jesus-christ-white-people Page 2 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Behold The Pride Of The Ohio State University
Police busted a 1,000-strong block party near the OSU campus over the weekend, and these three young gentlemen — from left to right, Michael Shivak, 21, Matthew Coleman, 19, and Brian Witt, 21 — were arrested on charges of a felony assault on a police officer. No idea how Shivak came out so clean....

Naked Man Invades Home, Steals Prized Kansas Basketball Outfit For Cover
Donald Watson of Springfield, Mo. was charged yesterday for invading a home while naked. While he was there, he donned a former tenant's beloved Kansas basketball outfit and then took off on a police chase; he was ultimately taken into custody after "a run-in with a police dog."...

Kurt Warner Talks Dancing, Theodicy On His <em>Good Day L.A.</em> Interview
Of all places for Kurt Warner to get backed up against a wall, and then repeatedly and viciously head-butted about his religion, a Good Day L.A. interview was not our first guess. But yesterday, the former NFL quarterback and born-again Christian joined Jillian Reynolds, Steve Edwards, and Dorothy...

New Sport's Inspiration Seems To Be Every Sport Ever At Once
About a year ago, some people in Philadelphia convened to create a new sport that is part football, part rugby, part soccer, part team handball, part cornhole, part — actually, it's just a sport clusterfuck. They're calling it kronum. Some of the athleticism on display in this promotional video fo...

We Can Infer From This Video That Heidi Watney Does Not Like Her Food Fried
Baseball's on-field reporters, much like NBA's sideline reporters, are often sent to ask asinine questions and do asinine things on camera. It's a part of the job. Today in Cleveland, as the Sox did indeed crawl their way into an 0-6 start, NESN sent Heidi Watney to try Progressive Field's chicken...

John McEnroe Will Swear At You For An Hour For Just $28,500
There's an online charity open through Thursday that will grant two lucky — I mean absurdly wealthy — people an hour-long tennis lesson with John McEnroe at Randall's Island in New York City. The bid is currently at $26,000. The money will go towards saving the earth (literally, I guess?), so we can...

UConn Provides An Official Celebration Video That Conveniently Excludes Rioting And Fire
A premiere research university like Connecticut has a certain image to uphold, even when its Division I basketball team wins a national championship and the entire student body goes apeshit crazy overnight. At UConn, this video suggests, students join together to peacefully sing "We Are the Champi...

Duke Alums Are Worried About Craziness Of The Young Cameron Crazies
There is a crisis in Durham. Dennis and Elizabeth Chen, '02 and '00 Duke grads and presumably husband and wife, wrote a letter to the Duke Chronicle proposing a Crazie-off challenge to the university's current student body. At the Michigan game on Sunday, the letter alleges, the Crazies practiced th...

The VCU Pep Band Makes Its Director Gyrate Uncontrollably And Sometimes Strip
This is Ryan Kopacsi, director of the very-popular VCU pep band and also, apparently, a male model. He's known around the university and amongst pep band circles for his overenthusiastic dancing and for often removing his clothing during games. At VCU, this is apparently called "TTS," or Time To S...

Barack Obama Is An Irresponsible Anti-American Frat Boy, According To Pro-American Internet Commenters
President Obama filled out a March Madness bracket earlier in the week. Soon after, Newt Gingrich told Sean Hannity that Obama had "this fixation with the Final Four" and Fox Nation posted a story with the headline "Japan Melts, Libya Burns, Deficit Grows ... and Obama Fills Out NCAA Bracket." All t...

Jubilant Nets Fan Does Not Know What To Do With His Hands
The Nets beat the Celtics in Newark last night, 88-79. Deron Williams had 16 points and 9 assists and was 4-for-6 from three-point range as New Jersey won its fifth straight game, and no fan was more enthusiastic about it than this young Polo-shirted man....

Front Row At The Spurs Game Is Awesome Until Ron Artest Spills Coffee In Your Face
This Spurs fan, identified only as "Bob," sure picked the wrong Spurs game to sit court-side for free in a white Oxford! Bob, to his credit, was very understanding about the coffee-in-face situation, even when Lisa Salters attempted to one-up him with yet another harrowing tale of gravity in the s...

The Public Demand To Rip Apart The "This Is Indiana" Rap Video Is Undeniable
So we'll oblige. Now, before you skewer, please keep in mind that these young lads devoted many, many hours into making IU a viral Christian Lander joke. Fire when ready. [Brice Fox and Daniel Weber]...

<em>Step Up 4</em> Starring Clayton Kershaw Had A Disappointing Opening Weekend
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

The Dougie Is Dead, And Drew Stanton Killed It
After a long illness, The Dougie passed away at 1:40 yesterday afternoon. Drew Stanton was by its side. In lieu of flowers, please send ideas for a new novelty dance....

Ryan Zimmerman's Wedding Dance Should Be The Next Dougie
The Nationals' non-Strasburg franchise player attended the wedding of a high school teammate over the weekend, and it was was of those "wacky" ceremonies where the wedding party has choreographed entrances. Zim didn't let them down....

An Examination Of Obnoxious Yankees Fandom In Three Parts
It's easy to say that Yankees fans are boorish and uncouth, but so are most teams' fans. However, nobody does boorish and uncouth on national TV like Yankees fans....

Everything That's Wrong With College Tailgates In One Picture
This picture, snapped sometime before Saturday's Ohio State-Wisconsin game, is so, so bad, it has to be a joke. Right?...

Stereotypical Laxer Is Not At All Stereotypical, Says Stereotypically Annoying <em>New York Times</em> Story
Yesterday's NYT slobjob of professional laxer Paul Rabil argues that he represents "a different way to think about lacrosse players." He's a big shaggy-haired white dude who went to an all-boys Catholic school in Maryland. Wow, what a brogue....

Danny Woodhead: Not Particularly Small, Just White
Last night, as was to be expected, Jon Gruden and the rest of the Monday Night Football gang talked about fun-sized pigment curio Danny Woodhead with the sort of insight and gravitas one finds on the cover of Bop Magazine....