Baby (Joe) Mauer Gets No Trade Clause From Seattle Family

In the grand tradition of parents naming their kids after sports heroes they can't possibly live up to—and then dressing them up in silly costumes—we proudly present Baby Joe Mauer.

Mike in Minnesota sent us this image of a family friend's offspring claiming that not only is the child made to look like the side-burned catching phenom of the Twin Cities, Mauer is also the kid's name. Of course, Lil' Joe as I will call him, got off pretty easy when you consider this couple from North Carolina. Dad is a Duke fan, Mommy is a Tar Heel. So they agreed to divvy up the name. Dad got the first draft pick and named his first born son ... Laettner. Laettner Locklear. Why not just punch the mother in the face during labor?

She's no better, unfortunately. She got the middle name and what did she go with? Vince? Rasheed? Dean? Or, heaven forbid ... Michael? Nope. She chose Keanu. Like the actor. It means "cool breeze."

I hope that kid goes to Wake Forest.

Duke-UNC. rivalry helps name baby [Fayetteville Observer, via WRAL]