k Page 4204 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Brent Musburger, Public Nuisance
Thanks to The Mighty MJD, who directed our attention to this: ABC sportscaster Brent Musburger was ticketed last Saturday for drinking beer in his car. Directly after the Nebraska-Pittsburgh game — about which a Nebraska fan commented, "I think a lot of people needed a drink after that game" ... a...

The NFL Wouldn't Let Us Give Money
Like all of you, we're sure, we were moved and stirred by the NFL's selfless Katrina Telethon last night. John Elway, answering phones! Frank Gifford! Danny Kanell! We were touched by the willingness of such sainted former football players to roll up their sleeves and pitch in; they were answering...

About Last Night ...
So, once again you've awakened at the bottom of the neighbor's empty koi pond. We'll get you up to speed ... • NFL: Redskins come back to nip Cowboys: Parcells seems like 90 years old, doesn't he? • MLB: Back by popular demand, the Red Sox curse: Yankees cut Boston's lead to a half game. • NFL: Sain...

NFL Does What It Can To Ape Jerry Lewis
Well, if you're excited about the doubleheader of NFL games tonight, you should stop it, because tonight is not about football, it's about the hurricane, so stop smiling and having fun and checking your fantasy team and enjoying the games. The NFL will have none of that....

To Watch Tonight ...
What to watch as your old high school gym teacher shows up on your porch and demands pushups ... • MNF: Saints at Giants. The hurricane just may have saved Jim Haslett's job. So that's something, anyway. [ABC] • MNF: Redskins at Cowboys. Stop by Jerry Jones' skybox and compliment him on his facelift...

Dead. Man. Walking.
We're watching Vikings coach Mike Tice on ESPN News right now, and it's making us sad. He started his press conference swaying back and forth, like a kid in desperate need of Ritalin, and in the next sentence, he compared his players to sailors vomiting off the side of a ship and called himself a ...

Leftovers: Don't Mess With Texas
• Texans fire offensive coordinator Chris Palmer. Yeah, that'll turn the tide.* [KSPN • K State RB Thomas Clayton knocks over a couple of guys and speeds to daylight — in a car. [Tony's Kansas City] • Ronaldinho selected world player of the year. There'll be dancing in the streets of Rio tonight! Um...

Laveranues Coles: Stepping Stone To A Gay Athlete?
Is Laveranues Coles' admission that he was sexually abused by his stepfather the equivalent of a professional athlete coming out of the closet as a gay man? We wouldn't think so, but OutSports' Cyd Zeigler Jr. says they're more similar than you think....

Today In Oddjack
What you're missing over at Oddjack, the site for both the discerning speculator and the degenerate gambler ... • Hitching your wagon to Cadillac Williams' star. • So, did you bet that Jim Haslett would be the first NFL coach to lose his job? Wrong, hurricane-breath. • Enjoy the good will, Saints, b...

On The DL: That Drunk, Impregnating Farnsworth
It's time for installment No. 2 of our three-part series revealing the athletes behind some of On The DL's blind-items. Last week, we found out that the ladies say Cubs second baseman Todd Walker loves to flash his wedding ring at strip clubs. Today's blind item: I'm Ok, I sWaRe...:...

The Minimum Wage Of The Newark Bears
We've had a grand time this morning flipping through the newest issue of New York magazine and its Salary Issue. Essentially, it looks at all different fields and examines how salaries compare to each other, and sports is one of its most entertaining entires. We have our doubts about a few of the ...

Blogdome: PBR Me ASAP
• How can you not root for a golfer who wears a Pabst Blue Ribbon hat? [The Mighty MJD • Page 2 is beginning to make us cry. [Off Wing Opinion] • A tribute to Reggie White that, mercifully, doesn't include blatant homophobic rants. [Black Athlete] • The St. Louis Rams: The most dysfunctional franchi...

Mike Wallace's Dogged Pursuit For Truth
We will confess confusion about "60 Minutes" decaying muckraker Mike Wallace's strange obsession with Dolphins running back Ricky Williams. After his infamous interview last year — in which Wallace all but asked Ricky where he could score some good weed — last night's revisit with Williams consist...

Jose Canseco, Professional Wrestler (Of Course)
We're not even going to pretend to be surprised here: Jose Canseco is rumored to making an appearance at Wrestlemania this spring. Perhaps it is telling that the people who are most concerned about this development are not baseball fans, but wrestling fans. Seems like the WWE — remember, that's wh...

NFL Roundup: Daunte's Blues
• If you somehow were able to make an emotionless, painless robot clone of Bea Arthur, and you pounded that clone in the face with a polo mallet for 25 minutes, then slammed that head in a car door 15 times, then severed the head with an exceptionally long and sharp toenail, then put the head in a...

Week In Deadspin: We All Wear Masks
• Ed Hochuli ... JACKED UP! • Baseball players need motivational posters too. • John Marvel did not shoot pepper spray on you in a parking lot, so stop asking. • Tom Brady tried to get it on with an Olsen twin. That's awesome. • We repeat: Bill Simmons got his first boner from Cheryl Ladd. We just...

To Watch Tonight ...
What to watch as Michael Moore sneaks in the back door and raids your fridge ... • MLB: A's at Red Sox. If you notice the Yankees getting larger, that's because they're only 1 1/2 games back. [ESPN] • When golf and women collide: LPGA John Q Hammons Hotel Classic. [The Golf Channel] • Contributing t...

Leftovers: Take This Job And Shove It
• There is nothing more dangerous than an angry man in compression shorts: Lance Armstrong re-retires. [Instant Punditry] • Kim Clijsters' coach quits, perhaps in a huff, we're not sure. [tennisace] • Fantasy Prison Camp: Former Braves pitcher sent to the Gray Bar Hotel. [Atlanta Journal-Constitutio...

Today In Oddjack
What you're missing over at Oddjack, the site for both the discerning speculator and the degenerate gambler ... • If I Were King of the Forest: Pick the Lions over the Bears. Oh my. • Al Groh, you have failed us for the last time: Take Syracuse and the points vs. Virginia. • And just like that, it's...

Blogdom's Best: Milwaukee Brewers
More than any other sport, baseball lends itself to individual blog obsession. Every Major League Baseball team has several blogs obsessed with chronicling the ins-and-outs of everything. Deadspin salutes these modem-addled souls and proudly presents Blogdom's Best, given to the most outstanding b...