it Page 1703 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
T-Rac Is Probably Not Going To The Pro Bowl This Year
You wouldn't think that the responsibilities of a mascot would be too difficult to handle. Be nice to kids, jump around like an idiot when the home team scores, clutch your chest and act like you're dying when the away team scores, and throw out some cheap-ass team merchandize to fans who will act...
Keith Hamilton Swings A Mean Surge Protector
Former Giants defensive tackle Keith Hamilton believes in an odd method of disciplining his children. Some parents will go for the "time-out," some will go for a routine spanking, some might make you put a quarter in a jar every time you swear. But if you're Keith Hamilton's kid, and you come home w...
Today In The Premiership...
• Cristiano Ronaldo, hated by everyone in England a month ago, was actually welcomed quite warmly by the Manchester United fans at Old Trafford today. He notched a goal and an assist in United's 3-0 victory over Sevilla. After he and beloved Wayne Rooney got into it during the Portugal/England quart...
Little League Controversy Abounds
There's been a lot of conflict in youth baseball this week. First, there was the incident where a team walked a good hitter to they could get the final out of the game against a cancer survivor. And yesterday, a team had to forfeit a game that would've landed them in the regional finals for the Litt...
Can't Break Her Steelers Habit
This picture, which ran in today's Pittsburgh Post-Gazette, makes us happy in a way we can't quite put our finger on....
YWML Night: The Morning After
Well, "You're With Me, Leather" night was last night in Dunedin, Fla., and we received three different reports. That's good, because all three reports reported that there were only three YWML spottings there. They must have all seen each other....
YWML Night Is Here
Well, now that the Cleveland Plain-Dealer has weighed in on the No. 2 Deadspin ongoing gag, it's time to hop back to No. 1 again....
The Closer: In Which We Inadvertantly Prop Up The White Sox
Notes from a day in baseball:...
The Contest Results Are In
It's something the sight of which caused Mrs. Costanza to stumble and throw out her back, and truthfully, if she had seen this, it would have killed her. The 2006 Masturbate-a-thon is now in the record books, as approximately 50 participants — mostly men, and not including Mike Cooper — "dragged t...
The Closer: Liriano's Miner Setback
Notes from a day in baseball:...
Go Toward The Light, Emmitt
You thought that finishing his career flat on the turf of Sun Devil Stadium was the most embarassing final image of all-time rushing champ Emmitt Smith one could come up with....
Oxnard Must Be An Entertaining Camp
Few athletes give us more joy, in a "Jeez, look how far this idiot has fallen" type of way, than former Eagles dope Freddie Mitchell. Last time we checked in with him, he was considering offers from Jon Bon Jovi's team in the Arena League....
Steelers + Motorcycles = Bad News
Jealous of all the attention devoted to Ben Roethlisberger and his motorcycle, Steelers offensive lineman Barrett Brooks took to the streets last night. He "drove recklessly around a police car," which is never a good idea....
If You Gotta Go, That's A Nice Way To Do It
It has been a while, but remember way back about a year ago, when a huge Steelers fan — who just missed a fun season, by the way — was buried in his recliner surrounded by Steelers garb?...
Gentlemen, Start Your Wanking
Right now Carl Monday is snapping down the protective visor on his riot helmet, scrambling into the back of the WKYC Action News van and yelling "Let's roll!" Yes, the big Masturbate-A-Thon is tomorrow,* which, if you live in Europe, still leaves you plenty of time to get to Drop Studios in London...
Remember: Dale's The One Who's Always In Trouble
One of our favorite old stories — memorialized in a classic early Bill Simmons column — was the Atlanta Gold Club trial. Remember that? The one where all the athletes — Patrick Ewing, Andruw Jones and, uh, Stephen Baldwin — kept getting sexual favors from a strip club in Atlanta. (Yes, Rodman was in...
Jay Mariotti Has Returned
Fret not, loyal Chicago-area readers: Your long national nightmare is now over. After a month-long "vacation" that followed Ozzie Guillen Fag-gate, Chicago Sun-Times "columnist" Jay Mariotti has signed a three-year deal with the paper, assuring his smiling face will grace the paper's pages four days...
Can We Close Down Munchkin Gate Now?
You know, sometimes we worry about what we hath wrought....
The Tigers' Doomsday Scenario
Few things tickle our fancy more than good old-fashioned fan panic. We have it every year with our Cardinals; no matter what might be going right, we're always convinced the sky is falling. We do not root for our teams to win; we root from them not to lose. Looking at us while we're watching an im...
Willie Roaf Opts For Retirement
If you're an undergrad sociology student at UC-Irvine, you're about to get a big-ass classmate. Chiefs tackle Willie Roaf announced his retirement yesterday, as well as his intentions of going back to school to get the sociology degree he didn't finish at Louisiana Tech....