jeffrey-loria Page 1 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
They thought Matt Patricia was an answer
When you’re turning to Matt Patricia, it’s obvious you’re out of answers. You may not even know the questions....
Guardians’ song hits all the wrong notes
Records are made to be broken, specifically any LPs that were pressed of the 2010 Scott Stapp (yes, the Creed guy) song “Marlins Will Soar,” the baseball team song to end all baseball team songs....
Marlins Claim British Virgin Islands Citizenship In Attempt To Avoid Miami Court
If I asked you which MLB franchise is claiming foreign citizenship in a Caribbean tax haven, and is doing so in order to get out of a lawsuit, you’d have answered the Marlins before I finished asking the question, wouldn’t you?...
"Marlins Will Soar" Is The Only Anthem The Miami Marlins Will Ever Need, Or Deserve
When you follow a perennially shitty team like the Miami Marlins, change can feel both sudden and incremental. The single games or plays that torpedoed one season or another in variously spectacular fashion vanish from the memory, if only because there was never anything meaningful to lose in the fi...
Sleazy Dirtbag Jeffrey Loria Sued By Miami-Dade County Over Marlins Sale Profits
True scumbag Jeffrey Loria treated the good people of Miami to one final insult on his way out of town, using tricky accounting to avoid paying Miami-Dade County an agreed-upon share of the profits from his sale of the team. Now it appears Miami-Dade is suing his sorry ass. From a Miami Herald repor...
Report: Jeffrey Loria Takes One Last Dump On Miami
Former Marlins owner Jeffrey Loria, who seemingly did everything in his power to cripple the city of Miami when he managed to scam the city into spending billions of dollars to build him a new baseball stadium, has found yet another way to be a disgusting rich person....
Derek Jeter Has The Keys To The Marlins. Now What?
Wednesday afternoon, MLB owners unanimously approved the sale of the Miami Marlins to Derek Jeter and Bruce Sherman, setting up the $1.2 billion sale to close on Monday, after the conclusion of the regular season. This is Rob Manfred’s wet dream, and the rest of us are just living it....
Jeffrey Loria Uses A Flip Phone
Jeffrey Loria, who is extremely rich in part because of his ability to fleece the taxpayers of Miami in ruthless ways, is also a big fan of flip phones....
Report: Marlins Attempting To Seize Property From Former Season-Ticket Holder
Marlins owner Jeffrey Loria is reportedly suing a Marlins fan for possession of the fan’s commercial building to recoup funds the Marlins say they lost when the fan decided not to continue paying for his season tickets to see his trainwreck of a favorite team. ...
A Comically Low Number Of People Went To The Marlins Game Yesterday
The Miami Marlins employ good baseball men like Ichiro, Giancarlo Stanton, and Marcell Ozuna, yet they’re still a sick sort of joke played on the rest of the major leagues. The fish boys are owned by Jeffrey Loria, a comic book villain sketch of an MLB owner who swindled Miami in the worst stadium d...
Do Jeb And Jeets Have Enough Money To Buy The Marlins?
Yesterday, Bloomberg reported that a group led by Jeb Bush and Derek Jeter had won the bidding to buy the Miami Marlins. But a whole host of conflicting reports indicate that may not be time to say “yeah Jeets” (or, gross, “yeah Jeb”) just yet....
Jeffrey Loria Explains Why He Could Be Ambassador To France
Marlins owner Jeffrey Loria sat down for a lengthy interview with ESPN’s Jerry Crasnick, the purpose of which was to reveal his kinder, gentler side. Most of the interview deals with Loria’s relationship with José Fernández, but there’s a brief aside in which Crasnick asks Loria about rumors that Do...
Report: Trump Signed Off On Jeffrey Loria As Ambassador To France
What’s next for Jeffrey Loria, failed MLB owner, insufferable art dealer, and weirdo who corrects people’s grammar?...
Reports: Disgusting Rich Person Jeffrey Loria Is Close To Selling The Marlins
According to two reports, one from Forbes and one from the Associated Press, Miami Marlins owner Jeffrey Loria is close to selling his team to an unidentified New York businessman, perhaps for as much as $1.6 fucking billion....
Jeffrey Loria Is Having A Bad Day
Marlins owner Jeffrey Loria has had better weeks. Just a few days after Dodgers closer Kenley Jansen reportedly turned down a larger offer from the Marlins to re-sign in Los Angeles, Loria’s personal cell phone number inadvertently made its way online when a business card he had once signed was put ...
Miami Marlins Sue Season Ticket Holders, Continue To Be The Worst
Remember when the Miami Marlins sued Jonathan Vilma because he moved his barbecue restaurant out of the stadium after the Marlins screwed up his food and failed to deliver on their promise of a packed house and booming business? Well, now the Marlins are suing even more people who had the audacity t...
Someone Appears To Be Trying To Hoax The Marlins President Out Of His Job
When the Miami Marlins sent Marcell Ozuna to the minors on July 5, there was more in play than just giving the slumping third-year outfielder a chance “to get his rhythm back,” as Ozuna’s agent Scott Boras said he was told. Whether Ozuna becomes eligible for arbitration after this season or next dep...
Marlins Event Charges $100 To Hang Out With Players, Who Never Show
Here’s an ad featuring Marlins first baseman Michael Morse promoting the “Fish ‘N Chips Casino Party,” where “me and my teammates” will join anyone who puts up $100 to support the Marlins Foundation for a night of dancing, gambling, and entertainment. One problem: the event was held Thursday, and no...
Giancarlo Stanton Ruining Baseballs Almost Makes Up For Jeffrey Loria
Back in February, Sports Illustrated had a neat cover story on slugger Giancarlo Stanton, his injury last season, and the Miami Marlins’ new strategy of not fielding an embarrassing team. For a minute, the article really convinced the reader that owner Jeffrey Loria cared about his franchise. Stanto...
This Post Exists So You Can Make Funny Fish Jokes
Here’s Marlins owner Jeffrey Loria, explaining to USA Today why he needed to shake up his team by doing something as radical as naming his GM the new manager:...