ja Page 573 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
When Is It OK To Give Up On Your Team For The Season?
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Buy Drew's new book, The Postmortal, through here. Find more of his stuff at his Twitter feed....
The Lingerie Football League Hopes Michael Jackson's Daughter Will Help Develop "Future LFL Athletes"
Somehow, somebody at world headquarters of a football league with a fan base comprised, mostly, of dudes who like watching women in bra-and-sport-panties uniforms partake in jiggly rough-housing stroked their inspiration wand and chanted something to the tune of, "We can be an inspirational entity ...
When I Dance They Call Me Kirilenko
CSKA Moscow, Andrei Kirilenko's new professional team in Russia, had its Media Day recently. Naturally, this involved the players breaking into three groups and dancing to Muzak and outdated pop songs on a stage in a giant banquet hall somewhere in Moscow....
In Case You Were Interested In A Book That Calls LeBron James A Whore
Esquire has the first excerpt from Scott Raab's The Whore of Akron, on sale Nov. 15. We'll have more later in the week. For now: "Lord. This is where LeBron James wants to play basketball, in front of sun-dried cretins who must be bribed to act as if they care about the game and the team. ... For as...
Disgraced Ex-FIFA VP Plans To Disgrace FIFA President With "Tsunami" Of Corruption Charges
FIFA, if you are so inclined to take notice, is potentially in the midst of a total organizational breakdown, because we're now hearing what we already knew all along: FIFA is very corrupt. This is a special breakdown, though, because it is one in which the accused person in power attempts to deflec...
The Jaguars Cut An Injured David Garrard Because They're Cheap, His Agent Says
And here we were thinking the David Garrard saga had ended, more boring than an average Jaguars game. But Garrard's camp is still talking trash on the Jags, from beyond the grave. (Or operating table. Whatever.) Garrard's agent says the team knew about the back injury, and released the quarterback r...
Occupy Wall Street In Denver Devolves Into One-Man Kansas Jayhawks Rally
Sorry to say, but with both Morrises and Josh Selby off to join the ranks of the 1 percent, OWS's goal of a total overhaul of the American economic system is closer to reality than another deep tournament run for the Jayhawks....
Hey, David Garrard Was Just Kidding About Playing QB This Year, You Guys
Now that the Raiders want him, it turns out that Garrard's needed surgery since training camp, reports Jay Glazer....
Jay Cutler Has A Message For Mike Martz: "Fuck Him!"
The Bears' quarterback apparently wasn't too happy with something involving Martz, the team's offensive coordinator, at some point during last night's game. At least that's what the "Tell Mike..." part of what Cutler can be heard shouting near the end of this clip seems to indicate. I'm presenting...
Here's To Running Backs Who Don't Run
We're doing a season-long NFL roundtable with our friends at Slate. Check back here each week as a rotating cast of football watchers discusses the weekend's key plays, coaching decisions, and traumatic brain injuries....
No, Marco Fabian, Celebrating A Goal By Mock-Executing A Teammate Will Not Go Over Well In Mexico
Marco Fabian, a midfielder for Mexican Premiera powerhouse Chivas de Guadalajara, scores a lot of goals. Accordingly, Marco Fabian needs to celebrate a lot of goals. On Saturday, for example, he scored a hat trick in Chivas's 5-2 win against Tecos, and had to celebrate three different goals. This,...
A 100-Year-Old Man Has Finished Running A Marathon, Too
First, there was the woman in Chicago who was more than nine months pregnant and who gave birth soon after crossing the finish line. Now, there's Fauja Singh, born in April 1911 and nicknamed the "Turbaned Tornado," who yesterday in Toronto became the first centenarian to complete a race of that di...
The Caps And Pens Were Acting So Maturely For A While There
Alex Ovechkin—who once did this—called out Arron Asham for his post-fight gestures, so Asham fired back by calling Ovie a "hypocrite." Meanwhile, Brooks Laich wishes brain-addled players like Jay Beagle weren't coddled so much by the NHL's concussion guidelines. The teams don't meet again until Dece...
Arron Asham And Jay Beagle Give Hockey A Fight To Fight About
All right everyone, we're about to discuss a hockey fight, so I need you to put on your level heads. There's going to be talk of league office discipline, and a bit about the culture of enforcers, and maybe even a mention of concussions. These are topics that cause otherwise normal individuals to ...
A Not-At-All Homoerotic Tribute To Shoulder Pads
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Buy Drew's new book, The Postmortal, through here. Find more of his stuff at his Twitter feed....
Pete Carroll Pleads With LeBron, Because Apparently The Seahawks Need His Help To Underachieve
Your morning roundup for Oct. 13, the day we learned just how dangerous some sex toys can be. Photo via @PeteCarroll. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....
The Delayed Start Of The NBA Season Gets The Taiwanese Animation Treatment
In Taiwanese animators's perception of the current NBA lockout, commissioner David Stern wields a chainsaw, cries when the Detroit Pistons flat-line in a hospital bed, guards Derek Fisher and gay marries Time Warner Cable. Also, LeBron James wears a lil-boy crown and gets shattered-backboard dunke...
When Jack McKeon Managed Beer-And-Chicken-Lovin' Josh Beckett In Florida, He Locked The Clubhouse During Games
The Boston Globe story on the Red Sox's September collapse included a lot of semidamning revelations, among them that starters John Lackey, Josh Beckett, and Jon Lester ate fried chicken and drank beer while playing video games in the clubhouse during Sox games. Quelle dommage! Apparently Terry Fran...
If You're A Reporter From Outside Pittsburgh And You Want To Ask Mike Tomlin A Question, Make It Quick Don't Make It About Past Losses (UPDATED)
In keeping with the NFL's standard in-season practice of making coaches available to reporters from the opposing city on the Wednesday before an upcoming game, Steelers coach Mike Tomlin did a conference call today with the beat crew from Jacksonville. Well, sort of. He had little patience for any ...
The Tobacco Farmer With The "Ol' Soupbone" And The Baseball Achievement That Will Last Forever
SI's Chris Ballard and Kotaku's Owen Good have teamed up to tell the story of minor-league pitcher Jack Swift, whose last-chance season and remarkable feats from 60 years ago are only now becoming known. You should go read it. [Sports Illustrated]...