ja Page 597 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Everything You Need To Know About The Upcoming NFL Labor War
The NFL season is over! No! NO! NOOOOOOOOOO! Oh, fuck you, God! You've got some nerve allowing late winter, spring, and summer to get in the way like that! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU!...

Jerry Sloan Goes From Re-Signing To Resigning In 3 Days
After 22+ seasons on the bench in Utah — 21 one of them helming winning teams — Jerry Sloan is reportedly calling it quits. He had signed a one-year contract extension on Monday. Gregg Popovich is now the longest-tenured coach in the NBA....

There Is An Army Of Senior Citizens Spying On Kansas Athletes
A volunteer army, with code names like "Red Dog," roams the halls of KU, making sure the athletes actually attend class. Don't fuck with them. They lived through The Big One....

The Guy From The Visa Super Bowl Commercials Is A Worse Human Being Than Initially Thought
On this, the eve of Visa's Never Miss A Super Bowl Club member and moral cripple Larry Jacobson's big day, it'd be a travesty not to mention a new tidbit that arrived by way of American Profile magazine....

Soaring Moments In <em>SI</em> Super Bowl-ese
Sports Illustrated put all their Super Bowl coverage ever in one place. This is good for you, if you are Ernie Accorsi, or something. Otherwise? You get 44 years' worth of melodrama, dated references and similes....

Dan Gilbert Is The Whore Of Quicken
Cavaliers owner Dan Gilbert, the Comic Sans-styled defender of everything holy and Midwestern, runs a business that habitually craps on its employees and customers alike. A business other than the Cavaliers!...

DeSean Jackson: Renowned Punt Returner, Defender Of Bullied Children
DeSean Jackson's punt return once made a grown man strip and a Katie Bakes enter "the penultimate phase of depression"; after yesterday's appearance on The View with new pal "whoopi goldbird," he inspired a bullied child to cry in gratitude....

Jim Gray Doesn't Like Being Asked About His Sources
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

The Super Bowl Week Orgy, Through The Eyes Of An NFL Player
Every player in the NFL can buy two Super Bowl tickets at face value, if he so chooses. All he has to do is contact his club's ticket guy and arrange for the pickup. Some teams require rookies and second-year players to pick up the tickets at a location in the host city. Presumably, this policy is i...

OMG Puppies! And Other Highlights From Signing Day
A recruit hoisted a puppy, a mother forged her son's signature on a letter of intent, CBS made Rich Rodriguez interview his successor at Michigan, and many hats were donned. Signing day! First comes the built-up signature, next comes crushing disappointment....

You Could Win More Super Bowls If Your Coach Were Autistic
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Find more of his stuff at his Twitter feed....

Here's Video Of Last Night's One-Punch NHL Goalie Fight
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Why The Syracuse Point-Shaving Rumor Was Inevitable
After starting the season 18-0, Syracuse lost four straight. Almost immediately, rumors began circulating of a point-shaving scandal involving a number of players, including Scoop Jardine. These two facts are not unrelated....

11 Sumo Wrestlers Involved In (Text-Only) Text Message Controversy
Wrestlers and stablemasters in the Japan Sumo Association (JSA) have long been suspected of match-fixing, but now there might be some textual messages to prove it. Let's hope this doesn't all trace back to a stubby-finger typo....

Here's A Visual Reimagining Of Elway's Super Bowl Helicopter Spin, Starring A Playmate
The fine people at Playboy were kind enough to send along a link to "Greatest Super Bowl Moments With Jaime Edmondson." Here's how they explain what's going on:...

The Worst Men In Sports
Our friends at The Good Men Project have compiled a list of the top 10 good guys in sports. This is not that list....

James Harrison Just Wants To Tackle The Packers Softly On The Ground, Mr. Goodell
Steelers linebacker James Harrison, who was fined around $125,000 for controversial hits this season, proposed layering the field with pillows to prevent player injuries at the media circus in Dallas today. Everyone thought this was just a regular laugh riot....

Last Night's Winner: Goat To Hero In Just Two Missed Free Throws
VCU product Jamal Shuler steps to the free throw line with 6 seconds left, his French team up one. What happens next, c'est incroyable....

1989's Back, And It's Here To Blow Your Mind
Your eyes are not deceiving you. This recently-unearthed photo features MJ, both Kid AND Play, Will Smith, and some random fifth guy photobombing them*. It's stunning in its 1989-ness....

Jay Cutler Is Able To Windowshop In LA Without A Cane Because He's A Quitter
Just look at him, all vesty and smug. HOW DARE HE not limp in public. He's no gladiator. His heart is weak. WEAK, I tell you, like a kitten's wrist. I'm spitting at the monitor as I write this.[TMZ]...