Breaking news says Jose Lima died this morning of a heart attack at his home in Los Angeles. Since his last MLB season in 2006, he had made stops in Korea, Long Beach and Edmonton.[ESPN Deportes]
Yesterday, we posted the email correspondence between us and our new bestfriendf4evah, Melissa Lima, who, for some daffy reason, is having trouble tracking down her ex-husband, pitcher Jose Lima. Many readers have offered to pitch in.
This job, unlike many others in "sports media," provides plenty of absurd scenarios on a weekly basis. But this one, involving Jose Lima's ex-wife, Melissa, thrusts us headlong into Eugene Ionesco territory.
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to email@example.com. Subject: Morning crap
We've had an absurd dedication around these parts with bringing you the latest developments in the career of Jose Lima. Is it his infectious ebullience on the mound? Or the fact that his wife is stacked? Hard to say. When last we heard from Lima Time, he was still whooping it up with the Kia Tigers in Korea. But…
A few weeks ago, it seemed, the world was faced with the sad prospect of bidding farewell to Limatime when reports surfaced out of Korea that he had been released by the Kia Tigers. Mope no longer, lovers of exuberant pitchers with stacked wives, for not only is Limatime born anew with the Tigers, HE A WINNAR!
We feel like we write this every few months, but this time it looks like it's for real. Yes, the Jose Lima Era in baseball appears to have actually ended.
This is a sad thing for us all to come to terms with, but Jose Lima — along with his, uh, ample wife — is not going to be in the majors next season. But worry not: There's always Korea.
So here's a question: Whatever happened to Jose Lima? Everybody's favorite 7.80 ERA pitcher with the rather disproportioned wife seemed to have vanished after being mercifully released by the Mets last year. But you cannot keep Jose Lima down. You underestimate Jose Lima at your own risk.
So you remember that eBay auction last week to purchase the infamous dress of Jose Lima's wife, the one she "wore" when Limatime sang the national anthem a few years back? Well, the final price was $152.50, and it was won by, of all people, the guy who runs maybe one of the top Rangers sites.
As has been pointed out by Fark and a few other places, it appears that the famous dress worn by Jose Lima's somewhat heavily busomed wife when he sang the national anthem a few years ago — she was actually cropped out of accompanying photo by MLB.com, but we bring her back because we are all about truth — is now…
We are far from the first people to scream the genius of Yard Work, but we still kinda want to be the ones who do it the loudest. Calling the site "satirical" isn't doing it justice; the site is brilliant in mad, somewhat terrifying ways. (We were unable to read this week's story about Rickey Henderson in The New…