ink Page 81 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Rinku And Dinesh Hit Big Time, Will Soon Be Rolling In Rupees
Remember Rinku Singh and Dinesh Patel, the Indian teenagers who had a tryout for Major Leage Baseball scouts a few weeks back? The pitchers flew to California to work out in San Francisco and then show their stuff at USC, with the hopes of landing a major league contract. Crazy, right? Neither had e...
Ron Artest Speaks the Awful, Unvarnished Truth
It's pretty rare to have an interview with Ron Artest that isn't entertaining, but the one he did in the latest issue of "King" magazine is unbelievably candid. Writer Thomas Golianopoulos was a former elementary school classmate of Artest's back at P.S. 122 in Astoria Queens, which evidently gave h...
Jamboroo, Week 12. Featuring: Fire-Eating Strippers, Hidden Poop Éclairs, and Pornographic Liechtensteinian Christmas Carols
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs, well, every Thursday afternoon during the NFL season. Drew's new book, "Men With Balls," featuring 100% new material, is available right now in stores and online here, and makes a lovely Christmas gift for the chronic masturbator in your...
The Gators and Bulldogs Are Ready For Cocktails
You might still be hungover from your Halloween shenanigans, but for the ladies and gentlemen at Florida and Georgia the party is just starting. Today of course is the date for the world's biggest outdoor cocktail party. The two top ten teams are set for a 3:30 kickoff in the neutral site of Jackso...
Septuagenarian Shooting Guard Suits Up For College Hoops Team
Who says college basketball doesn't have great seniors anymore? Meet smooth shooting two guard Ken Wink from Roane State (TN) Community College in Tennessee. Experts say he reminds them of young Jerry West—except that he's actually three years older than Jerry West is now. Mink, a spry 73 years old,...
Your Week 4 Jamboroo, Featuring Home Brewed Beer, RBBC Vultures, Sugar, Trader Joe’s, Cheap Trick, Bar Mitzvahs, And Gratuitous Cleavage
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs, well, every Thursday afternoon during the NFL season. Drew's new book, "Men With Balls," released October 27th and featuring 100% new material, is available for pre-order here. You can email Drew here. Read him during the week at KSK. No...
To Watch Tonight: The Winner Takes It All
What to watch to overcome your disappointment in the Golf Digest submission standards... • NFL Preseason Football: Steelers vs. Vikings (8 pm ET) - The Vikings' mastery of steel is well-documented. The Steelers' mastery of vike, on the other hand, has less supporting evidence. [CBS] • NASCAR: Sharpi...
Bela Karolyi Wants to Train Your Babies
Famed U.S. Olympic gymnastics coach Bela Karolyi is not a fan of little girls. At least not ones who can beat his team in the Olymics. Karolyi is raising a fuss about the ages of the Chinese gymnast, claiming that they do not appear to be the competition legal age of 16. Clearly the world's most fam...
Jimmy Clausen's Drinking Game Prowess Prompts Investigation By Notre Dame
Jimmy Clausen is the starting quarterback for Notre Dame. Last year he, along with the entire team, had a horrible season. Which was disappointing because Clausen, the nation's consensus top quarterback, committed to Notre Dame in such an understated fashion: By pulling up in a limo to the College ...
That's A Stanley Cup You Can Keep
Every team that wins the Stanley Cup parties hard with the Holy Grail. The Detroit Red Wings are no different, even if they've been a little rough with the trophy. Most teams, however, don't allow family members to shit in it, as Kris Draper did....
ESPN's Featured Comment Of The Day
ESPN scoured its message boards this morning to find its boldest, cleverest, most enlightening comment, and chose this one above all others ......
Barbados's National Soccer Team Is Accepting Applications
True story: Once, when I went to Barbados on business, I made such a good first impression that my customer asked me if I wanted to marry his daughter, move permanently to the island, work for him, and have a place of my own to live. Sight unseen, I had to respectfully decline, but also because I wa...
To Watch Tonight
Yes, but they left an excellent tip ... • Boxing: Light middleweights, Sechew Powell vs. Deandre Latimore, at New York (9 p.m., ET). Always bet on the boxer whose first name sounds like someone sneezed. [ESPN2]. • MLB: Atlanta at Chicago Cubs (8 p.m., ET). That Cubs' swoon is way behind schedule. [E...
The Gateway Grizzlies Will Clog Your Arteries If It's The Last Thing They Do
The team that gave you "Baseball's Best Burger" — a bacon cheeseburger with a Krispy Kreme doughnut used as a bun, has done it again. Now available at the Gateway Grizzlies concession area: Baseball's Best Soft Pretzel. And finally, that fifth doctor surrenders. Now five out of five doctors agree th...
University Of Nevada's Football Players Lack Adequate Driver Designation Skills
Here's a brilliant display of a group of collegiate athletes woeful abandonment of alcohol-imbibing responsibility, as three University of Nevada football players were pinched over the Memorial Day weekend for DUIs, including senior wide receiver, Mike McCoy, pictured holding the ball in a less ine...
Virtual Binge-Drinking To Become Latest Gaming Trend
Do you still long for the competitive nature of drinking games, but no longer enjoy slamming plastic cups full of warm, shitty beer or have been forced to remove your ping pong table from the dining room by your shrewish wife? Well, the gaming universe has finally answered your prayers: Beer Pong fo...
ESPN's Featured Comment Of The Day
ESPN scoured its message boards this morning to find its cleverest, boldest, most enlightening comment, and chose this one above all others ......
Steely McDrunky
In even more startling DUI news, Pittsburgh police have arrested one of the men who played Pittsburgh Steelers horrifying mascot, Steely McBeam....
Um, Someone Tell The Italian Sausage That He's Doing It Wrong
Hey, they told me that there would be no food allowed on the ski lift. Thank you Home Run Derby, for making us laugh at costumed baseball mascots attempting winter sports once again....
Would You Hire This Man To Sell Your Underwear?
So word is that Calvin Klein is driving hard to the basket, trying to lure Tom Brady as their underwear model/spokesman. For seven figures. Wow. Do I want to live in a world where Tom Brady makes more for underwear modeling than Heidi Klum?...