ja Page 311 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Would You Let Alex Ovechkin Bite You?
A new start-up called Ambrosia, profiled today in Business Insider, is offering olds the opportunity to fill their veins with young people’s blood, which provides vague and questionable benefits for the vampiric elderly. At current prices, one liter of youthful blood will run you $8,000, while two l...
![Oklahoma Is Happy To Accept Transfers, But Unwilling To Let Their Own QB Move Freely [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/ydvrnnzb5qnaz1dtmj8v.jpg)
Oklahoma Is Happy To Accept Transfers, But Unwilling To Let Their Own QB Move Freely [UPDATE]
Jalen Hurts announced today that he would be leaving the Crimson Tide and transferring to play at Oklahoma next season. Since the QB graduated from Alabama already, he can use his final season of NCAA eligibility for the Sooners without having to sit a year. In an essay at the Players’ Tribune, some...

Damn, Now The Rockets Are Even Losing Their Replacement Dudes
The Rockets are currently missing all of Chris Paul, Clint Capela, and Eric Gordon, three players who together make up roughly 99.9 percent of all the difference-making talent Houston has around James Harden. By rights the Rockets should be dead. That they are not is mostly a testament to Harden’s i...

Trevor Lawrence Shoots Down Hilariously Fake Meme About Enraging The "Coastal Elite Media"<em></em>
Have you heard the news? Trevor Lawrence, who is an American patriot first and Clemson’s star quarterback second, has destroyed the coastal elite media. It started when those vicious thrashers pooh-poohed and criticized President Donald Trump for throwing the Clemson Tigers a fast food bacchanalia i...

Joe Ingles Remains One Of The NBA's Premier Trash Talkers
Plodding Australian floor-spacer Joe Ingles is part of what makes a weird Utah Jazz team tick. He’s the only above average shooter in the Jazz’s best five-man lineup—a group that’s killing teams on both ends of the court. But his most important contribution to his team might be his uninterrupted str...

Serena Williams Returns With A Humane Butchering At The Australian Open
Serena Williams played her first tour match since a messy U.S. Open championship loss to Naomi Osaka last September, and had very different results. Today in the first round at the Australian Open, she slaughtered world No. 73 Tatjana Maria 6-0, 6-2....

James Harden Has Reached His Final Form
James Harden is no longer a basketball player. He is a thought experiment turned to life, an answer to the question of what happens when one team gives itself over completely to a hyper-efficient death machine....

The Celtics Aren't Right
The Celtics beat the Pacers 135-108 on Jan. 9. That capped a four-game win streak that was held up as evidence that the Celtics, thanks to a much-needed team meeting after a loss to the Bucks on Dec. 21, had finally rounded into form. Here is what has happened to the Celtics since: a 16-point loss t...

Syracuse's Concussion Protocol Seems, Uhh, Inadequate?
Late in the first half of Syracuse’s big road win over Duke Monday night, junior forward Elijah Hughes drove left against Marques Bolden and threw up a no-hope layup over a soaring Zion Williamson contest. His own momentum plus the combined push of Bolden and Williamson threw Hughes off balance, and...

Syracuse's Elijah Hughes Nailed This Buzzer-Beater From The Goddamn Moon
Syracuse’s Elijah Hughes capped off a very entertaining first half at Cameron with the following buzzer-beater, which he shot from the goddamn moon. Yeah, Zion Williamson’s cool, but can he do this?...

Who Knew It Would Take Jay Paterno To Convince Me That The Saudi Monarchy Is Good And Cool
“Caravans of progress take time to cross a desert of resistance,” wrote Jay Paterno in an op-ed for Arab News yesterday. The self-professed “consultant on politics, leadership, crisis communications and public relations” has a lot to teach us, it turns out. Folks, I’ve harbored a personal “desert of...

Kyrie Irving Was Pissed He Didn't Get The Last Shot
The Celtics fell 105-103 in Orlando on Saturday, and they are, by their own high standards, scuffling. Boston is 25-17, only good enough for fifth in the East. It’s a real comedown for a team that came within a game of the Finals last year without two of their best players. So it’s hard to separate ...

Rams Beat Cowboys With A Star Turn From A Beefy, Beautiful Jon Gruden Castoff
Perhaps when Jon Gruden insisted that he got “a lot of phone calls from people who are dying to come and play here,” he was telling the truth, and those players didn’t mention how long they planned on staying. Even the briefest stints in Oakland appear to be performance-enhancing. ...

Report: Jason Garrett's Contract Will Be Extended To A Second Decade After Second Playoff Win
Dallas Cowboys coach Jason Garrett’s contract was set to expire after the 2019 season, but Ian Rapoport reports that Jerry Jones will extend it after the playoffs—no matter what happens tonight against the Rams. ...

Georgetown Freshmen Mac McClung And James Akinjo Come Up Clutch Against Providence
It took two extra periods of play for the Georgetown Hoyas to take down the Providence Friars this afternoon, 96-90. But the home team wouldn’t have gotten to that second overtime in the first place were not for two freshman sinking two clutch shots, including one buzzer-beater, when the Hoyas neede...

Is Jared Goff Funny? A Brief Investigation
Under the headline “Rams QB Jared Goff is really funny ... if you’re paying attention” ESPN’s Los Angeles Rams beat writer Lindsey Thiry examines how the “tall, blonde, super-cool California kid” under center is actually a secret font of dry humor and witty zingers. Thiry spoke to Goff’s coach, pare...

Dejan Lovren Suspended For Calling Sergio Ramos, Spain Players "Pussies"
According to the Liverpool Echo, UEFA has suspended Croatia and Liverpool defender Dejan Lovren for one international match because of a postgame Instagram Live rant Lovren went on recently in which he bragged about elbowing Sergio Ramos and called the Spain national team “a bunch of pussies.”...

Rick Nash Retires To Avoid The Risk Of Further Brain Injury
Fifteen-year NHL veteran Rick Nash, who hasn’t played since suffering a concussion in March 2018, has retired from hockey because “the risk of further brain injury is far too great if (he) returns to play,” according to a statement released by his agency Friday morning....

Truly Mike Malone Has A Bright Offensive Mind And Must Be Considered For All NFL Head Coaching Vacancies
All I’m saying is, if Kliff Kingsbury and Matt LeFleur* can be hired as NFL head coaches because they once worked with preternaturally gifted football passers, surely Denver Nuggets head coach Mike Malone at least deserves an interview. Let’s see Ryan Tannehill or Jared Goff top this one!...

Cody Rhodes, The Khans, And Chris Jericho Made Their New Promotion Official, And It Could Be Big
The news officially arrived through a pair of statements, a rally outside TIAA Bank Field, and a subsequent press junket, but the Jacksonville Jaguars owners Shahid “Shad” Khan and his son Tony made their bold new foray into the pro wrestling business official on Tuesday. The name of the new promot...