it Page 1694 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Today In The Premiership...
• Sheffield United 1-2 Manchester United. Wayne Rooney put Manchester United on his back today and earned them a crucial 2-1 victory over Sheffield United. Sheffield led after a goal in the 13th minute, but a couple of clean Rooney strikes gave the Reds the win. I don't think Rooney's performance ...

Start Saving Up For A Good Boning, Courtesy Of Mike Tyson
Here comes the perfect opportunity for the first-ever Ladies Only Deadspin Field Trip: Mike Tyson has reportedly agreed to be a male prostitute at Heidi Fless's new manwhorehouse in Nevada....

Five Tiny Tidbits On: The Ivy League
Thought we were done previewing things? How could you think that, with your NCAA Basketball Tournament office pool a mere five months away? You've got to start studying now if you want to earn that down payment for a high-def TV. So who's with me? Let's Gooo! Please send contributions to tips@dead...

Meow Meow Meow Meow
Every Day Should Be Saturday, whose daily brilliance might be what we'll miss most about college football once it's gone, directs us to this clip from last night's West Virginia-Pittsburgh game, in which quarterback Pat White does his best impersonation of Halle Berry in Catwoman. It's one thing to ...

Five Little Words That Started It All
As every schoolchild knows by heart, Nov. 19, 2004 was the date of the Malice in the Palace NBA brawl between the Detroit Pistons and Indiana Pacers. That of course is the fight in which the Pacers' Ron Artest went into the stands to tangle with fans, one of whom he thought had thrown a beverage a...

Five Tiny Tidbits On: The West Coast Conference
Thought we were done previewing things? How could you think that, with your NCAA Basketball Tournament office pool a mere five months away? You've got to start studying now if you want to make them all sorry they laughed. So who's with me? Let's Gooo! Please send contributions to [email protected]...

Emmitt Smith, You Are A Champion! The Emptiness Is Temporarily Gone!
It appears that American can finally release its collective tension: "Dancing With The Stars" has finally crowned a winner. And it's none other than ... Emmitt Smith! Yes, the former Cowboys (and Buzzsaw) running back emerged victorious last night, barely edging out Mario Lopez, and any contest in...

This Is What It's Like When Parents Collide
We take you home today with outstanding home video of a Pee Wee football league parents fight in Corpus Christi, Tex. It has been reported on already, but this is the first time we've seen a video of it....

Five Tiny Tidbits On: The Western Athletic Conference
Thought we were done previewing things? How could you think that, with your NCAA Basketball Tournament office pool a mere five months away? You've got to start studying now if you want to wash away the shameful taste of your finish in last year's Oscar pool . So who's with me? Let's Gooo! Please s...

Five Tiny Tidbits On: Conference USA
Thought we were done previewing things? How could you think that, with your NCAA Basketball Tournament office pool a mere five months away? You've got to start studying now if you want to crush your enemies into paste. So who's with me? Let's Gooo! Please send contributions to [email protected]....

The Joy Of The 2006 Skins
This video, captured yesterday, pretty sums up everything you need to know about the Washington Redskins' season so far. Careful, kids; you might need those brains someday. Though probably not....

The Greatest YWML Reference Of All Time (So Far)
So, Saturday morning, we woke up, full of enthusiasm for a beautiful New York City afternoon, and we checked our email. There were, strangely, 211 new email messages; that's a lot for a weekend. We weren't sure what we'd missed; did Carl Monday do a story on Fred Smoot or something?...

Five Tiny Tidbits On: The Big East Conference
Thought we were done previewing things? How could you think that, with your NCAA Basketball Tournament office pool a mere five months away? You've got to start studying now if you want to impress that chick in reception. So who's with me? Let's Gooo! Please send contributions to [email protected]....

A Very Unmanly Night Of Boxing
At Madison Square Garden tonight, Muhammad Ali will be in the house, and the IBF heavyweight title is on the line. There was a time when that would've meant something. Tonight, however, Muhammad's only there to support his daughter, and the guy who's challenging for the world heavyweight title would...

Football Game Delays Vote Counting; You'll Never Guess Where
No more than 3,500 votes separate U.S. Rep Deborah Pryce and her democratic challenger, Mary Jo Killroy in the Ohio congressional race. There are still 18,000 absentee and provisional ballots to be counted. You'd think they might want to count those as soon as possible ... but they're not....

Own Pac-Man's Car!
As anyone who has dealt with the difficult nature of car salesmen, you sometimes just don't know whom to trust. Fortunately, there's one place you know you can find a good deal on all your automobile needs: Buying cars that were once owned by troubled NFL players and have now been repossessed and ...

Five Tiny Tidbits On: The Atlantic Coast Conference
Thought we were done previewing things? How could you think that, with your NCAA Basketball Tournament office pool a mere five months away? You've got to start studying now if you want to crush all who laughed at your picks last year. So who's with me? Let's Gooo! Please send contributions to tips...

Blasted Apart, With Just A Hint Of Juniper
Ladies and gentlepersons, we proudly introduce you to SeasonShot. What is it? It's a shotgun that saved you the trouble of having to spice your meat! You can blast a bird out of the air and lightly pepper it with coriander at the same time! We'll let the inventors describe it:...

Five Tiny Tidbits On: The Big Ten Conference
Thought we were done previewing things? How could you think that, with your NCAA Basketball Tournament office pool a mere five months away? You've got to start studying now if you want to finally get some respect. So who's with me? Let's Gooo! Please send contributions to [email protected]....

The Return Of Ned
A profile in courage from Florida International University: Running back A'Mod Ned, the injured Panther who heroically joined the fray of the infamous Miami-FIU brawl from a month or so ago despite, you know, being on crutches, is expected to return to practice this week and could be able to retur...