it Page 1735 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Pistons Aren't Ready To Go Home Yet
You know if Ben Wallace is happy, everybody's happy....

Last Call For The Pistons?
As we bring you our favorite moment from Game 4 the other night, we eagerly look forward to Game 5 of the Heat-Pistons series tonight. Part of us understands this notion that the Pistons, considered dead by most everybody now, could have one last run in them. The other part wonders if Dwyane Wade's ...

In Support Of More Lego Violence
Inspired by this well-done ranking of the best five baseball fights — we agree that Nolan Ryan pounding Robin Ventura is No. 1, but Izzy Alcantara catcher-face-kick/take-on-all-comers minor league battle is one of the more underrated sports events of our lifetime — we are proud to showcase The Bat...

Say Goodnight, Detroit
We tend to agree with True Hoop: Something inside the Pistons looks broken. After the Heat's 11-point win over the Pistons last night, they're one game away from their first conference NBA finals ever and changing the face of the Pistons forever. (As True Hoop points out, are they really going to ...

Santonio Holmes Already Becoming A Fine Replacement For Plaxico Burress
Former Ohio State receiver and Pittsburgh Steelers #1 draft pick Santonio Holmes was arrested in South Beach early Saturday morning, and unfortunately, it was not for masturbating in a public library. He's charged with disorderly conduct, and police say that he disrupted traffic and was verbally a...

Ironhead Heyward Passes Away
Craig "Ironhead" Heyward has passed away at the age of 39. He'd been battling a brain tumor for more than seven years, and it finally got the better of him. I think most people will remember him for four things, not necessarily in this order: 1) An outstanding college career at Pitt. 2) A non-quit...

The Heat Take Game Three
It was kind of like the exact opposite of Game 2. The home team controls most of the game, the road team looks like they're more concerned with the viscosity of the oil that Pat Riley uses in his hair, until the road team puts together a few good possessions, gets the game close, and then the home...

More Hasselhoff On Your Friday Night Than You Probably Expected
The Mavericks found their groove against the Suns last night, winning 105-98, putting the series at 1-1 heading back to Phoenix. The three stars of the evening: Dirk Nowitzki, who had 30 points, 14 boards, and 6 assists. Josh Howard, who had 29 points and 7 boards. And David Hasselhoff, who is th...

Just Another Manic Monday
Before the week runs its course and we head into our pleasant weekend of barbecues and hangovers, we just wanted to once again salute the genius of CLEVELAND'S INVESTIGATIVE REPORTER Carl Monday, who continues to blow the lid of the cottage "jerking off in a library to get away from one's terrifyi...

The Closer: ... With An Arm That Can Bring A Man To Tears
Notes from a day in baseball:...

Did ESPN Suspend Neil Everett? (Well, Apparently Not)
We hate to ruin the pleasant vibe of an intensely giggle-inducing day, but multiple sources from the Bristol complex have told us "with 97 percent certainty" that anchor Neil Everett, who famously dropped a "You're With Me, Leather" reference on SportsCenter, has been suspended from the network fo...

The Most Brilliant Thing You'll See All Day
So a local television station in Cleveland decided to put together an "investigative report" on the dangers of allowing your children to go to the public library....

Some Not-So-Tiny World Cup Tidbits
The World Cup is ominously close! So that you aren't caught offside (they have that in soccer, right?), we're previewing all the participants, bringing you Four Things You Don't Know About Them. Today: Japan, the United States and Italy! Tomorrow we'll also be featuring leftover tidbits from all t...

The Closer: Tigers Good, Royals Not So Much
Notes from a day in baseball:...

Random YouTube Finding Of The Week
Not excited enough for the Western Conference Finals tonight? Well, if this video doesn't pump you up, nothing will....

Four Tiny Tidbits On: The United States
The World Cup is ominously close! So that you aren't caught offside (they have that in soccer, right?), we're previewing all the participants, bringing you Four Things You Don't Know About Them. Today: the United States! And for World Cup previews that are even better than ours, check out That's O...

We Mean Not To Offend, Joey
Now ... we are going to tread very carefully here ... we don't want any trouble ... we are just reporting facts ......

Heat Take 1-0 Lead Despite Lottery Distractions
It is perhaps telling that, the morning after Shaquille O'Neal and his Miami Heat looked strangely dominant in a Game 1 win over the Pistons, the NBA event that garnered the most online attention was the draft lottery, which was won by the Raptors, who now conveniently aren't run by a moron....

Eastern Conference Pants Party: Pistons Vs. Heat
As disappointed as some of us might be that we didn't get our LeBron-Wade Eastern Conference Final, we have a feeling it'll end up happening someday, somehow. Let's not get greedy just yet. Let's just watch to see if those workmanlike Pistons — who, for all their lack of popularity today, were Ameri...

Mariotti Now Universally Acclaimed As Lazy, Slobbish, Gassy
It's tough to decide whom to dislike more: White Sox catcher AJ Pierzynski or Chicago Sun-Times and "Around The Horn" gasbag Jay Mariotti. Particularly if you're a Cubs fan. After the big interleague tussle last weekend, Pierzynski was on "Pardon The Interruption" yesterday and went after Mariotti...