k Page 4276 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
One Awfully Strange Way Of Celebrating
We don't know how we missed this the other evening, but apparently, with seconds left and the Mavericks all set to celebrate, coach Avery Johnson ran down the bench to make a substitution. In all his excitement and hurry, he appears to have pulled a Reggie Evans on Josh Howard....
The Closer: Mets Host Enormous Sleepover
Notes from a day in baseball:...
ESPN Rocks Down Alison Road
An intrepid tipster sends us this beauty of an invite, encouraging ESPN employees to come to the Bristol cafeteria this Friday for that "Mike And Mike In The Morning" wedding and see the Gin Blossoms rock the buffet line like it has never been rocked before....
Mariotti Now Universally Acclaimed As Lazy, Slobbish, Gassy
It's tough to decide whom to dislike more: White Sox catcher AJ Pierzynski or Chicago Sun-Times and "Around The Horn" gasbag Jay Mariotti. Particularly if you're a Cubs fan. After the big interleague tussle last weekend, Pierzynski was on "Pardon The Interruption" yesterday and went after Mariotti...
Seminoles Institute New "Anti-Cocaine" Policy
Some bad news for Jon Kreft, that Florida State recruit who was arrested for having cocaine in his ass (that's a crime??!!): The Seminoles have rescinded their scholarship offer. He clearly has failed to met the exemplary moral standards expected of the students of Florida State University....
At Last, Nash And Nowitzki, Together Again
While trying to find video of a time when Mavericks coach Avery Johnson's voice was deep — we imagine it just one day rising, like reverse puberty — we came across this apparent promotional video for the Mavs. "The Avery Bunch" are heading to the Western Conference Finals, where they will face the P...
Hasselhoff, Nowitzki Lead Mavs Past Spurs
Boy, man, is Mark Cuban's billion-dollar penis ever gonna come out and play tonight....
It's Western Conference March Madness
We know a few people, Midwesterners, mostly, sometimes with their own little biases, who claim to love college basketball but are left cold by the NBA. We don't understand this, but even they can't deny the beauty of tonight: Two games, both elimination, winners play each other in the conference fin...
The Pain Of Life As A Royals Fan
We watched all three Cardinals-Royals games over the weekend, on the Royals television affiliate — which had a charming, low rent, public access, Wayne's World feel — and we can say with as much certainty as we can muster that the Royals are the worst team we've seen in a long, long time. It's not...
It's All About That Inside Post Position
Jon Kreft is a seven-foot-tall, Uwe Blab of a center, and he's the top recruit coming to Florida State next year....
They Shoot Theismann, Don't They?
The news appears to be improving for Barbaro, the Kentucky Derby winner who went down during the Preakness with a broken hind leg. Not since that Joe Theisman video did we recoil quite so much during a sporting event (we were all sad when they had to shoot Joe in the lockerroom afterwards, weren't...
The Closer: Mr. Met Kicks Some Cross-Town Booty
Notes from a day in baseball:...
I Believe Dirk and David Hasselhoff Would Approve
I feel like I've seen enough "Lazy Sunday" parodies to last me for the rest of my life. I appreciated the original SNL bit as much as anyone, but at some point, it turned into nothing more than a license for young white people to make their own rap videos. Rarely will any good come from that....
Wichita State Needs A New Mascot
They're not renaming themselves, thankfully, they just want to replace the guy on the left there. When I first saw the headline, I feared that the people at Wichita State had gotten tired of all the jokes that make people like us so happy. But that's not the case, and besides, changing to somethin...
We're Goin' Streakin'!
A reader sent in a tip regarding a streaker at the Royals/Cardinals game Friday night. The streaker, a tattooed, mohawked Cardinals fan in boxer shorts, stole the 1985 Royals World Series flag, ran into left field, and, according to the tipster, was then beaten down by a combination of police, the...
Revisiting The Chicago Bitch Slap
Clearly, there are not many people out there who feel bad about A.J. Pierzynski getting punched in the face. Sporlitics thanks Michaell Barrett for "doing something the rest of the world has wanted to do for a long, long time." They also provide a brief list of reasons why Pierzysnki deserved to b...
Barbaro Cheats; Injures Leg; Will Be Served Later With Fried Rice
The Preakness has come to an end, and there was very little drama involved in determining that there will not be a Triple Crown winner this year. Barbaro jumped out of the gate early and tried to get a head start. He had to be calmed a little bit, and they got him back in the gate. When they start...
If You Want To Throw Down In Fisticuffs, Fine.
White Sox catcher A.J. Pierzynski plowed into Cubs catcher Michael Barrett at the plate, and Barrett felt that it was an inappropriate touch. He got up, wrapped Pierzynski up in a little hug so they could chat for a quick second, and then he popped him in the face. It was a short right cross that ...
And The Ones Get Sevens...
Screw "About Last Night!" After a night of basketball like that, it can be demoted to the two-spot......
Week In Deadspin: You're With Us, Neil
• Dirk Nowitzki loves David Hasselhoff. • Even with no mullet, we'll still miss Doug Flutie. • Neil Everett has balls of steel. You're with us, Neil! • Hey, look, it's the Atlanta Hawks mascot on a moped. • Ron Zook rocks your ass into next Tuesday. • College baseball's version of Sofia Coppola (t...