k Page 4142 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Closing Time
Due to piss poor time management, today's NHL Closer will once again share a post with college football and basketball. Sorry for the inconvenience. I started playing '1942' on my new Capcom plug-and-play and well ... the red enemy planes kept giving me extra loop power-ups! What was I to do? Not us...
For Your Saturday Afternoon Viewing Pleasure
• In progress — College Basketball: Wisconsin at Texas [ESPN2] • 1:00 — Meineke Car Care Bowl: Connecticut at Wake Forest [ESPN] • 1:00 — Classic MLB: Orioles at Yankees, Game 1 of '96 ALCS [ESPNC] • 1:00 — White Men Can't Jump [A&E] • 2:00 — Classic MLB: Royals at Yankees, 1983 "Pine Tar" Game [ESP...
How Do You Like 'Dem Apples, Riley?
My Christmas holiday summed up in five words or less: Clementines, Toblerones and beer. No joke. A million thanks to Alphonso Jackson, Nancy K. Kopp and, of course, Rick Chandler for filling in while I was gone. Your 'Body Shop' gift certificates are in the mail. Now, on to the NBA Closer!...
Ex-Yankee Jim Leyritz Drives Drunk, Kills Woman
Oh gee, what a glorious way to end the sports year! Ugh. Former Yankees catcher Jim Leyritz was arrested Friday on charges of driving under the influence and killing another driver. He posted the $11,000 bond and was released. (Note: $11,000 can pay for one hell of a cab ride, Jim.)...
About Last Night
What you missed while frantically sculpting a purple Ferris wheel ... • Champs Sports Bowl: Eagles extend nation's longest meaningless bowl winning streak to eight. B.C. 24, Michigan State 21. • NBA: OK, this is getting a tad bit ridiculous. Blazers win their 12th in a row. • NHL: Three shots. Three...
What A Thrilling Sports Week
• You'll actually be able to watch that game tomorrow night. • Man United's fun holiday party. • Kyle Orton is dominant. • This coach is more intense than even Ron Zook. • Roger Clemens "defends" "himself." • Hockey outside? Now we've seen everything. • Bill Belichick, masochist. • Word Of The Year....
To Watch Tonight
What to watch as you realize that you're a myth and Bigfoot is real ... • Boxing: Heavyweights, Dominic "Fainting Spell" Guinn vs. Robert "The Missouri Migraine" Hawkins, Vancouver, British Columbia (9 p.m., ET) [ESPN2] • College football: Champs Sports Bowl, Boston College vs. Michigan State, Orlan...
Ron Zook, Somewhat Less Intense This Week
We will say this: It is unlikely this photo above is going to replace Ron Zook Pisses Intensity Photo....
As If You Didn't Know, That Tony Parker Story Is Fake
We found it odd that the Associated Press, the sacred arbiter of journalism, with tentacles all over the globe, took so much interest in whether or not Tony Parker was sleeping with some random woman who wasn't Eva Longoria. Especially since, as Playboy.com has found, the whole story is completely b...
David Beckham Secure In His Manhood/Wears Ballet Shoes
Yes dammit, David Beckham is a metrosexual. Let him shout it from the rooftops! At last he is free, FREE! La la la la la la (skips away, stripping off clothing). In an interview on British radio on Monday, Beckham not only said that he is proud to be a gay icon, but that his wife dresses him. Oh, th...
Joe Buck Tries Out That Comedy Muscle
This has been up for a while, but we just noticed it: If you were wondering what that "Joe Buck Talk Show" thing was gonna be like, here's a "comedy" "video" Buck made for Bud.TV. He interviews the quite amusing Paul Rudd....
Wait, College Athletes Have Nice Cars?
Anyone who has gone to a university with a prominent sports program can tell you about the experience of seeing one of your player driving a vehicle that you wouldn't think they'd be able to afford. We can all justify it in our brains, hey, they just saved up for it, but we all know better. But do w...
Blog Fight! Blog Fight!
Skeets, who was horribly trampled by adolescent goats while visiting the petting zoo, is still inactive and will be back next week. Today's Closer is written by Rick Chandler, Submersible Operations Coordinator at the Woods Hole Oceanographic Institution ......
Nick Saban, Dancing Machine
Every Day Should Be Saturday has the video: It's Nick Saban, cutting a proverbial rug at some sort of holiday event. It's like watching a young Travolta, really. It's a lazy holiday Thursday present for you....
The NFL, In Short, Easy Bursts
We will confess, on this slow holiday Thursday afternoon, that we are a sucker for Kissing Suzy Kolber's NFL Picture Captions....
The Chief Simply Will Not Go Away
For all the excitement about next Tuesday's Rose Bowl game between our Illini and those suddenly hateable USC Trojans, it has one major downside: Everybody's talking about the damned Chief again....
Buy A Dirty Feller's Beard
The guy in this picture is not famed West F—-in' Virginia fan The Mighty MJD, though we wish it were. It's "bragg-mcdowell," and he's selling his beard on eBay....
Kige Ramsey Gets Out The Vote
He has a comfortable lead in the semifinals. But he is taking no chances. We just hope he understands the arcane, archaic caucus rules....
Jamboroo, Week 17: Your Holiday Hangover, Featuring The Dreaded Nanking Special
Big Daddy Drew's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo previews the upcoming weekend of the NFL every, well, every Thursday afternoon....