joe Page 144 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Today In Hilarious Baseball Stat-Geek Mockery: Dan Shaughnessy And Pudding
Ladies and germs, I give you Dan Shaughnessy, from his aforementioned Globe column:...

Joe Torre, Foiled By His Own Enormous Hog. Allegedly. GREAT MOMENTS IN DRUNKEN HOOKUP FAILURE
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase four heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

Here's An Exclusive Clip From Tonight's <em>Parks And Recreation</em>, Featuring Detlef Schrempf
Friend of the site Ken Tremendous/Michael Schur/Mose Schrute broke a lot of hearts when he left Fire Joe Morgan to create and executive produce Parks and Recreation, but it's probably for the best....

The (Potentially Scandalous, Potentially Frivolous) Saints Vicodin Lawsuit
So Sean Payton and another coach are accused of raiding and abusing the team's medicine cabinet. And the security director making the allegations is accused of blackmailing the team. Tricky stuff. This calls for a breakdown....

Joe Biden Mourns The 29 Dead West Virginia Miners By Somberly Crapping On Rich Rodriguez
Here's our walking facepalm of a vice president, speaking at a memorial for the dead miners: "They loved hunting, fishing, riding horses and four-wheelers. They hated the way Coach Rodriguez left West Virginia for Michigan." [TNR]...

Stories That Don't Suck, With Special Guest Host
Today, our pal Alex Belth, proprietor of Bronx Banter, is taking the reins. He's selected four stories for your enjoyment....

How Will Joe Biden Manage to Offend Soccer Fans Everywhere?
Joe Biden will participate in the "first kick ceremonies" tonight to welcome Major League Soccer's newest team to America's angriest city. How will he bungle this particular public appearance? Here, a few ideas....

Joe DiMaggio Was A Wuss, And Other Things We Don't Tell Our Kids
Slate compares children's books about ballplayers ("Like many ballplayers, Joe enlisted to fight for his country in 1942") to the biographies written for adults ("[W]hen he concluded that he'd have to enlist … he started to cry"). [Slate]...

Alabama Couple Ensures Child Can Never Leave The State
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Joe Calzaghe's Wagging Tongue Rats Out His Nose For Cocaine
Thanks to a very News-Of-The-Worldy hidden camera "investigation," we learn that the former champ knows an impressive amount about coke. Apparently, in Wales, most of it is "fucking shit." Chalk this up as a life lesson. [News of the World]...

Andre Johnson And Santana Moss Take The Bus
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

<em>Joe Buck Live</em> Pretty Much Dead, Joe Buck Says
Fox's Joe Buck seems convinced "Joe Buck Live" will be canceled, but HBO still hasn't made it official. HBO reps went the "no comment" route when we asked about the show's status. Joe Buck sent us these parting thoughts:...

Baby (Joe) Mauer Gets No Trade Clause From Seattle Family
In the grand tradition of parents naming their kids after sports heroes they can't possibly live up to—and then dressing them up in silly costumes—we proudly present Baby Joe Mauer....

Subliminal Telestrator Messages Get A Lot Less Subliminal
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Yes, Kansas, Let Us Taste The Tears Of Unfathomable Sadness
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Stories That Don't Suck: Self Esteem, Ballad Of Big Star, Fantasy Baseball, Michael Lewis's First First Thing
Every week, I'll excerpt a handful of stories — old and new, sports and otherwise, relevant and merely sublime — that I urge you to read for one reason or another. Send any suggestions to [email protected]....

Stories That Don't Suck: Axl Rose, Hockey Goons, Cassius Bom-Ba-Ye, Dr. Z In The USSR
Every week, I'll excerpt a handful of stories — old and new, sports and otherwise, relevant and merely sublime — that I urge you to read for one reason or another. Send any suggestions to [email protected]....

Today In Hilarious Baseball Stat Acronym Humor
Ladies and germs, I give you Jerry Thornton of WEEI....

Joe Buck, Wife Decide To Spend A Little Quality Time Apart
Fox's everywhere sportscaster Joe Buck and his wife of more than 15 years, Ann, have decided to "take a break", according to his mother, Carole Buck, who spoke to reporter Jerry Berger....

Joe Mauer's Imaginary Contract Has A Lot Of "I"s To Dot
Remember when Joe Mauer "agreed" to that 10-year contract over a month ago? Well, Mauer's agent plans to discuss the matter with Twins management very soon. Maybe. They're very close! (Yeah, they're not close.) [SN/Star-Tribune/NYT]...