joe Page 87 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Marcus Smart Ejected From Celtics-76ers For Shoving Joel Embiid Quite A Long Way
Early in the third quarter of Wednesday night’s Celtics-76ers game, Marcus Smart was hit with a soft whistle for contesting a pass to Joel Embiid near the top of the key, with the Celtics up 11. On the reset, perhaps out of annoyance over Smart raising a stink about the foul, or perhaps sensing that...
Giannis And Embiid, Just A Couple Of Giant Space Monsters Smashing Everyone Else Into Hell
The Bucks played the 76ers yesterday, in Milwaukee. The game had an outcome; the outcome had no effect on the standings. I am here to call to your attention the two giant space monsters, Giannis Antetokounmpo and Joel Embiid, who combined for 92 points and 31 rebounds in the game and made everybody ...
Phil Mickelson And Joe Montana Swear They Did Not Partake In Any College Scamming When They Hired The College Scam Company<em></em>
The FBI recently busted a bunch of rich assholes who were trying to get their unsuspecting children into college the only way they knew how: by throwing money at the largely superficial roadblock life had put in front of them until it went away. At the center of this operation was an organization kn...
Wizards Descend On Minor-League Hockey Game To Cause Impossible Goal
The Manitoba Moose beat the Texas Stars 4-3 in AHL play on Wednesday night, but the Moose’s continued dominance on home ice is not the story here. The big news came midway through the second period, when the apparent existence of magic in our material world was revealed to us through a shot by Stars...
Tom Ricketts Blames His Dad's Islamophobic Emails On "The News Of The Day"
Cubs co-owner Tom Ricketts spoke to reporters today in an effort to once again distance the team from his father and fellow co-owner Joe Ricketts, whose racist email inbox was made public by Splinter earlier this month. Tom also offered a wan defense of his father, which somehow culminated in him bl...
Backboard's Kiss Of Death Helps Iowa Defeat Rutgers On A Buzzer-Beater
With just over five seconds remaining in the game, Rutgers’ Geo Baker hoisted up a three-point shot that bounced off the front iron of the rim, the center of the backboard and the front of the rim again before falling through the net to give Baker’s team a 69-68 lead over No. 21 Iowa. The Hawkeyes h...
Alex Jones's Feud With Joe Rogan Is Just As Stupid As It Was Inevitable<em></em>
Like two neutron stars slowly pulled together by their mutual gravity, orbiting around each other before collapsing together and obliterating everything in space around them, Alex Jones and Joe Rogan are beefing....
Joel Embiid Almost Murders Statistician In Quest For Loose Ball<em></em>
Joel Embiid hustled like hell to get a loose ball in the third quarter of tonight’s 76ers-Knicks game, and he endangered several lives in the process. While Tracy Morgan looked on, the Philly big man hurtled straight over Regina King as he tried to save his team’s possession. But when he cannonballe...
Denver's Joe Flacco Trade Gets The Coveted Mike Francesa Seal Of Approval
John Elway has a very poor history of acquiring quarterbacks for his Denver Broncos. This isn’t to say he can’t do it, or that he’s doomed to failure, or even that all his failures to date are necessarily his fault. Maybe he’s been really unlucky! Point is, if you’re looking for evidence that being ...
John Elway Will Trade A Pick He Would've Screwed Up Anyway For Joe Flacco
Last season’s Denver Broncos went 6-10 with an unimpressive 30-year-old quarterback, putting them in position to pick in the top 10 for the third time in the last 27 years. Their poor record, formidable division, and need to actually rebuild would seem to make them a curious candidate to pay up for...
Joel Embiid Ends Press Conference By Declaring That The Referees "Fucking Suck"
The freshly beefed-up Philadelphia 76ers faced a reeling and miserable Boston Celtics team in Philly last night, and thus had the opportunity to put a signature win on their increasingly hated rivals. Instead, they got beat 112-109 (despite the Celtics not having Kyrie Irving on the floor), and Joel...
Adam Gase Is Building A Locker Room Powder Keg With His New Coaching Hires
Adam Gase being brought on to be the head coach of the New York Jets began as an uncreative hire, but has since blossomed into one of the more entertaining storylines of the NFL offseason through his own design. When we last caught up with Gase, his hypnotic eyeballs distracted us from some of his c...
Cubs Co-Owner Tom Ricketts Apologizes For All The Racist Emails In His Dad's Inbox
Yesterday, our colleagues at Splinter published a collection of insanely racist emails from the inbox of Joe Ricketts, the billionaire patriarch of the Ricketts family, which currently owns the Chicago Cubs. Found in these emails is Joe Ricketts expressing his appreciation for plainly racist jokes a...
Joel Embiid, Who Is Joel Embiid: “I’m Joel, Joel Embiid”
The Sixers routed the LeBron-less Lakers last night, 121-105. It was kind of a weird game for Philly. Jimmy Butler played point guard. Ben Simmons played power forward. One thing was the same: Kendall Jenner was in attendance, improving the Sixers’ record to 12-2 when she’s there. ...
Russell Westbrook On If He And Joel Embiid Are Cool: "Fuck No"
Thunder-Sixers has become an inordinately frisky inter-conference rivalry. Last season’s two matchups were marked by relentless shit-talking and mockery on-court and online between Sixers center Joel Embiid and Thunder point guard Russell Westbrook. A lot of waving goodbye was involved. The teams pl...
Ben Simmons Delivered An Extra Defender To Jimmy Butler And Then Went Full-Jay Cutler In Loss To Thunder
The end of the Thunder-Sixers game was an amazing example of some back-and-forth bone-headedness that could only be accomplished with these underachieving franchises....
Master Shit-Talker Joel Embiid Rubs Salt In The Timberwolves' Fresh Wounds
The 76ers beat the absolute hell out of the Minnesota Timberwolves Tuesday night, by the score of 149–107. This was supposed to be the heated and fiercely contested first meeting between Jimmy Butler and his former Timberwolves teammates, but instead it was a savage massacre. Butler was only needed ...
Bucks Owner Marc Lasry Breathes Fresh Life Into The Steph-For-Bogut What-If Scenario
Back in 2016, then-San Jose Mercury News columnist Tim Kawakami debunked a persistent rumor that the Warriors were once set to trade 23-year-old Stephen Curry for Bucks center Andrew Bogut, before the Bucks pulled the plug over concerns about Curry’s balky ankle. As Kawakami laid out at the time, th...
Joe Ingles Remains One Of The NBA's Premier Trash Talkers
Plodding Australian floor-spacer Joe Ingles is part of what makes a weird Utah Jazz team tick. He’s the only above average shooter in the Jazz’s best five-man lineup—a group that’s killing teams on both ends of the court. But his most important contribution to his team might be his uninterrupted str...
Cody Rhodes, The Khans, And Chris Jericho Made Their New Promotion Official, And It Could Be Big
The news officially arrived through a pair of statements, a rally outside TIAA Bank Field, and a subsequent press junket, but the Jacksonville Jaguars owners Shahid “Shad” Khan and his son Tony made their bold new foray into the pro wrestling business official on Tuesday. The name of the new promot...