john Page 220 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights


Who's The Next Punter To Attempt To Kill Off His Competition?
AJ Daulerio's Cultural Oddsmaker runs every Friday. Email him to let him know what you think....

John Daly, Still Puffing Along
We don't have much hope for John Daly to make some crazy run to win the PGA Championship, but for one day, he continued to give hope to fat guys who smoke and drink 15 Diet Cokes a day everywhere....


New MNF Booth Just Full Of Giggles!
Newsday's Neil Best documents a happening that seems specifically designed to make Joe Theismann pound his face repeatedly against a wall: a practice session with the new "Monday Night Football" crew. They're having so much fun!...

Being An Obscure Gay Basketball Player Won't Help You Sell Books
It's difficult, in the world of sports book publishing, to garner better advance publicity than John Amaechi had for his book Man In The Middle....


When An Old Athlete Is Put Out To Stud
Nothing in sports makes us feel older than when an athlete retires; often, we remember when they first came into the league, and realize that an entire career has passed while we slowly lurched closer to death. It's an uplifting feeling....

Selig Won't Watch, But We'll Have To
Well, if that whole Barry Bonds Won't Play On ESPN thing turns out to be based in reality, we're all in luck; Bonds is never going to break Hank Aaron's record. Because everyone of his at-bats is gonna be on The Worldwide Leader until, well, until he breaks it, or dies. So, you know, enjoy....

Your Baby Will Cough And You Will Like It
We know the big ESPN interoffice complaint memorandum we posted earlier this week was enormous and unwieldy, but seriously, folks: It's an absolute treasure trove of gorgeous goodness. So, for the rest of the week, we'll be highlighting particularly hilarious and illustrative segments from the memo....

ESPN Employees Need Their Cash NOW
We know the big ESPN interoffice complaint memorandum we posted yesterday was enormous and unwieldy, but seriously, folks: It's an absolute treasure trove of gorgeous goodness. So, for the rest of the week, we'll be highlighting two particularly hilarious and illustrative segments from the memo each...

A Tree Grows In Bristol
We know the big ESPN interoffice complaint memorandum we posted on Tuesday was enormous and unwieldy, but seriously, folks: It's an absolute treasure trove of gorgeous goodness. So, for the rest of the week, we'll be highlighting two particularly hilarious and illustrative segments from the memo eac...

ESPN Would Rather Not Use Their Own Phones
We know the big ESPN interoffice complaint memorandum we posted yesterday was enormous and unwieldy, but seriously, folks: It's an absolute treasure trove of gorgeous goodness. So, for the rest of the week, we'll be highlighting two particularly hilarious and illustrative segments from the memo each...

John Skipper Defines Leadership
We know the big ESPN interoffice complaint memorandum we posted yesterday was enormous and unwieldy, but seriously, folks: It's an absolute treasure trove of gorgeous goodness. So, for the rest of the week, we'll be highlighting two particularly hilarious and illustrative segments from the memo each...

ESPN's Secret Interoffice Complaint Memorandum
Sometimes we forget, in all the frustrations and angst that watching ESPN causes us, that Bristol really is just an office. An office with a cafeteria, a human resources department, water coolers, parking spaces and football analysts who take pictures of their penis. It's like all of our offices. So...

Tank Johnson Is Not Drunk, But Drunk Enough
So, with word coming out that beleaguered Chicago Bear Tank Johnson actually being under the legal limit in his DUI arrest a couple of weeks ago — the one that ultimately forced his release from the Bears — the guy should be out of the woods and all set and good again, right?...

Someone Please Help Lift Up Kruk's Hair
The heroic folks at The Sports Hernia have been documenting the various incarnations of John Kruk's hair this year, from the Barry Melrose to the "perm jailbreak."...

Viva Le Patterson!
After visiting four doctors in four states to cure a problem that could be affecting his livelihood, a man, desperate, decides to head to Canada to receive treatment that the arcane American health care system can't provide for him....

Calvin Johnson Must Be Really, Really Good
...because he has Jon Kitna believing that the Detroit Lions are going to dominate the NFL this year. The same Lions that went 3-13 last year, because of a rookie wide receiver, are going to win 10+ games this year. Mmhmm....

John Smoltz And Chipper Jones Have Beef
Continuing with the Atlanta-Braves-With-Anger-Issues theme, Chipper Jones and John Smoltz appear to be having a little bit of a tiff. Smoltz thinks Jones is milking an injury, and Jones thinks Smoltz is a big meaniehead, and neither one of them will speak directly to the other....