ink Page 82 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
ESPN's Featured Comment Of The Day
ESPN scoured its message boards this morning to find its boldest, cleverest, most enlightening comment, and chose this one above all others ......
Barbados's National Soccer Team Is Accepting Applications
True story: Once, when I went to Barbados on business, I made such a good first impression that my customer asked me if I wanted to marry his daughter, move permanently to the island, work for him, and have a place of my own to live. Sight unseen, I had to respectfully decline, but also because I wa...
To Watch Tonight
Yes, but they left an excellent tip ... • Boxing: Light middleweights, Sechew Powell vs. Deandre Latimore, at New York (9 p.m., ET). Always bet on the boxer whose first name sounds like someone sneezed. [ESPN2]. • MLB: Atlanta at Chicago Cubs (8 p.m., ET). That Cubs' swoon is way behind schedule. [E...
The Gateway Grizzlies Will Clog Your Arteries If It's The Last Thing They Do
The team that gave you "Baseball's Best Burger" — a bacon cheeseburger with a Krispy Kreme doughnut used as a bun, has done it again. Now available at the Gateway Grizzlies concession area: Baseball's Best Soft Pretzel. And finally, that fifth doctor surrenders. Now five out of five doctors agree th...
University Of Nevada's Football Players Lack Adequate Driver Designation Skills
Here's a brilliant display of a group of collegiate athletes woeful abandonment of alcohol-imbibing responsibility, as three University of Nevada football players were pinched over the Memorial Day weekend for DUIs, including senior wide receiver, Mike McCoy, pictured holding the ball in a less ine...
Virtual Binge-Drinking To Become Latest Gaming Trend
Do you still long for the competitive nature of drinking games, but no longer enjoy slamming plastic cups full of warm, shitty beer or have been forced to remove your ping pong table from the dining room by your shrewish wife? Well, the gaming universe has finally answered your prayers: Beer Pong fo...
ESPN's Featured Comment Of The Day
ESPN scoured its message boards this morning to find its cleverest, boldest, most enlightening comment, and chose this one above all others ......
Steely McDrunky
In even more startling DUI news, Pittsburgh police have arrested one of the men who played Pittsburgh Steelers horrifying mascot, Steely McBeam....
Um, Someone Tell The Italian Sausage That He's Doing It Wrong
Hey, they told me that there would be no food allowed on the ski lift. Thank you Home Run Derby, for making us laugh at costumed baseball mascots attempting winter sports once again....
Would You Hire This Man To Sell Your Underwear?
So word is that Calvin Klein is driving hard to the basket, trying to lure Tom Brady as their underwear model/spokesman. For seven figures. Wow. Do I want to live in a world where Tom Brady makes more for underwear modeling than Heidi Klum?...
About Last Night
What you missed while pleading with the suicidal moose not to jump ... • MLB: Roger Clemens' approval ratings now lower than Dick Cheney's. • College basketball: Come on, Indiana, make up your mind. Do you want your players choked, or do you want them illegally recruited? I kind of vote for choked. ...
ESPN's Featured Comment Of The Day
ESPN scoured its message boards this morning to find its cleverest, boldest, most enlightening comment, and chose this one above all others ......
ESPN's Featured Comment Of The Day
ESPN scoured its message boards this morning to find its cleverest, boldest, most enlightening comment, and chose this one above all others ......
Fake Tats Are An Excellent Recruiting Tool
In today's smash-mouth world of college football recruiting, desperate times call for desperate measures, and desperate measures call for temporary tattoos. That's just the way it is....
Tony Romo Thinks He Can Do Better
Good news, fellows ... Jessica Simpson may soon be available. So for Heaven's sake start wearing collared shirts! (Preferably popped.) Word is that Tony Romo would like to dump her ... only she's not going easily. Hmm. Glenn Close in Fatal Attraction comes to mind here for some reason....
Happy Championship Sunday!
Ladies and gentlemen, start your countdown. We're now just eight hours away from kickoff in the first game of the NFL's Championship Sunday. Things get underway at 3 pm eastern when San Diego will call the toss in Foxborough, and with any luck the game will still be competitive at 3:30. Once that's ...
Dana Jacobson Has The Sole Appropriate Reaction To The Mike And Mike Roast
Last Friday night, they held that "Mike And Mike Celebrity Roast" thing in Atlantic City. It was about as entertaining as you'd expected it to be, according to the Press Of Atlantic City. (No offense to Trey Wingo, but when you host half the show, and the other half is hosted by Jeffrey Ross, you're...
Tom Brady Wants You To Buy Some Water
Glaceau smartwater; magic elixir of the Gods. Too bad it wasn't around in 2000, when Brady posed for this photo for the NFL combine. How times have changed. Now our hero is toting the water in a new series of print ads (the real ads can be found here), for which he was paid a reported $3 million. I...
The Winter Olympic Mascots Are ... Yeaagh! What The Hell? ...
Inspired by Native American tales of creatures that will claw children's eyes out if they don't behave, please welcome the new Winter Olympic mascots, Quatchi, Miga and Sumi! The Games are a mere 2 1/2 years from now, so these charming critters need to get right to work, doing, um, whatever it is th...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch while sitting on your Concorde jet toilet seat... • 8 p.m. — NCAA Football: Auburn at Florida [ESPN], Ohio State at Minnesota [ESPN2]. It's not October yet, and OSU is already playing it's second road game. Man, what a schedule. • 8 p.m. — Movie: The Office. I'm trying to think of a qu...