john Page 210 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Hugh 1: Chris Simms Should Take Notes on Internal Organ Care
No surprises out there so far. Texas Tech has taken the pressure off their kicking game by sticking to touchdowns, rolling out 35-14 before the half and injuring only one side judge. We thought Tech might have to roll out a teenager with a genetic liver disorder to kick after the half, but calm has ...

Chris Johnson's Musical Stylings Not A Hit With NFL
I've always thought that the NFL was a bit stodgy when it came to their touchdown celebration policy; playing the Mr. Belding in the Saved By The Bell that is our nation's most popular televised sport. But that being as it is, there is a rule in place against end zone shenanigans, so the Titans' Chr...

Larry Johnson Makes a Solemn Vow to Not Become Ike Turner
Chiefs running back Larry Johnson was deactivated again this week and addressed his latest lady-pestering incident with the media yesterday and seemed surprisingly contrite. We're so used to seeing troubled athletes mumble through scripted apologies for the sake of their career, it's a little jarrin...

The Rather Remarkable Self Destruction Of Larry Johnson
Details continue to come out concerning Chiefs running back Larry Johnson and an altercation with a woman at a Kansas City nightclub on Oct. 10, and it's interesting, if depressing, reading. Already scheduled to appear in court on Dec. 3 on an assault charge for pushing a woman at a nightclub, Johns...

Hey, Hugh! Hugh Down There!
First thing I learned at internet journalism camp - always bookend an upskirt with a downshirt. Maryland continues to only get up for the big games, winning their fifth straight against a top-25er by blanking Wake Forest 29-0. And Matt Grothe went touchdown happy as South Florida smashed Syracuse. ...

Lou Holtz Is Down With Hugh
So, Lou Holtz apologized for his Hitler remarks from last night. If anyone has video of this, feel free to send along. Another guy who might have to issue an apology (a very personal one) is Terry Bowden, who wrote that his brother Tommy deserved to get canned. Texas Tech and Texas A&M are locked i...

What are Hugh Two Lookin' At?
The big showdown between the Daniels and the McCoys comes your way this evening. Meanwhile, couple of early shoot-outs going on between Syracuse/South Florida and Texas's A&M and Tech, and Georgia is up a touchdown on Jay Cutler's alma mater. Was it obvious there I have no idea what I'm talking abo...

John Madden Getting Sick of Riding Old Bones Across Country in a Bus to Cover Crappy Games
The Washington Post has just reported that NFL broadcasting stalwart John Madden will miss his first week blabbering about football for the first time in 476 games. He's not gravely ill and not planning on retiring soon either, so the Frank Caliendo suicide watch is also put off indefinitely. No, th...

Snip My Child's Foreskin, Please!
So what did we learn today? Other than maybe learning that Mack Brown can win the big games, RichRod can't win the little games, and that taking the points against Utah is wallet suicide, I learned this...and I don't have any clue how to react: Friend of Deadspin and unabashed Tim Tebow superfan Dan...

Hugh Recommends An Assortment Of Beverages
Sports, at the end of the day, is about bringing people together. Take me and Rick, for example. I've know Paulas for all of about 36 hours now, but we've really bonded. We're already at the point in the friendship where we can tell each other Holocaust jokes. How great is that? But anyway, Rick pas...

Hugh: Musberger Doesn't Trust Your Concept Of 'Interesting'
So Brent Musberger tells me, right after Texas runs back a kickoff for a touchdown, "Pull up a chair, folks. This one's gonna get real interesting." Bear in mind, it's a 1-vs.-5 game, and we just saw a fucking kickoff run back for a touchdown. Do I need a rickety old man alerting me to the gravity o...

Talk Hosts' 'Magic Faked AIDS' Comment Not Going Over As Well As They'd Hoped
I don't listen to much talk radio, with the exception of sports, and of course Dennis Miller. So I'd never heard of Chris Baker and Langdon Perry, who have a show on Minneapolis' KLTK-FM. Too bad, because it seems that I'm missing some scintillating dialogue. Like for instance the recent show in whi...

Hugh Johnson Heads to Tuscaloosa
Listen young lady, I don't know how they do things down in Lexington, but we at the Hugh Johnson Project don't really "do" dick jokes. What's that you say? It is just one big dick joke? Well alright then, please gather up some like-minded friends and join us after the jump....

Spartan Football Gets Hugh Excited
Michigan State is looking to move to 2-0 in the Big Ten, and they're looking good while doing it. The Spartans are holding off the Iowa Hawkeyes by a score of 16-13 in the fourth quarter. BC and NC State have slowed down a bit, and the Eagles lead 28-17 on the strength of Chris Crane's 319 yards th...

Uncorking The Hugh Johnson Project
Another weekend of college football has begun, but for once we'll have to make due without the play-by-play brilliance of Pam Ward. Everyone's favorite Hugh Johnson punching bag is off covering the WNBA Finals so this week you'll have to settle for her substitute saying the most ridiculous things i...

John McCain Seeks Debate "Help" From Fellow Rageaholic
If John McCain seemed a little feisty during his presidential debate with Barack Obama last week, there's a good reason for it. His campaign claims that he began taking an herbal supplement designed to "enhance memory and keep energy levels up" in preparation for the showdown. Makes sense—until you ...

Terrell Owens Loves His Quarterback, Not "Sheshawn" Johnson
T.O. would like to take this opportunity to clarify a few things. Yes, it sounded like he was complaining when he said that 18 throws and 2 running plays called in his honor was not enough involvement in the Dallas Cowboys game plan, but he seriously holds no ill will towards his coach, owner, offen...

Hugh 3: Updating The Late Games
No. 9 Wisconsin 19, Michigan 0. Great play in the first half from Wisconsin on fourth-and-short where the punter ran up under center and used a hard count to draw Michigan offside to keep the Badgers' drive alive. Bret Bielema might be the most creative coach in America. And Michigan still sucks. Co...

Olympic Gold Medalist Challenges Chad Ochocinco to Race
Dominating one sport isn't enough anymore for today's athletes. Apparently, if you're a professional football player, specifically an egomaniacal receiver, you think your skills translate to other venues. Chad Johnson wanted to race against Michael Phelps in the pool — not to mention a horse on a tr...

Hugh 2: UNC Steals TD Pass, Game From Miami
UNC defensive back Tremaine Goddard ripped Miami's game-winning touchdown out of the hands of Kayne Farquharson in the end zone. Farquharson had the ball (and the game) on his hands, only to have it pilfered by Goddard to save the game for the Tar Heels, 28-24. Almost as unreal as the video of a Hur...