Fun With Rampant Irresponsible Steroid Speculation!

Rangers "closer" Eric Gagne is hurt again — this time it's his hip — and his impending absence allows everyone, once again, to play the great early-season He's Hurt Because He's Off Steroids Now game. It's fun because we have no idea!

Some early season suspicions include:

• Gagne. • Mark Prior. • Jason Schmidt.

And that's just the pitchers, and we're not even counting Roger Clemens yet. It is comforting, in a way, to be able to act as if injuries have some natural, reasoned ancestor, particularly if it's a salacious one. This is the mess we have been handed, so it's little wonder we grasp. We're probably right more often than we even realize.

Gagne Hurt. We're Shocked! [Rumors And Rants]