it Page 1701 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
An Odd Way To Get Your Coach Off Your Back
Because we're just the kind of sniggering, obnoxious, wisenheimer 14-year-olds you think we are, we thought we'd giggle a bit this morning at Steelers lineback Joey Porter, who is in serious danger of becoming a staple around these parts....
Steelers Ruin Dolphins' Quest For Undefeated Season
The good news, Pittsburgh fans, is that you've won your opener 28-17 over the Miami Dolphins, behind three touchdown passes from Charlie Batch (!!!???) and an interception return for a touchdown from Joey Porter, who celebrated by setting the goalposts on fire and then eating them....
It's About Damned Time Charlie Batch Got Some National TV Exposure
You know the NFL season is upon us when Charlie Batch fastens his chinstrap and storms onto the field. It's really what the league's all about, no?...
Party Crash: Our Birthday Bash
As you might have noticed — mainly because we kind of haven't shut up about it, much to our own detriment — our beloved little site turned one year old yesterday. When we personally turned one year old in 1976, we celebrated by drinking in extreme excess, so we thought we'd do the same thing last ni...
NFL Pants Party: NFC North
We do the riverdance, a manly dance, through the NFC North, land of paternity suits, custody issues, nude assistant coaches, Brett Favre and, of course, sex boats....
A Little Fired Up Down In The Red Zone
Forget the exploits of Peyton Manning and Ben Rothelisberger. Years from now, when you're balancing your great grandchildren on your knee, you can tell them that you were there on the day that Detroit Lions assistant coach Joe Cullen was arrested for driving in the nude. "But was he totally nude, gr...
NFL Pants Party: AFC West
This is the AFC West. This is not like the AFC North. You might have noticed this earlier. This is where they play in different time zones than the one in which we live. Whew. All irrefutable facts....
NFL Pants Party: AFC North
This might be our favorite division in football. Big Ben's bashed up face/appendix combo, Joey Porter, the Bengals cavalcade of feloniousness, Ray Lewis and sex tapes and murder raps ... oh, and the Browns too. What do the kids think?...
NFL Pants Party: AFC South
Because the season starts, oh, tomorrow, we figured it was probably time to start laying out some of the predictions for you, division by division. So here's a quick roundup of predictions from around the series of tubes we call the Internet....
Hall Of Fame Inductee: You're With Me, Leather
Presenting ... the first member of the inaugural class of the Deadspin Hall Of Fame ......
NFL Season Preview: Kansas City Chiefs
We are officially less than a month before the start of the NFL season, so it's probably time to start previewing the monster. The key to the NFL's success — other than fantasy football and gambling, of course — is the rabid nature of its fans. That is to say: You don't see a lot of people painting ...
Joey Porter's Eye On Romance
The best reason for seemingly archaic magazines like Sports Illustrated to exist is to humanize our athletes, to take them off the stat pages and bring them to life through real, vivid prose. (That, these days, runs about 1,100 words.) We can think of no other example than this week's profile of Ste...
NFL Season Preview: Pittsburgh Steelers
(We're still taking the day off, but we thought we'd toss this out there for you, so you had something today. Plus, it's really good. See you tomorrow.)...
Roethlisberger's Appendix Does Not Survive NFL Roster Cuts
Ben Roethlisberger had an emergency appendectomy today, leaving him out for the Steelers opener this Thursday against the Dolphins. Funny, I thought his liver would be the first to go....
Deadspin HOF Nominee: Burritos
We are in a difficult position here, trying to summarize why burritos became such a large part of the Deadspin psyche. You see, we really had absolutely nothing to do with it....
Deadspin HOF Nominee: Stephen A. Smith
It's fascinating to us, the long and strangely intricate association we've had with "Quite Frankly With Stephen A. Smith." It seems unusual mostly because just about every Web site we read has more viewers than the program....
Embrace Me, My Sweet Inflatable You
The competitive sex doll rafting community is still reeling over Tuesday's shocking conclusion to the Bubba Bobble Challenge Sex Doll Races tournament near St. Petersburg. We briefly touched on this yesterday, but we want our readers to know that we are going to stay with this story, and all of it...
Controversy Rocks The Little League World Series
It seems we have proven once again that, when it comes to baseball, you should probably take what we say and expect the exact opposite. The team from Columbus, Ga. beat Kawaguchi City, Japan, 2-1, on Monday to claim the Little League World Series title, as America finally exacts revenge for the Wo...
Weird: A Lions Fan Setting Something On Fire
We know that life as a Detroit Lions fan has been difficult in recent years, but, honestly, it's no reason to set your neighborhood ablaze....
OJ Simpson And Mike Ditka Play Sega
Just to get you adequately prepared for a season of the NFL being back on NBC (and all that comes with it, up to and including Bob Costas), here's an old clip from Super Bowl XXVII in which Costas introduces a "Computer Bowl" matchup between analyst Mike Ditka and non other than O.J. Simpson. This w...