ja Page 509 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Here's JaVale McGee Scaring Random People By Honking A Car Horn
Today's straight-to-YouTube release of Horn Chronicles, Part One (in four volumes!) is just the latest reminder that even though it's the offseason, JaVale never takes a day off from being JaVale....

The Whore of Akron
Last year I interviewed Scott Raab about his entertaining book The Whore of Akron. Dig:...

Lindsay Lohan Is the Only Part of <em>The Canyons</em> That Isn't Horrible
The Canyons opens (and ends, over the closing credits) with photographs of abandoned, dilapidated movie theaters, which would be the world's most obvious metaphor if the film were actually competent enough to be about what it wants to be about. Director Paul Schrader (who should know better) and wri...

3 on 3
Here's the random bit of sports nostalgia for ya. Via Up North Trips....

How Jadeveon Clowney Got Nicknamed "Doo-Doo," And Is Not Sidd Finch
Via Tom Keegan of the Lawrence Journal-World, we get the best detail of Jadeveon Clowney's life yet: He was nicknamed "Doo-Doo" as a child for taking a shit in a swimming pool. It's humanizing, funny, and another reminder that Clowney is not Sidd Finch....

What Might Happen If A Football Coach Coached Soccer
This skit features Jason Sudeikis as Ted Lasso, an American football coach hired to manage Tottenham Hotspur in England. Look at all the differences! It's a dumb premise, but the jokes are legitimately funny. Who knew so many football clubs were just like the Dallas Cowboys?...

The Jag Rag, Jacksonville's Fan Towel, Will No Longer Be Sold
Late last year, we discovered the Jag Rag, a fan towel created by one enterprising Jacksonville Jaguars fan named Bert Sparks who didn't care about the phrase's original definition. We now regret to inform you that the Jag Rag is no more....

The House That Thurman Munson Built
Originally published in the September 1999 issue of Esquire. Reprinted here with the author’s permission....

Melky Cabrera Tries To Throw A Baseball. It Does Not Go Well
Here's the GIF that pretty much sums up your season, Blue Jays fans....

Jason Kidd Will Use The Matrix And/Or Elysium As Motivation
At a screening of Matt Damon's new sci-fi flick Elysium, Nets head coach Jason Kidd told The Source that he loves The Matrix and thinks he can use it (or Elysium) as a motivational tool. The Jason Kidd coaching experiment is gonna be great, you guys....

Mr. Big Stuff (Who Do You Think You Are?)
Another good Reggie story. This one if from Foul Ball: Five Years in the American League, by Alison Gordon, who covered the Blue Jays from 1979-83. Gordon describes herself as “a socialist, feminist, hedonist with roots in the sixties, a woman who had marched against the bomb, done drugs, and never,...

Red Sox Get Jake Peavy In Three-Team Deal
Late last night, we finally got some TRADE FUCKING DEADLINE action thanks to a three-team deal struck by the Red Sox, White Sox, and Tigers. Boston comes away from the deal with the most meaningful upgrade, nabbing Jake Peavy in exchange for shortstop Jose Iglesias and a bushel of prospects. ...

Chris Bosh Gets No Respect In The Russian Nesting Doll Game
According to the Reddit user who spotted these nesting dolls while visiting Russia, Bosh's doll was the smallest one in the set, coming in behind both Ray Allen and Mario Chalmers. That's some cold shit, Russia....

This Is Just The Saddest Thing Written About The Jaguars
ESPN.com will dedicate a blogger to each and every NFL team. Makes sense—fans can't get enough football. Well, most fans. From Poynter's story on the announcement:...

The Man Who Broke Atlantic City
Dig Mark Bowden's 2012 story for the Atlantic:...

Andrelton Simmons Is Good At Baseball Tricks. His Teammates Are Not
Remember that old Nike commercial in which Tiger Woods did that awesome bouncing-ball trick? You know, the one that every kid within 15 miles of a driving range spent the next two years trying to duplicate. Well, a few Atlanta Braves players recently tried to execute a baseball-themed version of the...

Why Your Supermarket Only Sells 5 Kinds Of Apples
Over at Mother Jones, here's Rowan Jacobsen's story about one man's quest to bring hundreds more back: ...

Brett Lawrie Eludes Ghost Man At Third, Gets Out At First
OK, fine. Lawrie was actually trying to record some kind of jump-throw out at second base but decided mid-jump that he couldn't make the play. Instead, he gracefully pirouetted, composed himself and fired to first to get The Flash Josh Donaldson....

Old Man Giambi Hits Walk-Off, Kicks White Sox Off His Lawn
Jason Giambi gave the Indians a 3-2 win over the White Sox with this walk-off home run to deep center field. Giambi, 42, is apparently the oldest man in baseball to hit a walkoff home run, narrowly edging out Hank Aaron by 45 days....