kansas-city Page 46 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Kyle Davies's Year Goes From Worst To Worster
Kind of a shitty week for Kyle Davies. He went on the disabled list. Wednesday he was cut by the Royals. And now it turns out he was arrested the day before, for disorderly intoxication....

The Kansas City Royals Tarp Crew Is More Entertaining Than The Kansas City Royals
Speed and agility are probably not absolute requirements for employment on the Kansas City grounds crew, but they may come in handy during life- and pride-threatening situations such as this one. Grace, however, does not seem to be in high demand....

Kansas City's MLS Team Compiled Laughable, Stereotype-Filled Video To Introduce Its Canadian Opponent
This introduction video, via KCKRS, is perhaps the greatest semi-official compilation of cheap Canadian stereotypes known to man....

The Walk-Off Balk Is The Least Exciting Non-Play In Baseball
Your morning roundup for July 5, the day a monkey stole our camera....

Even These Freaks Have More Business On A Baseball Field Than Jeff Francoeur
Your morning roundup for June 28, the day we celebrated an extinction. (Photo of Cirque Du Soleil throwing out the first pitch at the Padres game via Getty Images.)...

NFL Is Surprisingly Uncool With Its Players Appearing In Uniform Advertising "Pornstar Exxxtravaganza"
To be fair, those five players are Brandon Flowers, Eric Berry, Kareem Jackson, Jacoby Ford, and Major Wright, and we're willing to bet most potential patrons of the Pornstar Exxxtravaganza wouldn't have identified them all. They needed their uniforms....

Emotional Story Inspires ESPN Anchor To Quote Mariah Carey
There's a lot going on here. A lot of stimuli, you know. Let's break it down....

Sporting KC's First Home Goal Was Scored By A Cow
More precisely, a streaker in a cow costume. That's how the rebranded SKC opened Livestrong Park. It was to be the only goal on a rainy night, so we don't think the fans are booing as the cowman is dragged off the field. We think they're mooing. [h/t Kyle, others]...

Kansas City Man Becomes Ballpark Hero With Popcorn Bucket Catch
No child to navigate, just some stray kernels, but still: This catch was crazier than Melrose Place....

Most Pitchers Would Not React The Way Indians Closer Did After Allowing Inconsequential Run
Your morning roundup for May 18, the day your bros realized they shouldn't have done that, man. Above: Chris Perez makes his case to be the real-life Kenny Powers. Video via The Dugout Sports Show....

The Constitution Gives You The Right To Flip Off Rival Fans
A huge court ruling has gone completely under the radar. It's not a steroids witch hunt, or a BCS antitrust suit, but something far more important to the day-to-day lives of sports fans: protecting your First Amendment right to bear middle fingers at a football game....

After Beaning, Reporter Will No Longer Urge Players To Take One For The Team
Last month, Kansas City Star blogger/reporter Lee Judge wrote that Wilson Betemit should have leaned into a pitch with the bases loaded in a tie game. It wasn't received well, as leaning into the pitch is easy for sportswriters to recommend, while they're sitting comfily at home....

Kansas City Woman, Thick As A Snicker, Coveted By Young Chiefs Cornerback For Possible Romance
Brandon Flowers, the Kansas City Chiefs very decent defensive back, spotted a fetching lady sometime this afternoon and wishes to reconnect with her in the future by some whim of destiny. Flowers added that he would have engaged in deeper conversation with the woman but did not want to irritate his ...

Royals Grounds Crew Worker Encounters The Steamrolling Terror Of The Tarp
Luckily, "they saw it," the announcer declares — but not until after the Kansas City grounds crew rolled a giant killer tarp over their eager coworker's body. He survived the cylindrical attack with at least a trace of his pride....

Washed-Up Larry Johnson Has Settled His 2008 Drink-Spitting Lawsuit For $100k
Larry Johnson, most recently of the Washington Redskins and this misspelled jersey, has seen his once blossoming NFL career disappear. Now, a lawsuit regarding an inflection point along Johnson's precipitous fall from grace has disappeared too. Perhaps Johnson wants to know if his career can come ba...

Craigslist's Going Rate For A Misspelled Larry Johnson Chiefs Jersey Is $30
"Offered is the pictured Larry Johnson Kansas City Chiefs jersey by Reebok NFL Equipment." I hpoe he tkaes PyaPla. [Craigslist Raleigh, h/t Brant]...

The Kentucky Wildcats Refused To Go Down Without A Fight Or An Internationally-Televised Nut Tap
Your morning roundup for April 3, the day it became clear that 16-year-old girls at meth labs hope you have rabies....

Weeklong Ochocinco/MLS Publicity Stunt Culminates In Predictable Publicity Stunt
We honestly love Chad Ochocinco without reserve. He's like if a little kid wished to the Big fortune teller machine to be a pro athlete, and got it. His actions seem genuine, so we weren't as turned off as a lot of people by his experiment with Sporting KC, to see if he still had his soccer skills f...

Ochocinco Invited To Try Out For MLS Team In Savvy MLS Publicity Gambit
Sporting Kansas City received more single-day publicity today than it has in possibly eternity by inviting publicity provocateur and soccer hobbyist Chad Ochocinco to audition for the team. Does Ochocinco have a realistic shot at making the team? Psssh. Will he be faster than Omar Bravo, the gifted...

Sluggerrr Sued For Ol' Hot-Dog-In-The-Eye Trick
You know, Sluggerrr is quite terrifying when you really look at him. But no one has more to fear from the Royals mascot than John Coomer, who testified this week that he suffered a severe eye injury when he was the target of a thrown hot dog in 2009....