joe Page 142 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

The Fire Joe Morgan Pledge Drive Is Nearing Its Goal
Ken Tremendous checks in: "$4680 has been donated, so our $5000 is right around the corner." Donate in Mike Celizic's memory to the Dana-Farber Cancer Institute or Sloan-Kettering and send a copy of your receipt to [email protected]....

Albert Haynesworth: I'm Not "A Slave Or Whatever" to Redskins
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Notes, Errata, And A Tip Of The Hat To Hat Guy
A few final notes, before we disappear back to our mothers' basements where we belong:...

And The 2010 Red Smith Award Goes To...
Ken Tremendous! Congratulations. via Edited Wikipedia Page That Will Undoubtedly Be Fixed Shortly....

It's Gallimaufry Time!
If you thought we're being lazy for only doing this once a year, imagine how lazy you'll think we're being when we make one of our entries the......

Little Man, Gigantic Exaggeration Of His Abilities
When Deadspin asked us to write these articles, we went back and forth a few times on the date, and eventually settled on Sept. 22. I'd like to believe that somehow, that's because we knew, or perhaps sensed, that this article was going to be published on Sept. 20....

Reports Of Murray Chass’s Sanity Have Been Greatly Exaggerated
Murray Chass is still writing a blog about how he hates blogs. It's pretty delightful, in an Away from Her kind of way. Sometimes he even writes about baseball. He's usually wrong. Let's say "fuck" a bunch!...

Where Were You (/Will You Have Been)?
Certain moments in our lives we will always remember....

Is This Normal?
There's something in this article that is incredibly weird and scary. So, as you prepare to read it...just be cool. Relax your shoulders. Buy a nice sound machine and set it to "Babbling Brook." Take deep breaths, in through your nose, out through your mouth....

Titties Vs. VORP
Yo, you like tits? Yeah, me too. Titties is awesome....

Let’s Welcome Special Guest Bill Conlin As He Helps Me Criticize Bill Conlin
Junior: Ladies and gentlemen, this is a Fire Joe Morgan first....

Playing Down To Your Audience
Hey, kids — Mitch Albom has some advice for you! And here it is!...

EXTRA! EXTRA! Jeter Has Best Year Yet!
Have you heard that Derek Jeter's having an off year? It's total horseshit! Derek Jeter is the sixth-best hitter in baseball this year. It's completely true!...

Welcome, Strident Nerds!
We are the surviving members of a blog that used to exist called Fire Joe Morgan....

You Wanted The Best, You Got The Best, The Hottest Non-Working Blog In The World...Fire Joe Morgan
Lock up your Plaschkes and hide your David Eckstein bobbleheads tomorrow, shitbirds, because Ken Tremendous, DAK, and Junior return to plunge a pointy stake into the flaccid heart of sports journalism once again. Who's excited? GETEXCITED....

John Salley Story Corner: An East St. Louis Strip Club Horror Show With The Torry Brothers
Every week, John Salley, onetime Bad Boy and currently the arachnoid half of the Spider and the Henchman podcast, will regale us with an amusing and occasionally salacious story from his playing days. Today: A big-assed stripper leaves a mark....

Watch And Hear Aaron Cook Fracture His Fibula
Joey Votto broke Colorado Rockies pitcher Aaron Cook's fibula last night on a hard liner and it's really something to hear. Again and again. And again and again and again. [HardballTalk, video via MLB.com]...

Help Your Friends At Fire Joe Morgan Make Fun Of Bad Sportswriting
Remember: Fire Joe Morgan returns to Deadspin on Sept. 22. If you come across any atrocious sportswriting in your daily reading—never doubt that someone, somewhere, is saying too nice things about David Eckstein—send a link to [email protected]....

