ioc Page 16 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Yankees Radio Guy John Sterling Is The Saddest Man Alive
If you haven't already, I urge you to read the John Sterling profile in last Sunday's New York Times. Sterling, for the uninitiated, is the Yankees' godawful radio play-by-play guy—"Thuuuuuuh Yankees win!"—for whom some people have developed an unaccountable hipster taste, like moose antlers. (Back...

Dan Snyder Is Saving The World, According To Idiot
Someone let ESPN senior Jonas Brothers correspondent Lynn Hoppes out of the shallow end of the pool, and this is what happened. ...

The U.S. Is Not Even Trying To Host The Olympics Anymore
"America's next chance to host an Olympics would be the 2022 Winter Games. Denver and the Reno/Tahoe area have expressed interest, though the USOC would put the same caveats on a bid for those games—that there would be no attempt unless the revenue-sharing deal is worked out and the relationship wit...

Who Will Get The 2018 Olympics?
Tomorrow at 11am EDT, the IOC will announce the host city for the 2018 Winter Olympics. Seeing as how those Games may come around before we ever see the NBA or NFL again, I thought it would be instructive to examine each prospective host’s bid. And I’ll be doing this the right way: with no research ...

Colin Cowherd Will Have You Know His Script Can Get Worse By The Hour
Back in February, we brought you the Awful Pilot for Colin Cowherd's Awful TV Show. It was doubly awful. Read it here if you're so inclined....

ESPN's Corporate Blog Finds Rock Bottom Somewhere In This Idiot's Office
If you're at all like me, you've avoided ESPN's in-house blog, Front Row, in much the same way you avert your eyes whenever a cat starts licking its own asshole. But this? This is just too much....

We Have The Surprisingly Cock-Obsessed Pilot For Mark Schlereth's Sitcom
CBS has ordered a pilot for Home Game, a sitcom about Mark Schlereth, ESPN analyst and former Broncos/Redskins guard. Why? It's unclear....

Rick Reilly Rips Off Rick Reilly ... Again
You have to wonder about the return on investment for Rick Reilly. ESPN pays Reilly millions to squeeze out meconium-scented goo like this piece on the Caltech basketball team. You could literally automate this kind of hackwork. And Reilly often does....

Is The London Olympic Logo A Zionist Conspiracy, Or Is It Just Lisa Simpson Giving Bart A Blowjob?
There are two dominant conspiracies behind the London Olympics logo, which, if you ask Iranians and Simpsons enthusiasts, is trying suspiciously hard to be just ugly blocky numbers spelling out the year "2012." The Lisa Simpson and "Zion" theories, as well as a swastika interpretation, emerged whe...

The IOC Was This Close To Owning Santa Claus
Saturday, the Russian Olympic Committee announced the results of voting for the 2014 Olympic mascots. (They picked a snowboarding snow leopard, and a fluffy bunny and cheerful bear. They're boring.) But one of the 10 nominees didn't even make it to voting. Ded Moroz ("Father Frost"), the Russian ver...

We Have The Awful Pilot For Colin Cowherd's Awful TV Show
A tipster has sent along the script for the first episode of Colin Cowherd's "relationship" sitcom, which is being developed for CBS and which is roughly The Honeymooners meets Frasier meets the really insightful parts of Bedtime for Bonzo. Here are some highlights....

Nine Chinese Figure Skaters May Not Be The Age China Said They Were
After the 2008 Beijing Olympics, the IOC launched an investigation into the ages of China's women's gymnastics team, because it seemed very possible that a few members were not women at all, but actually pre-adolescent girls. The '08 gymnasts were eventually cleared, but it came out that a '00 Olymp...

One Of Antonio Cromartie's Baby Mamas Is Writing A Tell-All To "Help Women"
After noting that New York Jets cornerback Antonio Cromartie is known for "siring nine kids with eight women in six states," the New York Post gets right to the crux of ex-fiancée Rhonda Patterson's tell-all book's jacket cover....

Matt Hasselbeck Apologizes After Antonio Cromartie Threatens To Smash His Face
Responding to New York Jet Antonio Cromartie's rant about how the players' union needs "to get their sh— together and just get it done," Seattle Seahawks QB Matt Hasselbeck took to the tubes and "joked" about Cromartie's intelligence....

Devin Hester Is New Monthly Daddy Columnist For <em>Chicago Parent</em>
"Hangin' with Devin" will debut in April. Hopefully, New York Parent will let Antonio Cromartie begin his own column titled "Hangin' With Jurzie, Alonzo, Caris, Antonio, Jr., Tyler, Leilani, London, Daughter, and Whatsherface?" soon. [Chicago Parent]...

The Meaning Of "Fuck Tom Brady," And The Genius Of Rex Ryan's Trash-Talking
Athletes talking shit to each other is hardly a new story. Every kid who ever played sports in high school knows that shit-talking is a time-honored tradition in competitive athletics. The winners shit-talk the losers; the losers shit-talk the winners; the fans shit-talk the players, shit-talk the o...

Bring On The Bad Blood, Great Quotes In The AFC
Antonio Cromartie went on a cursing spree at Tom Brady. Terrell Suggs sent a giant middle finger to Pittsburgh. Finally, players who give us what we want....

Robbie Alomar, Second-Rate Wax Robbie Alomar Turn Two
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

10 Extremely Biblical-Looking Footballers
Of course, most of the nation will spend the weekend embroiled in sprouts, drinking heavily, and most definitely not sitting down to rewatch Mel Gibson's incredibly inaccurate and rather over-the-top remake of The Life of Brian....

IOC Keeps Stuffing Its Head Up Its Ass With Doping Policy
When athletes blame failed drug tests on protein supplements, I usually call bullshit. But in this story, U.S. swimmer Jessica Hardy missed the '08 Olympics because of a nutritional supplement, and now, she may also miss the London Games. This is bullshit!...