a...

13 N.J. T.G.I. Fridays, Among Others, Busted For Selling Phony Booze
Nothin' like a scotch-on-the-rocks to make up for a hard day at the office. On second thought, there isn't anything like it if you aren't drinking at a T.G.I. Fridays (or an establishment of similar repute) in New Jersey. If that is where you drink your scotch, there is indeed something like it, acc...

<em>Before Midnight</em> Is Darker Than You Want It To Be
Did you want to learn that Jesse and Celine, the couple we fell in love with as they fell in love with each other in the Richard Linklater films Before Sunrise and Before Sunset, have become cantankerous, unhappy middle-aged jerks? That their love has curdled into passive-aggressive routine and bare...

Terrible Basketball Column Sends Us Through The Looking Glass
Writing parodies of a terrible sports columns is a thing that all the cool kids on the internet like to do these days. On Sunday, our friend @FanSince09 wrote one such column at Zoo With Roy about the Philadelphia 76ers' decision to hire the analytics-driven Sam Hinkie as their general manager. It w...

MLB More Concerned With Pink Bat Sponsorships Than Umpires Fucking Up
For Mother's Day, MLB players sometimes use pink bats with the intent of bringing awareness to breast cancer. Jeff Passan of Yahoo Sports found that this season, the MLB struck an exclusive deal with the parent company of Louisville Slugger to make those bats....

Here's A Special Bottle Of Woodford Reserve With Papa John's Name On It
If we've learned one thing about Papa John over the last few weeks, it's that he really likes to get faded. But what does Papa like to get shitfaced with? What's his drink of choice? Bourbon, apparently....

Tom Coburn Wants To Revoke Sports Leagues' Tax-Exempt Charity Status
Last week Republican Senator Tom Coburn of Oklahoma introduced an amendment to a bill called the Marketplace Fairness Act (the so-called "Internet tax") that would revoke the tax-exempt status of sports leagues. This is the news, and Think Progress has covered it nicely here. Also news, to most peop...

Good Morning! Here's A Michael Wilbon Stinkface
We hope this morning finds you bright and cheerful and ready to take on whatever exasperated-just-to-be-around-other-people Wilbon faces life throws at you....

Papa John Tells Us He Never Got Shitfaced At A Strip Club With Bonzi Wells While Wearing A Shawn Kemp Jersey
It's time for another firsthand account of Papa John getting shitfaced. If you haven't already, please check out our previous coverage of Papa John getting shitfaced. There was the time he got all fucked up at a basketball game, the time he allegedly proved himself to be a huge lightweight, and the ...

Padres CEO Blames Zack Greinke For Brawl, Likens Him To Rain Man
Yahoo has obtained an audio clip of San Deigo Padres CEO Tom Garfinkel saying dumb things about Dodgers pitcher Zack Greinke to a group of Padres season ticket holders. Greinke had his collarbone broken when Padres outfielder Carlos Quentin needlessly charged him after being hit by Greinke on a 3-2 ...