jones Page 80 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Cowboys' Massive New Stadium Not Big Enough To Play Football In
Jerry Jones (and Texas taxpayers) spent $1.2 billion constructing an opulent state-of-the-art multi-use arena that's perfect for concerts, soccer matches, trade shows, Promise Keepers rallies, and even football games—provided that you don't allow either team to punt....
Chipper Jones' Death Ranch Claims Another Victim
A illegal immigrant was found dead on the Texas property owned by the Larry Jones family. (It's eight miles from the Rio Grande and 124 degrees. Do the math.) Unrelated: The Braves have hired new hitting coach Anton Chigurh. [Journal-Constitution]...
Guest Editor Intro: I Am Delusional and I Hate Winners
Good morning, sports fans. You are looking LIVE at—well, at a post I wrote yesterday and put in the can in advance....
Not A Game, We Talking 'Bout Malpractice
Tebucky Jones plans to sue New England's team doctors for misdiagnosing his injuries and ending his career. The Mets' class-action suit is still collecting plaintiffs. [NESN]...
CFL Lineman Sacks Purse Snatcher On Streets Of Edmonton
Because we all need to believe in the power of sport again, here's a story involving an athlete that has a happy ending. If reading about a thief get crunched by a professional football player makes you happy, that is....
A Funnier, Less Pottymouthed Pacman Making It Rain Video
It really shouldn't have taken this long for this to be made. But I think we're all glad it was....
Adam Jones "Makin' It Rain": The Video (NSFW)
We compared the Las Vegas Journal Review's massive feature on the Minxx strip club incident to the Warren Report, but now we finally have the Zapruder Film. Video (that's probably not safe work) of Adam "Pacman" Jones making it rain....
The "Pacman" Jones Strip Club Shooting Gets Its Warren Report
The Las Vegas Review-Journal has launched a massive three-part investigation into the strip club incident that cost Adam Jones a year of football and another man his ability to walk. Oh, the things we have seen .......
$1.5 Billion Doesn't Go As Far As You Think
Martellus Bennett takes you on an informative and possibly racist (just against the Chinese, though) tour of the new Cowboys stadium. Hope you like $14 BBQ sandwiches, Dallas fans! Someone has to pay for those video screens. [MartyBTV]...
Dallas Cowboys Get What They Want, When They Want It
Irving, Texas, officials possibly suspect that the Cowboy's practice bubble that collapsed last month may have lacked some structure integrity. (Ya think?) They're fairly confident, however, that anyone other than the Cowboys would never have been allowed to build it....
One Cowboys' Scouting Assistant Paralyzed Due To Practice Facility Collapse
Two other staffers also required surgery to mend their broken body parts. Jerry Jones was reported to be "somber" after hearing the news. [AP/LA Times]...
It's Chipper Jones Vs. The City Of Toronto. Let's Watch The Fun
If you play for the Braves and you're going to be at war with a city, it might as well be a Canadian one. On the whole, Chipper Jones would rather be in Atlanta....
Matt Jones Released From Jail, Jaguars Roster
Matt Jones was sent home a day early from his week-long jail stint on Saturday. Jacksonville responded on Monday by sending him home from the team, permanently. [ESPN]...
Like Most Gentlemen, Pacman Jones Is A Fan Of The Young And The Nude
Pacman Jones has found himself an ally in Fox Sports 'Jay Glazer, who's almost ashamed to admit that he's become a Pacman fan while taping Pros Vs. Joes with him....
This Boy Will Grow Up To Jeopardize His Job Security Due To Substance Abuse
Something tells me that this little boy won't be allowed to wear that jersey out in public anymore if Matt Jones continues his current career trajectory....
Wake Up, Matt Jones
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....
Pacman Jones Throws Punches On Pros Vs. Joes; More Unscripted Violence Possible
After his first week as a "Pro" taping the "Pros Vs. Joes" show, Adam "Pacman" Jones showed one contestant he's not there to be nice....
Maurice Jones-Drew Might Be High Right Now
The lilliputian running back tells Dan Patrick that he's better than most of the running backs in the league. Oh, and he's also training in Egypt, you know, running the pyramids. What a rapscallion. [DP]...
Pacman Jones Making Most Of His Current Unemployment
So, here's some interesting news. Ex-Cowboys' defensive back/special teamer/trouble-magnet Adam "Pacman" Jones has now signed up for the upcoming season of "Pros Vs. Joes." What could possibly go wrong?...
Jerry Wishes Everyone Would Just Shut the Hell Up
Dallas owner, and noted crazy person, Jerry Jones has issued an organizational gag order to prevent leaks, even the ones that aren't real....