"No, I Said HOLD The Mayo!"

According to CNN, the five most dangerous jobs in America are:

• 1. Logging workers. • 2. Airline pilots. (!!!!) • 3. Fishers and fishing workers. • 4. Structural iron and steel workers. • 5. Refuse and recyclable material collectors.

Naturally, next year's numbers will look decidedly different, with the addition of "personal chef to a professional athlete."

A witness says the stabbing victim is 33-year-old Alonge McClaid, who was recently hired by Timberwolves guard Ricky Davis as a personal chef. The witness says McClaid stumbled out of the elevator and staggered into the lobby after being stabbed in the abdomen McClaid's injury is so severe that he remains still hospitalized at HCMC a day later. Sources close to the investigation tell us one of Davis's friends inside of the apartment instigated the confrontation. Words escalated first into a fist fight that others in the apartment broke up; then a second scuffled erupted; and finally a third fight, this time with a knife.

The victim's mother says Davis had nothing to do with the incident, but we'll guess that McClaid, all told, wishes he had accepted that job offer from Jm J. Bullock.

Being A Personal Chef Is Dangerous [Foul Balls]