Lima Time Returns To The States

We've had an absurd dedication around these parts with bringing you the latest developments in the career of Jose Lima. Is it his infectious ebullience on the mound? Or the fact that his wife is stacked? Hard to say. When last we heard from Lima Time, he was still whooping it up with the Kia Tigers in Korea. But America's crisis of confidence is over, our economy ready to reverse course and rocket skyward and shit is ready to pop off, son, because Lima Time is back on our shores! U! S! A! U! S! A!

Okay, so he's going to be pitching for the Camden Riversharks, an Atlantic League team not affiliated with Major League Baseball.

Lima is no stranger to the Atlantic League. After being released from the Tigers in 2002, he used a stint with the Newark Bears in 2003 to bounce back to the majors with the Royals. In eight starts with the Bears, Lima was 6-1 with a 2.33 ERA and 52 strikeouts in 54 innings.

Why, that's near domination. It's only a matter of time until a rotation spot opens for some scrubby team (looking at you, Nationals). And from there, the national anthem singing will commence and there will be a great ogling of spouses. And it will be good.