ink Page 67 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
<em>Before Midnight</em> Is Darker Than You Want It To Be
Did you want to learn that Jesse and Celine, the couple we fell in love with as they fell in love with each other in the Richard Linklater films Before Sunrise and Before Sunset, have become cantankerous, unhappy middle-aged jerks? That their love has curdled into passive-aggressive routine and bare...
Terrible Basketball Column Sends Us Through The Looking Glass
Writing parodies of a terrible sports columns is a thing that all the cool kids on the internet like to do these days. On Sunday, our friend @FanSince09 wrote one such column at Zoo With Roy about the Philadelphia 76ers' decision to hire the analytics-driven Sam Hinkie as their general manager. It w...
MLB More Concerned With Pink Bat Sponsorships Than Umpires Fucking Up
For Mother's Day, MLB players sometimes use pink bats with the intent of bringing awareness to breast cancer. Jeff Passan of Yahoo Sports found that this season, the MLB struck an exclusive deal with the parent company of Louisville Slugger to make those bats....
Here's A Special Bottle Of Woodford Reserve With Papa John's Name On It
If we've learned one thing about Papa John over the last few weeks, it's that he really likes to get faded. But what does Papa like to get shitfaced with? What's his drink of choice? Bourbon, apparently....
Tom Coburn Wants To Revoke Sports Leagues' Tax-Exempt Charity Status
Last week Republican Senator Tom Coburn of Oklahoma introduced an amendment to a bill called the Marketplace Fairness Act (the so-called "Internet tax") that would revoke the tax-exempt status of sports leagues. This is the news, and Think Progress has covered it nicely here. Also news, to most peop...
Good Morning! Here's A Michael Wilbon Stinkface
We hope this morning finds you bright and cheerful and ready to take on whatever exasperated-just-to-be-around-other-people Wilbon faces life throws at you....
Papa John Tells Us He Never Got Shitfaced At A Strip Club With Bonzi Wells While Wearing A Shawn Kemp Jersey
It's time for another firsthand account of Papa John getting shitfaced. If you haven't already, please check out our previous coverage of Papa John getting shitfaced. There was the time he got all fucked up at a basketball game, the time he allegedly proved himself to be a huge lightweight, and the ...
Padres CEO Blames Zack Greinke For Brawl, Likens Him To Rain Man
Yahoo has obtained an audio clip of San Deigo Padres CEO Tom Garfinkel saying dumb things about Dodgers pitcher Zack Greinke to a group of Padres season ticket holders. Greinke had his collarbone broken when Padres outfielder Carlos Quentin needlessly charged him after being hit by Greinke on a 3-2 ...
Carlos Quentin Ruins Everything, Drops Suspension Appeal On Eve Of Dodgers Series
Carlos Quentin was handed an eight-game suspension after he charged the much, much tinier Zack Greinke last Thursday, sparking a bench-clearing brawl....
This Is The Man Who Operated On Both Kobe Bryant And Zack Greinke Yesterday
Sure, he looks like he should be at the center of an involved murder mystery on General Hospital, but Dr. Neal ElAttrache spent a good chunk of his Saturday operating on both Zack Greinke's collarbone and Kobe Bryant's achilles. Both surgeries were completed without incident, if you couldn't tell ju...
The Yale Bulldogs Are Your 2013 NCAA Hockey National Champions
Yale over Quinnipiac, in Pittsburgh, 4-0. That's it. Yale wins the championship. I assure you, it's been a long time coming....
Papa John Allegedly Used To Get Trashed With "Chicken Heads"
Earlier this week, we asked our readers to share their firsthand accounts of Papa John getting shitfaced, because it has recently become clear that the Papa really likes to get shitfaced. Here's a story from reader Sam:...
Bench-Clearing Brawl Erupts Between Dodgers And Padres, Then Erupts Again
Benches cleared in San Diego tonight after a Zack Greinke pitch hit Carlos Quentin on the arm, leading the Padres outfielder to charge the mound and spark a lengthy delay that resulted in several ejections and an irate Matt Kemp....
Police Cited 61 People For Underage Drinking Outside The Phillies Game
If you've ever wondered what would happen if someone actually cared to check IDs at a tailgate, here you go. Sixty-one poor bastard minors, each of whom only took one sip, c'mon man, can't you let it go just this one time?...
Berlin-Style Ping Pong: The Game You Can Play With 30 Of Your Drunk Friends
Republished with permission from Tumblr Storyboard. Story by Sky Dylan-Robbins....
How Does Arnold Palmer Order An Arnold Palmer?
"He leaned over and said, 'I'll have a Mr. Palmer.' Then he winked." [Star-Ledger] ...
Steelers Player Tweets Really Dumb Photo
Last October, Steelers nose tackle Alameda Ta'amu got wasted and decided to play bumper cars with several parked vehicles on Pittsburgh's South Side. Thursday, Ta'amu was sentenced to just 18 months' probation for it all. Last night, Ta'amu's friend tweeted the photo you see here, and Ta'amu re-twee...
Help! What Can I Do About My Stinky Feet?
Jolie Kerr is a cleaning expert and advice columnist. She'll be here every other week helping to answer your filthiest questions. Are you dirty? Email her....
Matt Cassel And Kevin Kolb Are Getting Cut
It's the end of two eras. Two sad, frustrating eras marked with wasted promise and ill-advised trades and inept quarterbacking. Matt Cassel was released by the Chiefs today, and the Cardinals are expected to cut Kevin Kolb by the weekend. The only question left is: which one of them will end up on t...
Golfer Falls Down 18-Foot Sinkhole On Fairway
When one of Mark Mihal's playing partners called the clubhouse at a course in Waterloo, Ill., on Friday, he had to give an assurance that he was not making a prank call. But, uh, out on the 14th fairway, he wanted the clubhouse to know, they were going to need a ladder and a rope. Oh, and call an am...