Hugh 1: 'Welcome Back Nick! Now Die! DIE!'

While Ohio State, Texas and all their rowdy friends are taking care of business, it's a good time to sneak a peek at one of our big 3:30 games, specifically Nick Saban's return to Baton Rouge as Alabama defends its No. 1 ranking against LSU. It's always a fun story when a head coach returning to his former home field with a new team, but the Tiger faithful have packed extra Haterade for this tailgate. Don't expect any of that down-home southern hospitality to find Saban today, as LSU fan Cajun Boy In The City explains in a touching, heartfelt essay.

Here's how much I hate you Nick Saban...If God himself were to swoop down from the heavens and offer to grant me one wish, any wish, that I so chose, I would pass on having him grant me obscene, Jay-Z levels of wealth, I would pass on him granting me a cock like the most obscenely hung woolly mammoth in world history, and I would pass on him granting me the ability to score epic Wilt Chamberlain-esque levels of ass until the day I died at 879. I would pass on everything to get the opportunity to travel back in time to be your mother's OB-GYN at the time of your birth. Why would I wish for such a thing you ask? Well, here's why fuckface...So that I could engage in a Terminator-like mission to find your mother/Sarah Conner and destroy you, that's why!

Oh yeah. This is gonna be fun. Almost as fun as your first dose of Hugh. at the bottom of the Big 10 standings was proof of the conference being better than everyone thinks it is. We did not get a camera shot to see if he had some of Jim Delany's DNA on his face while he said it. —Signal2Noise The ESPN Halftime people just made a reference to Georgia Tech and UNC looking like the Montreal Alouettes and the Toronto Argonauts. That's a depressing outlook for the futures of those players. —Fraganhome What would you say the chances are that the Little Brown Jug, is in fact, full of dog shit?—Anskeyman2004 Mich-Minn is the reason the terrorists hate us, mmmmm....field goals —ScumDog0331 An open letter to Nick Saban [Cajun Boy In The City]