jesus Page 4 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Arsenal are looking pretty tasty
Last August, Arsenal lost their first three matches, by a combined score of 9-0, including ultra-humbling ass-whoopings by Chelsea (just about the only time Romelu Lukaku looked menacing with Chelsea) and City. The Gunners would recover, of course, only to break their fans’ hearts in even more agoni...
Welcome to Blah-gust, the worst time of the sporting calendar
Mark it down: 9:35 a.m. Wednesday, Aug. 10. We’ve reached the peak (nadir?) of sports’ slow season. You know it’s the doggiest of dog days when ESPN is killing time with Little League World Series coverage. No disrespect to the youth, but I’m not going to subject myself to watching children’s athlet...
Now it’s time to get on the Brandon Vazquez train for USMNT
Yeah, I know. We do this every few months. Have for basically our entire lives, except for maybe that brief Jozy Altidore interlude…right until he popped his hammy in Brazil. And we’ll continue to do this every few months for the rest of our lives, pinning our hopes for a genuine No. 9 for the USMNT...
Andrew Wiggins complains about getting vaccinated, incites internet outrage
There’s not a ton to add to the story beyond the headline. Andrew Wiggins, coming off the best year of his career, is still kind of sore that he had to get vaccinated....
Raiders make NFL history again, but it’s another instance of a minority being brought in to clean up the mess
The Las Vegas Raiders are making NFL history again in the front office by hiring Sandra Douglass Morgan as the first Black female team president. The Raiders were also the first team to have a female CEO in the NFL when Amy Trask took on the role in 1997....
This isn’t good for Christian Pulisic
Stages of development aren’t linear, and not every stage as you move along the line are pleasant. As the USMNT has more and more players making their mark in the biggest leagues in the world, one stage before they are main stars on the biggest teams is that they’re going to be shuffled around a bit ...
What, if anything, do we take from the USMNT draw with El Salvador?
Let’s start by not overreacting to a 1-1 draw against El Salvador. It was the same result that kicked off the United States’ Octagonal round of World Cup qualifying. That matchup from last September mattered way more to the US. And the Yanks didn’t score in that game....
The biggest thing to happen to the USMNT this weekend was not becoming the villain
The USMNT played two friiendlies this week, and in a normal year these would be the “World Cup Sendoff” games where the roster would basically be finalized. They would have been a lot more intensely watched by both Gregg Berhalter and fans alike, with the final cuts following soon after. The matches...
Rays of darkness
Remember, not so long ago, that one of the reasons it was thought the Colorado Rockies couldn’t win is because the whole organization was dead set on being a weird religious cult? That’s quieted down in recent years, and it just turns out they’re more of a run of the mill, backward, nepotism lousy g...
I feel great about not trusting the Hurricanes again
The problem with upping the degree of difficulty on your playoff run is that no matter how good you are, eventually you’ll push yourself off the cliff. The NHL playoffs are hard enough as is without trying to navigate them like they were a bar bet. The Hurricanes didn’t bother to win a road game in ...
To the death, then
The only result between Manchester City and Liverpool this morning that would have made it a “title decider” (which is how it was built by every outlet broadcasting it) was a City win. A four-point gap at this point in the season, requiring City to fuck up two games in the run-in while Liverpool to ...
Gary Player wants you to know that Phil Mickelson is ‘being crucified’
I debated between a Lethal Weapon 2 “Diplomatic immunity” joke and a “Maybe we should stop bringing the kids around grandpa” barb to start this story about Gary Player wearing a Saudi Golf League logo during the ceremonial opening tee shots at the Masters and then his telling a reporter that Phil Mi...
Fictional Hooper Bracket: Billy Hoyle is the king of the silver screen
When Billy Hoyle told Sidney Deane he’s hustled players a helluva lot better than him, I was skeptical. How many times can you show up to a pickup game and aww shucks your way into a wad of cash? Well after six rounds and thousands of votes, it seems the scheme is still humming along....
Winning Time: ‘Piece of a Man’ explores Kareem Abdul-Jabbar’s relationship with Islam
What makes Winning Time’s tapestry of stories enthralling is how it reflects the chaotic jazz of our lives. Every character is at odds against the world and themselves. Magic, Jerry Buss, Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, each man is fighting a private war. For many of them, it’s a war of the spirit against the ...
Fictional Hooper Bracket: The Final Four
We got an all-blueblood Final Four. I know we enjoyed Saint Peter’s, but as happy as I am for Shaheen Holloway’s new contract — of course this is yet another example of a college coach capitalizing off of his hard-playing talent for a much better job, but the Peacocks pull their home bleachers out o...
Who are we taking to Qatar?
The USMNT punched their ticket with a true let’s-not-fuck-this-up-royally performance in Costa Rica. So now the attention turns to who are the 23 souls that Gregg Berhalter will be putting on the plane for the tournament. Our intrepid soccer goofuses Sam Fels and Eric Blum have some ideas....
Is the USMNT midfield better off without Weston McKennie?
On the surface, it’s a patently ridiculous question. Of course the US can’t go without a player who regularly plays for one of the biggest clubs in the world, where his manager loves him, and comes up with goals for a national team that still struggles to find them. And to ask this question after ju...
Fictional Hooper Bracket: The Elite Eight
Welcome to the Elite Eight of the Fictional Hoopers Tournament. All the fat and sinew (Sandy Lyle and Steve Urkel) have been trimmed, and the characters left are all from powerhouse pictures. No one has been able to knock off either of White Men Can’t Jump’s main characters (celebrated last night at...
Tis but a glimpse
It’s not official yet. The USMNT still has to dot the i’s and cross the t’s and all that. Which means they have to manage to not lose to Costa Rica by six goals or more on Wednesday. Quite frankly, the more impressive feat than qualifying for the World Cup would be losing by six in Costa Rica, and e...
LeBron’s entire year has been a Razzie
On Oscar weekend, Space Jam: A New Legacy is being honored with a surprising distinction that has LeBron James stans flying their flags at half-mast. This isn’t a LeBron hate space, but we’ve got to keep it 100. I used to joke that LeBron would have been the perfect casting choice for Magic Johnson ...