joe Page 143 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Joe Cole Is Better Than Lionel Messi, Insists Steven Gerrard
You'd think that footballers would learn from their mistakes. But as sure as the sun sets, eggs is eggs, and as sure as Ashley Cole will inevitably end up with his oozing hands dancing all over the wrong woman's naked body......

Joe Paterno And Dean Smith, Going Out On Their Own, Very Different Terms
Observations that Paterno's health — body and mind — have declined noticeably should be heartbreaking. So why aren't we as sad about it as we ought to be?...

Joe Posnanski Brings Himself To Say A Few Nice Things About Mitch Albom
Of a guy he doesn't much like, Posnanski writes: "Mitch Albom inspired me to become a sportswriter. Mitch Albom inspired many of my friends to become sportswriters....[H]e is one of the most influential sportswriters in the history of American newspapers."...

Vows: Tonya Harding and Joe Price
Tonya Harding, a 39-year-old disgraced former figure skater who still has horny fans, and Joseph Jens Price, 42-year-old "real nice, blue-collar-type guy," were married June 26 by Pastor Lloyd Ward of the Community Church of God in Vancouver, Wash....

When Notre Dame Football Players Get Arrested, Touchdown Jesus Weeps
Ain't no party like a South Bend party, cause by the time a South Bend house party gets stopped by police, someone's hand is going to get lacerated and some police officer's camera is going to take a mugshot of Joe Montana's son Nate....

Incongruous Athlete Mix-Tape Theater: Joe Alexander
Hello and welcome to Incongruous Mix-Tape Theater, an occasional feature in which we look at fan-made athlete highlight reels set to wildly inapt music. Sort of like this one. Today's mix-tape: NBA free agent Joe Alexander; music by rappers The Team....

David Ortiz Swears In Spanish During Home Run Derby, Announcers Hilariously Mistranslate
During his first round of derbying, David Ortiz took a break to wipe himself down and sip some of Rafael Soriano's Gatorade. Then he said "pussy" in Spanish, and Berman and Joe Morgan thought he meant something else. Let's break it down....

Dear LeBron: You See This Shit?
Joe Johnson announced he's returning to the Hawks, and he did it via a column in the Huffington Post. I think you and I, LeBron, can do better than that. I've got a proposition for you....

Deadspin Classic: Watch Artie Lange Crap All Over Joe Buck's First Show
The Fourth of July is all about bright, nighttime explosions, and today we give you Artie Lange exploding all over the debut of Joe Buck's short-lived show, The Nepotism and Dick Joke Variety Hour....

Deadspin Classic: Our Visit To The Hot Dog Eating Championships
Three years ago, the former proprietor hereabouts immersed himself in the world of moist sausage and watched as a proud America reclaimed what is rightfully hers: the world championship for cramming hot dogs in one's distended mouth....

Last Night's Winner: Joel Zumaya's Crossed Stars
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like the furies who have dogged poor Joel Zumaya his whole career and who last night may have finally ended it....

Intern Horrors: Joe Buck Edition ... With A Response From Joe Buck
We received an intern horror story this week so delicious that it warranted its own post. Our old pal Joe Buck is involved. So is Joe Buck's sweat-soiled napkin. Allegedly. The story — and Joe's response — after the jump....

Last Night's Winner: Joe Schadenfreude
In sports, everyone's a winner — some just win better than others. Like Chip Brown of Orangebloods.com, who went sources-against-sources with ESPN's college football show pony, Joe Schad, during the Big 12 realignment saga and won the battle of truth....

Lakers Win Officially Destroys Rock-N-Roll
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Renaissance Man Joe West: Umpire, Singer, Attention Whore
Doesn't it seem like umpire Joe West is in the news a lot lately? That's no accident, thanks to his publicist. Yes, an umpire, who's only doing well when he's not being noticed, has a publicist. And a country record!...

Ref Chucks Ball At Walking Orlando Stereotype
Magic fans' paranoia that the refs are out to get them won't be helped by this little incident last night, where Joe DeRosa got into it with a fan at courtside....

Tim Donaghy's Bad Beat Of The Week: An Ice-Bucket Night In Miami
A weekly feature in which Tim Donaghy, the former NBA referee who spent 11 months in prison for relaying inside information to gamblers, tells us a sad gambling story. The standard caveats apply....

Today In Hilarious Baseball Stat-Geek Mockery: Dan Shaughnessy And Pudding
Ladies and germs, I give you Dan Shaughnessy, from his aforementioned Globe column:...

Joe Torre, Foiled By His Own Enormous Hog. Allegedly. GREAT MOMENTS IN DRUNKEN HOOKUP FAILURE
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase four heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

Here's An Exclusive Clip From Tonight's <em>Parks And Recreation</em>, Featuring Detlef Schrempf
Friend of the site Ken Tremendous/Michael Schur/Mose Schrute broke a lot of hearts when he left Fire Joe Morgan to create and executive produce Parks and Recreation, but it's probably for the best....