ink Page 73 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Note To ESPN: There Is A Significant Difference Between An "Elephant Keeper" And An "Elephant Walker"
Tony La Russa is making the post-retirement media tour, and on Monday he stopped by Late Show with David Letterman, during which he revealed a Sacramento-area animal rescue group had offered him a position as elephant keeper....

Toledo Frat Boy Surprisingly Consumed With Informing You About His Penis
There's been plenty of scoring in the first quarter of MACtion between NIU and Toledo—the Huskies lead 21-14 early, helped by two Tommylee Lewis kickoff return TDs— but this Toledo fratter's looking for some scoring of his own, from the looks of his sign and the very subtle crotch-grab with which ...

An Idaho-Based Pig Farmer Named Lindy Hinkleman Has Won $300,000 Playing Fantasy Baseball The Past Three Years
And really, what more is there to know than that? You're doing life wrong. [NYT]...

Pitchers Hooked On Beer, Fried Chicken, And Video Games! Francona On Pills! The <em>Boston Globe's</em> Version Of The 2011 Red Sox Collapse
It took two weeks, but the Boston Globe has produced the definitive grisly autopsy of the 2011 Boston Red Sox meltdown, and it's lurid, all right. (You'll recall that the team collapsed in epic fashion and missed the playoffs.) The Globe's story is full of drink and drugs and player grousing, but th...

Good Luck Charm? Cardinals Play-By-Play Broadcaster Might Have Wet Himself During His DWI Arrest
Two Sundays ago, Fox Sports Midwest's Dan McLaughlin was arrested for driving drunk after he crashed into a stop sign in Chesterfield, a suburb of St. Louis. He was suspended from work, even though FSM doesn't carry postseason games so his year was effectively over. That mugshot, on the left, is the...

If You Dare Approach Frank Beamer On The Football Field, The Virginia State Police Will Disappear You
Your morning roundup for Oct. 9, the day we learned they won't keep you in the clink very long after threatening to cook your friend's mom. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Missouri State Ice Bears Top Boise State With Pink Ice For Breast Cancer Awareness Month
Division III Club ice hockey has never been so sultry. Maybe Sean Avery will play there?...

If You're In Manhattan On Sunday And Would Like To Watch Football With Us, Please Stop By, Penis Breathers
Twice per month, Deadspin readers will be able to congregate and watch football in peace: no more screaming babies, nagging significant others, noisy pet hamsters or any other weekend distraction that's made your Sunday game-watching experience miserable. ...

This Year, You'll Be Able To Get Fresh Ink At Islanders Games
"The Islanders have struck up a partnership with Tattoo Lou's and will be inserting a new shop owned by them into the arena. [Blue Line Station] (H/T Brian B. and Hockey News)...

Derek Jeter And Minka Kelly Have Split, So Here's Your Chance, Dudes
Take that however you want to take it, single heterosexual male Yankees fans....

Zack Greinke Bunts To You From Germany And/Or The Future
Your morning roundup for August 14, the day the New York Times trend piece hit a new low.....

Kevin Kolb Says It's Time For Him To Be "Unleashed"
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Release the Kolb Kraken!...

Did Andres Blanco Make Adrian Beltre Sit In His Fart Cloud? Oh, Yes, He Did.
And this is why you have to love regular-season baseball. We showed you the highs several minutes ago, but there are lows, too. Such riveting lows they are....

According To Nathan Horton's Wife, The Stanley Cup Was Lost In Boston Yesterday
The Stanley Cup itself excites us in ways no other sports trophy does. Some of that comes from its versatility: One can eat and drink from it. Some of that comes from its uniqueness: There's a new Lombardi Trophy every year, but there's only one Cup. And the winning team's players get to take that o...

This Little Piggy Is David Haye's Excuse For Getting His Ass Kicked Last Night
So, here's the picture that David Haye posted on Twitter last night after he "fought" Wladimir Klitschko in Hamburg, Germany. After months of smack talk, he typed......

One Green-Jersey'd Schmo Gesticulates Wildly On Behalf Of All Knicks Fans
We know, guy. We know....

Hunter Mahan Is The PGA's Rock-Loving "Hip Young Face," But His Favorite Band Is Linkin Park
You want to know how starved the PGA is for a post-Tiger, post-Phil star? Exhibit A: This pre-US Open New York Times feature on Hunter Mahan, who's currently 18th in the world rankings....

Beer In The Stanley Cup Looks Like Piss: More From The Patrick Kane Collection
Would you believe it's been a year, to the week, of the Blackhawks capturing the most famous trophy in all of professional sports? To remind you what Vancouver and Boston are playing for, here are a couple new photos from Patrick Kane's time with the Stanley Cup. ...

Here's The Video Where LeBron James Takes Flopping To Heretofore Unseen Levels
Your morning roundup for May 27, the day it helps to have a background in mathematics if you want to work for Pauly Shore. Video H/T Allen W...

Washington State Football Refs Punished For Using Pink Whistles
The Washington Officials Association is punishing 143 football referees in the Pacific Northwest Football Officials Association (PNFOA) for wearing pink whistles to support breast cancer awareness and for donating their game checks to the cause. The PNFOA, which had been warned that the plan would b...