k Page 4198 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
You Can't Put A Price On A Lifetime Of Wisdom
We always support those who want to give back to the community and charitable organizations, particularly when that charitable donation involves spending an hour absorbing information directly from the brain of Isiah Thomas....
Michael Vick Has Bad Luck With Pets
Michael Vick, you bastard! You moved the headstones, but you didn't move the graves! You didn't move the graves!...
When It's Time For Mr. Met To Party, It's Time To Party Hard
You thought A-Rod was the only New York baseball personality out partying with attractive ladies all weekend? You clearly forgot about Mr. Met....
A-Rod Has Sexual Urges, Apparently
Remind Alex Rodriguez, once again, why he decided to come to New York? As if matters weren't disastrous enough in The Bronx right now, it appears everybody's favorite sensitive boy has been gallivanting around Toronto with buxom blondes who aren't his wife. We know! We're as shocked as you! A Major ...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch as the jerk store calls to say they're running out of you ... • MLB: San Francisco at New York Mets. Willie Mays' loyalties are divided. [ESPN] • NBA: Playoffs, Eastern Conference finals, Game 4, Detroit at Cleveland. Remember when Shaq and Kobe used to play games in late May? [TNT] • ...
Hey, Better Than Shaq And The Fu-Schnickens
From our pal Orson at The Fanhouse comes this old promotional video for the Chinese table tennis team. (And don't you dare let us catch you trying to call it "ping pong." These young ping-pongers — dammit! — have a flow quite dope. And they seem very happy to be rapping, that's for sure....
Roll On, Big Cheese, Roll On
If it somehow slipped your mind that Monday was the annual Gloucestershire Cheese Roll, don't worry; we're on the story. In the interests of full disclosure, though, we have to tell you that the video above is from last year's event. For this year's results, go here. So much to love in the video, ho...
Not The Best Weekend For The UFC
Like a lot of sports fans, we only recently started keeping an eye on this whole UFC business, approaching it gingerly, with as much optimism as one can have for anything that prominently features Joe Rogan. The last two weeks have been a blitz of positive publicity, with an oddly fawning Sports Ill...
We Hope You Nailed The Exacta
At the Hollywood Park horse racing track over the weekend, they tried the above gimmick. Ignoring the rather disturbing "bikini women as racing animals" undertone — the runners don't even seem to have names, including "Blazin' Blondie" and "Kieska" — we can't quite get past the announcer's "most of ...
How To Detract Attention From Your Attractive Teenage Daughter
Problem: Nasty bloggers are spreading your 18-year-old pole vaulting daughter's picture across the Internets. (They can send all the letters to Ufford they want, but you can still find the picture here and here and about a million other places.) Solution: Scream your lungs out about it on the front ...
About Last Night
What you missed while enjoying the new side of Darth Vader... • NBA: Spurs lead Jazz 91-79 after three quarters in their ... wait, what? That's a final? • NHL: Year of the Duck ... Anaheim takes 1-0 lead over Senators. • MLB: Milestone for the Braves! No, Cox wasn't ejected; it was Jones' 350th home...
Stanley Cup Finals Pants Party: Ducks Vs. Senators
We're taking Memorial Day off, as you've surely noticed — though we're excited LeBron and the Jazz have given us something to pay attention to — but we are doing one post: A preview of the Stanley Cup Finals. They drop the puck tonight at 8 p.m. ET, with the Anaheim (Not Mighty) Ducks against the Ot...
Surprisingly, Norm Stewart Doesn't Speak Jive
Not that the black people in the video have anything to be particularly proud of, but ... Dear Lord, the white people. Coach Norm Stewart raps, and he's not the worst one. Greg Church, you're going to burn in hell for this....
We Miss You, Bo
• A fantastic article on Bo Jackson, courtesy of PeteJayhawk. [KansasCity.com] • This will make UCLA fans proud. I think the jackhammer is a metaphor for something. [Bruins Nation] • I will not apologize for enjoying watching Maria Sharapova curse. [YouTube] • Some issues facing the UFC. [100% Injur...
For Multiple Reasons, Your Jose Canseco Rated Rookie Card Is Worth Nothing
I imagine there are a lot of Deadspinners out there who collected baseball cards in the late 80s and early 90s, the height of the baseball card collecting boom ... the time of Upper Deck, Score, the extra-long Bowmans that didn't fit into the plastic sleeves, etc. And, of course, the infamous "fuck ...
It Must Be Hard To Find A Reliable Source In Dogfighting
ESPN's "Outside the Lines" has an anonymous guy who was willing to tell tales of Michael Vick's dog fighting involvement. The man's a 30-year dog fighting veteran who's telling his tale in the hopes of legitimizing the "sport." He says of Vick:...
Small Cars Going In Circles, Because Peyton Manning Said They Could
The Indianapolis 500 is underway, and if the fact that I haven't mentioned until over an hour after it started seems to give an indication of my interest level in the race ... it probably does....
Rampage Jackson Will Knock You Out And Hump Your Leg
(UPDATE: That video is dead... but you can see it here. You should probably hurry.)...
Hopefully, Tim Duncan Suffers From Cyanophobia
A fear of the color blue is what we're counting on to tighten this series up. The attire of the fans in Salt Lake City is the focus of the AP article previewing Game Three of the Spurs/Jazz series. Everyone in Energy Solutions arena will be decked out tonight in "True Blue" shirts that will, I don't...