kings Page 100 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Purple Jesus And His Pop Warner Buddies
Far be it from us to impugn the reputation of a team that has won five in a row and looks, on paper, to be one of the hottest teams in the NFL, but ... heavens to Betsy, if that's what a playoff team looks like, sheesh, when's baseball season?...

It's Purple Jesus Vs. The Neckbeard
Yes, yes, tonight's "Monday Night Football" game is somewhat key to deciding that last playoff slot in the NFC, and it's nice to have an MNF game mean something. But who cares about Purple Jesus and the Vikings. It's Kyle Orton's night to shine!...

Vikings' Dwight Smith In Trouble Again
The Minnesota Vikings have a significant game against the Chicago Bears this Monday night, so it should come as no surprise that one of their players was arrested. That's just what they do. And I, for one, appreciate the consistency....

Mmmm, It's A Boatload Of Goodness
Who can make the sun rise? Sprinkle it with dew? Fred Smoot can, that's who! How could an energy bar endorsed by the former Vikings sex boat participant — and produced by a company named 3Way Enterprises — not be a major success? Introducing the Smack Energy Bar!...

Early 2000s Kings Get Their "Wacky Pose"
Remember how, when you were in Little League, right after you did the "serious" team photo, you got to do a "wacky" one? We used to put our hat backwards and pull up one pantleg. We were pretty freaking hilarious when we were 10. Anyway, the 2002 Kings apparently pulled a similar stunt....

Packers Bong Guy Keeps Putting Lotion In The Basket
You may remember the not-at-all-creepy fellow who celebrated Brett Favre's 420th touchdown in the only appropriate fashion. Well, he has a new hit video, in honor of the Packers' shellacking of the Vikings last week....

Mourning Your Grandmother Is Fineable Offense For Vikings
When we first heard that Minnesota Vikings wide receiver was being docked a game's pay for missing a game for his grandmother's funeral, we figured there had to be a catch. He had a history of skipping practice. He was generally an attitude problem. His grandmother was a Fascist. Something. But nope...

That Highly Successful Buzzsaw
We always get a kick out of these occasional "Best Sports Franchises" studies. ESPN does them, The Sporting News has some, we think even MTV did them once. We like them because they inevitably have our Buzzsaw near the bottom of the list. Sometimes even at the very bottom....

The Detmer-Favre Rivalry Continues
The Vikings just signed Koy Detmer, and he very well might play this weekend against the Packers. I Dislike Your Favorite Team brings back this video of the last time Detmer and Brett Favre faced off....

Oh, No, You Didn't Forget About Jeff, Did You?
If it's almost November, that can only mean one thing: Time for Jeff George's annual desperate plea to come back to the NFL!...

Who Knew Large Humans Could Get Winded Easily?
• Sure enough, the Dallas-Minnesota game is the nuttiest of the 4 o'clock bunch. After Vikings' defensive tackle Kevin Williams ran back Tony Romo's fumble about 80 or 90 yards into the end zone, you could see the trainer come out and squirt a water bottle on the back of his neck, because that's exa...

Brad Miller Has Cornrows
Naw, you heard us: Brad Miller has cornrows. This is from last night's Sonics-Kings exhibition game. Interesting look, Brad; we look forward to your fro next....

...AND WE ARE UNDERWAY!
By the way, this is exactly what the games will look like on my TV, but I don't give a shit. Football is finally back! We'll be in and out, and we'll have updates as we go. Enjoy the games, everyone, and check back when the assgrooves in your respective pieces of furniture need a quick breather....

It's The NFC North Pants Party
OK, now it's time for the NFC Central North. We haven't seen anybody pick anybody other than the Bears yet. We suspect it won't be much different here....

Locate Your Local Viking
From Chiefs Coalition comes this photo from ... well, we're not sure where it's from. But we're having a really difficult time figuring out where that Vikings' hands and feet go....


NFL Season Preview: Minnesota Vikings
Believe it or not, folks, the NFL season is much closer than you can possibly imagine. So close, in fact, that, if we're going to fit in every NFL team preview by the start of the season, running one every weekday, we have to start today. So there you have it....

Artest And Jackson Already Suspended For Next Season
This is an interesting way to end the blogging day: Ron Artest and Stephen Jackson were just suspended by the NBA for the first seven games of next season. Yes, you read that correctly: next season....

Meet Ron Artest's Fat Brother
As some of you might have heard, Ron Artest's little brother is trying to make it in the NBA. He's got a few strikes against him. First, he's Ron Artest's brother. Second, he weighs about 300 pounds. Third, he weighs about 300 pounds and thinks his jump shot's gonna get him to the League....

Spencer Hawes Doesn't Think It's Getting Hot In Here
New Sacramento Kings center Spencer Hawes has heard your complaints about athletes not being political, about LeBron James refusing to speak out for those suffering in Darfur. He wants you to know that he will not kowtow to corporate interests. He speak truth to power. Particular in his college deba...