k Page 4203 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Michael Jordan Ready To Bag Champaign Coeds
Beware, Alpha Phis gallivanting around at Kam's or C.O.'s: Michael Jordan's gonna hit your campus soon, and he doesn't care for your "no cigar smoking inside" rules....
This Is Why We Should Arm All Umpires .. And Mascots
You know what would make baseball even more popular? Regularly scheduled gunfights! In East Texas, a rec league game turned into a hail of buckshot....
Lakers Make It Just Interesting Enough To Ultimately Disappoint
In a way, we kind of agree with what Free Darko wrote in their playoff preview for us: This could end up being the one playoff series in which, if the Lakers lose, Kobe Bryant might get a pass. But he's not gonna be able to pull it off if the Lakers, you know, actually make it close. A four-game swe...
As The Old Joke Goes, She's Out With A Womb
Considering we don't, you know, pay all the collegiate athletes who bring in so much money for their universities, an athletic scholarship is the holy grail, the precious, the one benefit to spending so much time training and sweating. So one can't lose it, lest the whole matter go to waste....
If You're Not Drafted Saturday, Friends, Don't Worry!
Before anyone gets too excited about the draft this Saturday, the Hall Of Fame Magazine cautions you to remember some of the great NFLers who were never even drafted. They include:...
"No, I Said HOLD The Mayo!"
According to CNN, the five most dangerous jobs in America are:...
He Doesn't Give A Damn, Sing Whatever You Want
This somewhat old — from October — video, via Every Day Should Be Saturday, features two, um, casual Oklahoma State fans just kind of chilling, not giving a damn....
Michael Vick Likes To Watch Dogs Kill Each Other
You know, as his "career" "progresses," we're starting to realize that Michael Vick's whole Ron Mexico imbroglio is among his least offensive incidents. (Because there's nothing offensive about herpes. Nothing!) It appears that Mr. Mexico has been accused of hosting illegal dog fights at an abandone...
Ian Eagle, DANCE OFF
When NBA TV cut back a little early to Ian Eagle and Dr. Jack Ramsay during the Wizards-Cavaliers game yesterday, they caught Eagle, clearly lacking conversation from Dr. Jack, making sure to give himself up to the commercial break dance party....
Warriors Were Closer Than You Probably Think They Were
The final score might not have been indicative, but anyone who watched that Dallas-Golden State game last night knows that the Warriors had every opportunity to make this a 2-0 series last night. Something — whether it's pace, or just Avery Johnson being a bad playoff coach — about the Warriors fall...
You Know This Isn't Real, Because No One Gets This Excited In Utah
This is a famous video of a rather disturbed German child having difficulty playing an online game — it makes us want to duck under our desk — but one inventive Jazz fan has imagined the German phrases he's spewing are actually rants about the Jazz-Rockets game from the other night....
Seriously, Arkansas Fans Are Insane
We're not sure the true historic nature of what's going on at the University of Arkansas is being adequately appreciated. Basically, a bunch of ticked-off message board fans are doing everything they can to take down the athletic department of their university ... and they're doing a damned good job...
Michael Bloomberg Cannot Be Bothered With Your 'Hockey'
Let it be known that Michael Bloomberg is a serious man with many important papers on his desk, and that his office has wood paneling and various brass fixtures. This leaves him little time for traditional sports wagers with other, lesser mayors....
One Terrifying Ebay Discovery, A Few Months Later
So all you want to do is go to see your beloved Georgia Bulldogs play in the Chick-fil-A Peach Bowl against the Virginia Tech Hokies. You hop on eBay and buy a pair of tickets, go to the game and watch your team win. All is well....
What's Going On Over There With Colorado State?
Lots of Colorado State in the news today: Rams forward Xavier Kilby — awesome name, by the way; sounds like a villain from The Avengers — settled a dispute with a teammate by firing himself a weapon next to his head....
Harvey Keitel And Derek Jeter, Together At Last
So here's that new Gatorade commercial starring Derek Jeter, John Lackey and the shriveling, dying vessel that once contained Harvey Keitel. We applaud the somewhat innovative ad, but, frankly, we would have enjoyed it much more if, upon spotting Jeter, Keitel had recreated his character from Bad Li...
Oh, That Ref Is Just Playing Hard To Get
On the list of things that you would never imagine being against the rules until someone actually does it, this would have to be pretty high up there....
The Royals Can't Even Accept Charity Anymore
Is Torii Hunter about to be banned by Major League Baseball for the next three years? Well, probably not, but he certainly could be....
OK, Get Up, Walk It Off
We don't mean to imply that maybe four-year-olds shouldn't be on the field during college football scrimmages ... but yipes....
Jerry Sloan Is Making His Players Cry
The Utah Jazz — our official Western Conference adopted team for the NBA Playoffs, and not just because of Deron Williams and Dee Brown — are in some serious trouble after their loss to the Rockets last night. Utah is down 2-0 in the series — as is Orlando after last night, but no one suspected that...