jose Page 54 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

I Am Jose, Hear Me Roar ... In Spanish
The NBA Closer is written by our Canadian weekend maestro J.E. Skeets. When he's not busy scouring the box scores or hawking merchandise, he can be heard on The Basketball Jones daily podcast....

The Sharks' Biggest Chum-Guzzlers
The NHL Closer is written by Greg Wyshynski, of The FanHouse and The Fourth Period. He is also the author of Glow Pucks And 10-Cent Beer. Enjoy....

Smith Street (NSFW)
This is AJ Daulerio's final Cultural Oddsmaker for Deadspin. Email him to let him know what you think....

Where In The World Is Jose Lima?
This is a sad thing for us all to come to terms with, but Jose Lima — along with his, uh, ample wife — is not going to be in the majors next season. But worry not: There's always Korea....

This T-Shirt Will Inject You With Something
A reader sends in this T-shirt he had signed about 20 years ago. It features signatures from Jose Canseco, Mo Vaughn and Roger Clemens, all three of which were prominently featured in the Mitchell Report last week....

NY Baseball Players Love Dem Reggaeton Beats
Still crawling out of that Thanksgiving-induced coma? Need an activity to help burn a few of those 10,000 calories of food and alcohol you just packed on? Then why not turn up Hector El Father's Pa' La Tumba — complete with Jose Reyes, Melky Cabrera and Robinson Cano cameos — and get your hot regga...

Jeremy Roenick Doesn't Daydream; He's Too Busy Giving Other People Nightmares
• And I'm Not Even Counting The Wraparounds. Nineteen years after he scored his first NHL goal, Jeremy Roenick finally netted number 500 in the Sharks' 4-1 victory over the Coyotes. J.R. became just the third American-born player to reach 500 goals, and ranks 40th in goals and 44th in points on the ...

Farewell, Sweet Sideline Reporter
With TBS moving on to the NLCS, and our pals Joe Buck and Tim McCarver kicking back up in the ALCS, we salute a man we're not likely to see again until next season: The incomparable Jose Mota, sideline reporter from the gods....

Jose Offerman's Lawyer Is Awesome
We are not experts in legal matters — we leave this to Deadspin LLP — but we'd have to think Jose Offerman is gonna have a difficult time convincing a jury that he didn't attack a minor league pitcher with a bat. But what do we know? Maybe he'll use the "I thought I saw a mosquito" excuse....

Adeus, Mourinho
David Hirshey writes regularly for Deadspin about soccer....

The Shocking Jose Offerman Video
As everyone struggles to come to terms with Jose Offerman's blatant attack with a baseball bat on Tuesday, we note that apparently no video of the incident exists. Which is probably for the best. In fact, this was the best we could find. Major League-ready swing, that guy....

Jose Offerman's Comeback Attempt Hits A Minor Snag
As you surely knew, everyone's favorite smoldering volcano of goodness, ex-major league All-Star Jose Offerman, is playing for the Long Island Ducks of the Independent Atlantic League this season. Or, he was, until he went after opposing players with a bat on Tuesday night. Let's see Bonds try this....

Jose Canseco Is Very Cautious With His Speech
Jose Canseco confounds us, because he's obviously a moron, yet he's pretty much the only guy who's been right about this steroid business from the beginning. It's like learning Charles Nelson Reilly came up with some cinematic innovation 20 years ago. Anyway, he's spouting off again, and this time h...

The Mets Show Some Midnight Funk
Anyway, after Shawn Green's walk-off homer last night, the Mets celebrated like crazy people at home plate. Specifically, Jose Reyes did his little boxer's dance at home plate and, most amusingly, Jose Valentin going all caveman on the ground with his bat. "Shawn homer! Shawn homer! Bash! Bash!" Tha...

It's Always Lima Time
So here's a question: Whatever happened to Jose Lima? Everybody's favorite 7.80 ERA pitcher with the rather disproportioned wife seemed to have vanished after being mercifully released by the Mets last year. But you cannot keep Jose Lima down. You underestimate Jose Lima at your own risk....

RBI Baseball, Bracket Style
If you happen to be in the general vicinity of the Comfort Suites Airport hotel in Columbus, Ohio this weekend, do we ever have the leisure activity for you: It's 2007 Ohio National RBI Baseball Tournament. Thar's right, kids: For $100, you can play the world's greatest video baseball game in which ...

Jose Canseco, Keeping Us Entertained For Nearly A Quarter Of A Century
Oh, 'tis a sad, sad day indeed when one is outwitted by Jose Canseco. As SportsbyBrooks so dutifly reported over the weekend, the man who once had a baseball bounce off his noggin for a home run has apparently convinced USA Today columnist Michael McCarthy that his non-existent TV reality show, Win ...

Misguided Sports Sartorial Decisions
Just Call Me Juice is doing a clever series in which they ask readers to tell the stories of their most embarrassing, rueful jersey purchases. Unsilent Majority keeps the series going with his gruesome tale of buying a Steve Spurrier Redskins jersey (with the number he wore as a player), though we d...