Jeffrey Loria Explains Why He Could Be Ambassador To France

Marlins owner Jeffrey Loria sat down for a lengthy interview with ESPN’s Jerry Crasnick, the purpose of which was to reveal his kinder, gentler side. Most of the interview deals with Loria’s relationship with José Fernández, but there’s a brief aside in which Crasnick asks Loria about rumors that Donald Trump wanted to make him ambassador to France.

Get a load of this:

President Donald Trump reportedly is considering you to be his ambassador to France. Where does that stand?

I used to see him in Yankee Stadium. We used to sit and talk about baseball.

It’s something I’m thinking about. It’s a great honor to have been asked by the president of the United States to do that. I’ve spent a good part of my adult life in France. I went as a junior and a senior in college, and I’ve been back and forth hundreds of times since. I love the country and the culture. It’s something I’m giving serious thought to. It is what it is. We’ll see what happens.

Don’t you need diplomatic experience to be an ambassador?

You just need to have some familiarity with the country and, I guess, a good business head on your shoulders and some degree of success in your life. You’re the representative of the president in that country, and you have to be a liaison with that country’s highest officials and explain what was done or what’s going to happen, promote American business and things like that. If I was going to promote anything, it would be baseball.

This is a perfect example of rich-person brain disease, which convinces all wealthy old men that their massive fortunes automatically qualify them for any job on the planet.

Look, all presidents appoint dumb rich people to ambassadorships (Obama made Dan Rooney an ambassador to Ireland), but it’s still startling to see the thought process behind such appointments spelled out so plainly. This is how you end up with Tommy Pickles in Iraq hatching plans for how to “disrupt” ISIS; it’s how you end up with a secretary of state who can’t conduct international negotiations until he’s had his nappy; and it’s how you end up with a sundowning game-show host in the White House.

Jeff Loria got rich selling art and has since gone on to destroy baseball in Montreal and turn the Marlins into a joke of an organization. He isn’t qualified to do anything but sit in his study, drink expensive scotch, and admire his ridiculous art collection.