it Page 1695 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Five Tiny Tidbits On: The Big 12 Conference
Thought we were done previewing things? How could you think that, with your NCAA Basketball Tournament office pool a mere five months away? You've got to start studying now if you want to avoid eternal shame. So who's with me? Let's Gooo! (Please send contributions to )....
An Excuse To Break Out Our Ditka Wine!
If an alien race ever decided to attack us, we know of one sure-fire way to hold off the destruction. Just send this ad into space. It's sure to render potential invaders hopelessly befuddled, so that they veer off toward a stable planet, like Saturn. Heck, we live here, and we're frightened by this...
Forget Your Race; We Need A Pulitzer Shot
We had an excellent front-row seat for the New York City Marathon on Sunday, where we saw Lance Armstrong surrounded by photographers and a bunch of pace-setting rabbits (which is supposedly against the rules, but whatever), a few people in wacky costumes and, sadly, no one with bleeding nipples. We...
Unpretentious, With Just A Hint Of Laundry Hamper
Strawberries, cherries and and angel's kiss in spring ... this Ditka wine is really made from all these things ......
Pointing Out The Idiocy Of A New Rule
A truly outstanding find from The Wizard Of Odds: Apparently, during the Joe Paterno broken leg game between Penn State and Wisconsin — JoePa's return has been pretty amazing, by the way; the guy's coaching this week — Badgers coach Bret Bielema either discovered a loophole in the controversial new ...
Lonnie Smith Wanted To Shoot John Schuerholz
We had heard that Lonnie Smith, the former Cardinals and Braves outfielder whose frenetic baserunning was almost as breathtaking as watching him try to play defense (Bill James once pointed out that Smith "really does fall down almost every game), had battled some drug problems back in the late '80s...
Sometimes, The Gatorade Bottle Is Just Too Far Away
We're posting this just to be obnoxious, and we will not pretend otherwise: During Nebraska's 34-20 victory over Missouri, Tigers quarterback Chase Daniel discovers a way to replenish proteins burned through on the field of battle....
Thinking Good Thoughts For JoePa
If you haven't seen the "highlight" yet, here's video of Joe Paterno's broken leg accident on Saturday. We are extremely fond of Paterno — we always find him lovable; we want him to read us a story or something — and hope he has a speedy recovery, or as speedy a recovery that a 79-year-old man can h...
Today In The Premiership...
Today feels like a fine day to celebrate the legacy of Sir Alex Ferguson. As of Monday, he will have been Manchester United's manager for 20 years, and Guardian Unlimited has this list of his best all-time quotes. I'll be honest, in half of them, I don't know what the hell he's talking about, but I ...
ESPNU May Have An Opening For This Guy
Before the Hugh Johnson madness gets underway in a bit, I thought we could go back to last week and revisit a couple of themes from last week: Temple's win over Bowling Green, and inappropriate things said by people in the media. Both are covered by this fellow (at about the 50-second mark, but if y...
Rid Yourself Of Those "Cliffhangers"
It's time once again to ask the musical question: "Is that an extra large steel rescue pulley in your pocket, or are you just glad to see me?" According to the Chicago Tribune, altitude sickness can be avoided by taking a large dose of sildenafil (better know as Viagra) with you on those strenuous...
Please, Sir, Keep The Gutteral Utterances To Yourself
This is Al Argibay, and he has a goatee and, we presume, walks around making this arm motion all day. And he's pissed, because he was just thrown out of his gym for grunting too loud....
No More Vroom Vroom For Big Ben
So the Steelers are falling apart right now, losing to the freaking Raiders last week, and at the center of all of it is quarterback Ben Roethlisberger, who has had an awfully busy few months for a guy who didn't play all that well in the Super Bowl. Concussions, emergency surgery, road mishaps ... ...
Mota Somehow Finds Way To Fail Drug Test
Yesterday, relief pitcher Guillermo Mota was suspended 50 games for testing positive for steroids, and, as Baseball Musings points out, he at least didn't do the "might have accidentally put the wrong thing in my body" excuse; he manned up and apologized for his mistake. The suspension proves what w...
Steelers Choose To Stay The Course
We should be saving this for our Heartfelt Fridays post, but, you know, we couldn't wait. So ... sorry. In the Steelers' press conference on Tuesday, coach Bill Cowher said that he is officially taking the blame for the team's 2-5 start, warning everyone to lay off of quarterback Ben Roethlisberge...
Adventures in Obscure Sports: Rootball
Earlier this month, the East Coast Championships of Rootball were held in Asheville, NC. An area correspondent reports:...
Breaking: Athletes Also Like to Jack Off to Internet
ESPN reports on a dangerous new problem facing that country's footballers:...
Five Tiny Tidbits On: The New York Knicks
It's hard to believe, but the NBA regular season begins today. And with the precision timing that you have come to know and love, here is our final NBA team preview. We've saved the best for last, one might say. And so, onward....
End of the Line for Curtis Martin?
Nice - if, you know, it turns out to be true - scoop from the Newark Star-Ledger:...
Great Moments in Sports Journalism: Hell, We'll Give it a Shot
Over at Gawker we run a regular feature called Great Moments in Journalism where readers send in particularly egregious examples of overwriting, poor writing, excessive use of clich , or any other example of journalism gone wrong. We very rarely nominate sports pieces, since most of our readers don'...