Mmmm, It's A Boatload Of Goodness

Who can make the sun rise? Sprinkle it with dew? Fred Smoot can, that's who! How could an energy bar endorsed by the former Vikings sex boat participant — and produced by a company named 3Way Enterprises — not be a major success? Introducing the Smack Energy Bar!

Want another testimonial? "It's got chopped up Viagra in it," Portis said. " I'm telling you, it's an aphrodisiac." Now before anyone gets all worked up, Portis was joking. But it's worth noting, again, that the Web site has some incredible copy writers. A new interactive site will launch sometime in the spring; the current site, to give just one small example, asks consumers to "try not to tear the part of the wrap with the bar code as you rush to rip open your smack bars and unleash the chocolate ecstasy onto your tongue."

To which we ask the musical question: You Smackin' it?

Smack: You've Never Tasted Anything Like This [DC Sports Bog] Hall Of Fame Inductee: Vikings Sex Boat [Deadspin]